Baby boy or baby girl...a preference?

r3nu4l

So there I was yesterday sitting on a chair beside my wife who was lying on a bed while a woman lubed her up...sounds like the beginnings of all my dreams come true

It was but not how you might think The lube was for an ultrasound probe that would be used for a 20-week pregnancy scan.

The doctor checked for spina bifida, clubfoot, cleft palette, other facial anomalies, blood flow to kidneys, cardiac blood flow, size of heart chambers and head circumference. All was normal and the detail compared with the twelve week scan was amazing! Yesterday ranks as one of the best days of my life so far!!

So anyway, it came to the time to check the sex of the baby...would it be a boy or a girl? I was absolutely over the moon and chuffed to bits to hear that we were having a baby girl

When my wife first confirmed she was pregnant she asked if I had a preference for a boy or girl. I told her that so long as the baby was healthy I was happy either way but if I had to express a preference then I had a slight preference for a girl...nothing strong but given the choice, a girl.

So imagine how doubly chuffed I was to see that the child moving around so vigorously during the scan was a girl!

So yesterday we told immediate family and today we told a lot of people we know, like work colleagues and friends. Both of us noticed something strange...

Quite a few people asked us things such as:

'..., and are you alright with it being a girl?'

'That's great! You don't mind that it's a girl?'

'Would you have preferred a boy?'

WTF? Have I gone to sleep and woken up in India???
Now most people were just delighted for us but some people went so far as to say:

'Most men would prefer to have boys'
'[Name here] has girls and he refers to them as 'duds'' :eek:

I'm genuinely shocked tbh! I'm over the moon and so so happy that our baby is healthy, that's the most important thing and a slight and delightful bonus is that we're having a girl. I'm thrilled and couldn't be happier.

So I ask you gentlemen on the lounge, would you have a preference? If so what would it be? Boy or girl?

On another note, has anyone any suggestions as to why they would prefer one over the other.

For me, I never had sisters growing up and so mostly missed out on what girls do when they are growing up...perhaps that's why I'd prefer a girl. I also think that maybe I'd be a bit more tolerant of a girl than a boy...(that'll probably change when she won't go to sleep at 3am and I need to be up at 6!! :pac:).

Anyway, I'd like your opinions on what I consider to be a pretty disgusting, small-minded attitude that seems to suggest that boys are somehow better than girls! You would swear that Ireland was a third-world country with those attitudes!!

Will

Firstly congrats.

I'd say tbh man that if she turned out to be a boy they'd ask the same questions

If I ever have kids it wouldn't bother me either way which sex they were, like yourself as long as they were healthy I'd be over the moon.

Otis Driftwood

^^
I think you are looking for this


Anyway,congrats on the pregnancy and I wish you both very best of luck and I hope that everything goes according to plan.


As for your question,Ive always answered the same,once its healthy then I dont mind.

However,gun to the head,I would probably say a daughter,only just mind.

I have no paticular reason why but Ive always liked the idea of my baby girl bringing home her first boyfriend and absolutely grilling him as to his intentions.
:pac:

Dord

Congrats man!

Honestly I'd be happy either way.

Snowie

congrats man very best of look to you man and your good lady

Chinafoot

Congrats.

An aunt of mine reckons that girls are far easier to deal with than boys, particularly as babies/toddlers. I'm sure there's plenty who disagree but I have heard it from more than just her.

I have 2 sisters and no brothers but I do think I'd have a slight preference for a girl. That being said, once all is ok I certainly wouldn't be disappointed if it was a boy.

The "duds" comment, if serious, is actually pretty disgusting.

humberklog

If it was a boy you'd have someone saying- "jayzuz...girls love their dads, nothin' like it. You'll miss out on that now".
If you ask enough people (about 10) you're gonna whittle out one peculiar retort. I don't know if that means to say that such news exposes the odd thoughts some people hold or is it just that people don't know what to say but feel obliged to say something and plonk their big size 10s straight into their mouths (without necessarily truely holding that opinion), but yeah...it does bring out some weird responses from unexpected corners. I've a daughter and it's the bis and I did get one or two comments (no more tham that) from people that did make my eyebrows rise, congrats.


Girls ftw!

QOTSA90

Defo a baby girl, Id love 2 or 3 But ideally, one little girl and 2 older lads to look out for her.

Chinafoot

Chinafoot wrote: »

Congrats.

An aunt of mine reckons that girls are far easier to deal with than boys, particularly as babies/toddlers. I'm sure there's plenty who disagree but I have heard it from more than just her.

I've noticed that boy children tend to be more clingy.
That may well be fault of Irish Mammitisis though.

Congrats on the Girl OP! Good luck with the pregnancy!

I know of families where people my age, were treated like second class citizens in their homes for being born female.
Maybe these "dud" people come from that type of family culture.

Khannie

Congrats.

No preference myself. We're due in 5 weeks and don't know what we're having. Can't wait to find out.

r3nu4l

Thanks for all the replies folks. The 'duds' comment was serious, the guy is apparently a couple of years older than me but a very 'old-style' countryside guy who thinks that boys are more useful than girls when they get older because they can be put to work (He's a farmer/builder)! So for him, girls apparently are a bit useless...

Most people have been great but we did notice about 10% of people who asked us were we okay with it as if they themselves would have been disappointed. Another 10% or so asked us if we were okay with it as if they recognised that some people would not be, the rest were like us, just delighted

I'd never even thought that European people would even think that a girl might not be as good as a boy but there you go, I learned something new.

As I say, we're chuffed and can't wait for the day.

EDIT: I put up the poll and posted here just to see if I could get a clearer idea on how others feel, not that it will have any effect on how I feel but just as an exercise in learning

sarahlulu

congratulations. We have three girls and they are fantastic. Sick to death of being asked if we are not disappointed, and when are we going to try for a little boy.

threebeards

Congrats r3nu4l. It's an exciting time. To answer the question, I wouldn't have a preference as long as all concerned are healthy.

@ Khannie, very similar situation to you mate, my wife is due on New Years Eve and we decided not to find out whether it's a boy or a girl. The excitement is really building now. I have a gut feeling that it will be earlier than the due date. Christmas Day???

joeduggan

r3nu4l wrote: »

So I ask you gentlemen on the lounge, would you have a preference? If so what would it be? Boy or girl?

we had our first baby last year. i was swaying towards a boy cos i would like a son. but it happened to be a girl and God knows i couldnt love her any more than i do. so for any fella to go around calling his daughters duds , doesnt deserve them IMO.

Odats

Would like a boy first but sure its a 50/50 chance. No matter what comes you'll still love and care for the child no matter what. Would like 2 boys and 2 girls to complete a family as there is 3 of each in my family so I'm used to big families.

Whosbetter?

Congrats r3nu4l.

It's an exciting time alright. Hope all goes well.

Am sitting beside my 6 day old daughter at the mo.

I'm getting the usual questions about being disapointed etc., as we already have a 4 year old daughter aswell.

Not a bit of it! She's perfect in every way.

That said, myself & Mrs Whosbetter? are hovering around the 40 mark now, so, if we were to have another, I'd go for a boy.

Hellrazer

Firstly Congrats r3nu4l.

Have to say--Girls are great(Ive 3) and honestly you have a father-daughter relationship thats just amazing--(Daddy can do no wrong)--well at least until they hit 11/12--after that you just embarass them.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Hellrazer

donegalfella wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

That has to be the truest post about raising kids that Ive ever heard.I fell out with my parents when we had our first because of the above (thankfully its all sorted now) because of the whole "heres how you do this and heres how you do that" or "in my day we did it this way"
While you welcom advice from everyone its part of life learning how to raise your own kids.Part of the whole parenting thing is making mistakes and learning what your baby likes and dislikes and learning whats the best way to pacify your child--no 2 kids are the same.What Ive learned is that what worked with one of them didnt work with one of the others.

Have fun r3nu4l because despite the sleepless nights,the constant smell of puke and baby poo off you,the constant worry that they`ll grow up alright--its the best thing that can happen to a person in their life.

Mr.Applepie

I've given this a lot of thought over the last few weeks as we're having our big scan this Thursday! I've trying to imagine what it would be like having a boy or girl, and I've come to the conclusion that so long as it's healthy I couldn't care less! We want to have a few kids anyway so I'm sure we'll end up with a least one of either sex.

That being said, a few weeks ago my wife decided it was a girl so I'm rooting for a boy to balance things out.

P.S. It's good to see Atari Jaguar back in the poll options

DazMarz

I'm probably a few years away from having kids, and I'm of the opinion I want two kids: one of each, cos I could never choose between which I'd prefer!!!

Once my kids are healthy and happy, I'll be happy.

L31mr0d

apples and oranges I think. Both sexes can have their pros and cons.

I'd like to say a boy, but really if I had a girl I'd do everything with her that I would of done with a boy anyway. I think it's a bit of a stereotype that certain activities are only for boys, like physical activities... etc.

Was away on an outdoor activities holiday a few months back and 3/4 of the instructors where female. No make up, strong, able to climb mountains with no harnesses, didn't complain about the cold water... etc. I said to myself, if I ever have a girl, that's the kind of character I'd like them to have.

That being said I'd feel I'd have more to teach a boy, well, from personal experience with being this sex

In regards to the "duds" statement. It's not unusual. I have this friend that goes around giving hi5's to all the guys in the room. When the girls all look at him puzzled he exclaims "well done guys, you won the lottery of life, you where born a man". Needless to say he usually goes home alone

It might be a cultural thing tbh. The OH is from a town deep in the Canadian Rockies, fairly isolated, and women there are expected to pull their weight with the men, there isn't much disparity between the sexes in regards to physical labour. In fact, being a city guy, I felt fairly effeminate when I first stayed there. Can't remember a time since where so many women have challenged me to arm wrestling matches and beaten me :eek:

smokingman

Congrats from me too OP!

As a dad to a 3 and a half week boy, I know all about what you've experienced.
When we went for a 4-d scan in a place in Blackrock, we decided we wouldn't find out about the sex of the baby and it was a nice surprise when we eventually found out at the birth. Fully recommend the scan by the way...this is kinda what you end up with:

Juniors 4-D Scan

I'm a bit of an old fashioned guy at heart and I was kinda hoping it would be a boy (keep the family name going etc..) but the hope that they were healthy at birth was far more important to me. My brother has already had two girls so I was honestly expecting a girl. A friend of ours once said that it's always best to have a girl as they were more likely to take care of you when you're retired
So there I was at the birth, expecting a girl and a boy comes out. I didn't really care one way or another at the time as I was too busy watching to see if everything went well for baby and mother and it was only after I started having conversations with others that I noticed what the OP was referring to but nowhere near the level the OP experienced.
There does seem to be an inherrent hope in most Irish people for sons as opposed to girls - maybe it's just old fashioned - but I've yet to come across someone who would ask if someone was disappointed to have a girl; that's just being an ar$ehole.

carolinespring

As a couple who would dearly love a child I really would not care and nor dose my husband if it was a boy or girl as long as all was well. Having said that for some reason I always see myself with a little girl and its always girls names that are in my mind, the same for my husband and anytime we are in Next or Monsoon he is always picking up the little girl clothes and saying how cute our (hopefully it will happen ) girl would be in this or that outfit but at the end of the day we could not care if it was a boy or a girl as long as all went well.

OP congrats on your little girl. Dad and daughers do have a wonderful bond, well I did anyway with my Dad.

Mr Magnolia

A huge congrats & the best of luck to you both.



As a doting dad of 2 beautiful girls, all I can say is....












....she-mickeys FTW!!!

r3nu4l

Mr.Applepie wrote: »

That being said, a few weeks ago my wife decided it was a girl so I'm rooting for a boy to balance things out.

P.S. It's good to see Atari Jaguar back in the poll options

Yup a lot of our friends seemed to think it would be a boy, but MRs r3nu4l suspected it might be a girl

/Off topic: Atari Jaguar will never be forgotten, it's the BAPS war cry in Cybernations... see this, from our last declaration of war in the game.

L31mr0d

Chinafoot wrote: »

/Off topic: Atari Jaguar will never be forgotten, it's the BAPS war cry in Cybernations... see this, from our last declaration of war in the game.

That still going... jaysus, after we got annihilated during the Goons war and went into hiding I pretty much gave up on browser based MMOG's. Good to see a few of the originals are still about.

Anyway, forgot to say. Congrats!!!

endasmail

my woman is due xmas week ,from the start ,if im to be honest i wanted a boy
reasons in my head for this were ,when he older id be able to do more with a son
ex. going out hunting,bringing him to work with me and the like
but when i really think about it ,it doesnt bother me as long as the baby is healthy and has 5 fingers and toes
as it turns out she is due a boy ,found out the sex because i wanted to ,i know some people dont
and for the practial reasons of knowing which colour clothes to be buying
hope all goes well OP

Herbal Deity

endasmail wrote: »

ex. going out hunting,bringing him to work with me and the like

Why couldn't you do these things with a daughter?

That_Guy

Congrats man.

Personally, if I were to ever have a child I'd rather a boy. I think I've always just liked the idea of a boy. Anytime I go to a football match I've seen father's bringing their young son to a game and I always thought that if I had a son it's something I'd love to share with my young lad like my dad did with me.

Herbal Deity

That_Guy wrote: »

Congrats man.

Personally, if I were to ever have a child I'd rather a boy. I think I've always just liked the idea of a boy. Anytime I go to a football match I've seen father's bringing their young son to a game and I always thought that if I had a son it's something I'd love to share with my young lad like my dad did with me.

I have a 14 year old female cousin who is mad into rugby and her and her father are always going to matches.

I don't think in this day and age you'd need a child of a particular gender in order to do specific activities with them.

That_Guy

Herbal Deity wrote: »

I have a 14 year old female cousin who is mad into rugby and her and her father are always going to matches.

I don't think in this day and age you'd need a child of a particular gender in order to do specific activities with them.

This is true. Actually my sister goes to GAA matches with my dad. I guess either way I wouldn't mind what gender I had. A boy would be my preferred but I wouldn't be disappointed if it was a girl.

Even if it was a girl she'd be supporting the Toon!!!!

Chinafoot

L31mr0d wrote: »

That still going... jaysus, after we got annihilated during the Goons war and went into hiding I pretty much gave up on browser based MMOG's. Good to see a few of the originals are still about.

Anyway, forgot to say. Congrats!!!

Heh, you quoted me there...:P

markod4600

boy

endasmail

Herbal Deity wrote: »

Why couldn't you do these things with a daughter?

cant picture my daughter going out shooting and carrying 9x2 around a building site (dont think i want to either)

shellyboo

My Dad was always trying to get me out on the site with him during the summers... I always refused. Could not imagine anything more hellish than getting up at 7am every morning and going out in the lashing rain building things all day.

My little brother did it with him for one summer... but now he's gotten a job in a shop instead So whether you have a boy or a girl, there's no guarantee they'll even want to hunt/shoot/work alongside you. They have their own interests and ideas!


I was always a Daddy's girl though, still am!

r3nu4l

endasmail wrote: »

cant picture my daughter going out shooting and carrying 9x2 around a building site (dont think i want to either)

Thanks for the insight endasmail. I'm not out to slam anybody who would prefer a boy, just curious as to the reasons why. I don't agree with your take on things but I'm not going to judge you for that.

To be honest, I'd be happy if my girl took an interest in any (healthy) activity she wanted to and didn't confine herself to a gender stereotype. So if she's into football, I'll take her to football practice, if all she wants is pink princess dresses, barbie dolls and tea parties then I'll happily drink cold milky tea from a plastic cup and talk to her dollies while sitting on a very small chair

metrovelvet

^ I think its just an inherited reflex of a reaction. Boys mean someone can work on the farm, can carry on the family name, etc etc, and are less expensive [when your daughter turns 12 you will know what I mean].

Also I think that people assume the father would want a boy so he can have a little buddy because the assumption is as they get older they are more drawn to the same sex parent because the same sex parent inducts them into womanhood/manhood and detaches more from the opposite sex parent.

I didnt have a preference, but Im kind of glad I have a boy. It means I dont have pink and fluffy crap all over the place.

endasmail

my partner has a 9 year old girl from a previous relationship,the way i look at it is
in a couple of years theres going to all kinds of thing going on there with her
alot of stuff a man is not goona be able to relate to ,
there going to be little f**kers sniffing around the house trying to get into her
that stuff wrecks my head ,im still very protective of my sister (whos 26)and lives in england
with boys ,theres less maintenence .i hope

r3nu4l

endasmail wrote: »

my partner has a 9 year old girl from a previous relationship,the way i look at it is
in a couple of years theres going to all kinds of thing going on there with her
alot of stuff a man is not goona be able to relate to

Nah, I'll be working hard to be able to understand that, if not totally relate to it from personal experience. I don't mind that so much.

there going to be little f**kers sniffing around the house trying to get into her

Yup, this I'm going to find harder I think I'll be remembering my intentions towards girls when I was younger :eek: and I'll probably find that difficult for a while.

I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it...like say, when she's 30

Hellrazer

endasmail wrote: »

there going to be little f**kers sniffing around the house trying to get into her
that stuff wrecks my head ,im still very protective of my sister (whos 26)and

Ill be interviewing potential boyfriends with the shotgun in hand.

My 11 yo is getting to that age now where theyre going out in groups to the cinema etc and Im starting to get worried about what the next few years hold in store.

Shes also under strict instructions that if she brings any chav lookalikes in Ill not be a happy man

kayos

Healthy is the first preference. But ya I suppose if we're blessed with kids I would like to have a girl.

If we do have a girl the following will be bought:
1) Bolt cutters to be left outside to nature to rust for at least 14years. But care given to ensure it still opens and closes.
2) String vest

When the first boy comes knocking on the door once the teenage years hit the door will be answered with me wearing item 2 while holding item 1 with a menicing look on my face.

As they say have a boy and you have one little prick to worry about, have a girl and you have every prick in town to worry about.

endasmail

endasmail wrote: »

cant picture my daughter going out shooting and carrying 9x2 around a building site (dont think i want to either)

What exactly would be wrong with that?

DazMarz

Haha, can relate to a lot of the feelings on this thread: one of my soppy dreams for my future is to one day bring my kid to Stamford Bridge to see the Blues playing. And if I'm to be honest, I imagine it more with a little boy that with a girl. I'd obviously still bring my daughter to a game (brainwash 'em early! Blue for life!:D), but I always end up imagining me bringing my son to a game moreso.

Old fashioned ideas still polluting this young, modern mind!!!:o

OldGoat

In my misguided youth I believed that I needed to father a son just to carry on the family name (me being the last oppertunity to do so). I realised as me and Mrs Goat were discussing starting a family that the strength of my family line runs through the maternal side rather then the paternal side so I am proud and happy to gave two girlies.
The only thing I can say about having two girlies (and I'm sure this is the same for boys) is that they will compleatly confound any pre-conceptions you have about rearing them. They will be totally different from you, totally alien to your likes, will hate your tastes in everything, will be embarrised by you trying to be hip with their friends. And just when you've accepted this fact after 13 or 14 years they'll suddenly change tack on you and supprise you with some other facit of their personality.

To the new mammies and daddies I say congratulations and hold on tight. Tis better then a rollercoaster and lasts way longer.

To the patents of long established offspring I say - Ya can't help but laugh at thread like this. Bless.

Snowie

I dont really have a preference, I mean eithe way as long as they grow up respecting the imporant things brake a few rules hear and there meh...

If i have two girls Im baring there windows and fiting them with a gps tracker/ ankle braclets if i have two boys meh there boys they can do what they like :P (joke)

Gran Hermano

Firstly, big congrats to r3nu4l and his other half.

I honestly would not mind either gender.

As a friend of mine with one of each both under 2 years told me, 'baby boys will wreck your house but baby girls will wreck your head'

endasmail

Moonbaby wrote: »

What exactly would be wrong with that?

come on now

how many girls do ya see going around ,horsing timber or wot ever around the place ?

the shooting ,ok not so much ,cause i know women that do it,but their few and far between

The Big Red Button

endasmail wrote: »

my woman is due xmas week ,from the start ,if im to be honest i wanted a boy
reasons in my head for this were ,when he older id be able to do more with a son
ex. going out hunting,bringing him to work with me and the like
but when i really think about it ,it doesnt bother me as long as the baby is healthy and has 5 fingers and toes
as it turns out she is due a boy ,found out the sex because i wanted to ,i know some people dont
and for the practial reasons of knowing which colour clothes to be buying
hope all goes well OP

Um ... :eek: