Considering a threesome & need advice..

Farygirl

Hi,
Hope this isn't the wrong board to post this to. Me & my partner are together 10 yrs and have 2 kids. We've a very happy home life & relationship with each other. It's been a long standing fantasy of mine to watch him have sex with another woman/join in etc. I've been with a woman before, and would really like to repeat the experience. The other night after fooling around, DP mentioned he'd love experience me & another woman at the same time. I said, you organise it & I'll be there, being flippant, but highly interested. He said he wouldn't know how to and he'd leave it up to me. He seems to have forgotten about it in the meantime, and it's all I can think about. I've been thinking about registering with a site, but don't really know where to start, and don't want to be a time waster to others, tri-curious if you will, lol, at the moment.

Long story short, where's the line between fantasy & reality? How do you know if you're ready/able for something like that? In the past I've had jealousy issues with my DP, I went through a bit of PND, but that & the associated jealousy is behind me for quite some time now (I feel like the old me, who is confident of myself & my relationship with DP).
Has anybody out there done the same? Can you give any hints/advice? How to's and what not to do etc.?
Thanks,
Fay.

cafecolour

Well, I'd guess you'll have better luck finding someone than he would. But obviously don't go to a lesbian bar or anything like that (they tend not to appreciate being propositioned for threesomes with boyfriends).

Perhaps the best way to start would be both of you go to a club together, flirt with ladies individually, and then mention that the girlfriend/boyfriend is also here and see what they think. That also might be a good indicator of any jealousy issues - whether watching him flirt with another girl (at your request) sets you off or not.

Also, make sure the third party is someone you are both into (or not into) equally. I imagine if one person is really into the girl and one isn't so much, someone might end up feeling jealous.

Piglet85

I wouldn't risk it if I were you to be honest. And the main reason for that is that you have two kids together! What happens to them if it turns out that you weren't able to survive a threesome? You obviously have some doubts about whether it might re-ignite jealousy issues you've had in the past, and that's probably a valid concern - as far as jealousy-inducing actions go, that's pretty high on the list!

I'm not saying your sex life has to stop once you have children, far from it, but I don't think it's fair on them to do something that you know has the potential to jeapordise their both your and their future happiness.

If you're not 110% sure that you could cope with this - and you don't seem to be - then you probably shouldn't be doing it. Some things are better kept as a fantasy.

extremethinker

No. Its quite disgusting really. Just imagine how shamed your kids would feel if this got out in years to come.

Wibbs

extremethinker while yours is a valid opinion, maybe tone down the disgusting aspect please.

krudler

extremethinker wrote: »

No. Its quite disgusting really. Just imagine how shamed your kids would feel if this got out in years to come.

Whats that got to do with anything? are we all supposed to believe our parents only had sex to make us and never did anything remotely sexual for their own needs/desires?

OP the threesome thing, while its pretty high on most peoples fantasy list, it could make or break a relationship if one or both people arent prepared for the jealousy it might involve, you'd probably do best to set out some ground rules, if it wouldnt bother him to see you with another woman and you'd have no problem doing it for him (and you) then maybe leave it at that, seeing him with her may not be something you're prepared for

Kiera

The fact you've had jealousy issues in the past would be a warning sign for me. You might think it will be pretty hot to see your other half with another girl but when face to face with it, whats to say you wont get jealous of all the attention he's giving her?

If you are having even 1% doubt i wouldn't do it.

magneticimpulse

i think this is a fantasy rather than reality. i think during the height of the moment in bed, this seems like a great fantasy. i know in reality i would prob never go through with this and wouldnt like OH to like it so much that it would have to become a regular thing of the relationship.

i would also worry that if you both go looking for someone, that it might then trigger a feeling of crossing a barrier that its easy to chat up women and maybe he might want to have threesomes with other women again (even if you are not involved).

the fact that he is leaving it up to you, might mean that if it was to happen, he prob go ahead with it but seems like he leaving you with the full option as to whether you two take that step into reality. is there other things which you two can try in reality in the bedroom which doesnt neccessary mean a threesome? watching video's, dressing up, etc ? something that will spice things up but would not actually mean having a threesome?

like the others said, if you doubt it at all, i would not go ahead with it.

daisybelle2008

cafecolour wrote: »

Well, I'd guess you'll have better luck finding someone than he would. But obviously don't go to a lesbian bar or anything like that (they tend not to appreciate being propositioned for threesomes with boyfriends).

Perhaps the best way to start would be both of you go to a club together, flirt with ladies individually, and then mention that the girlfriend/boyfriend is also here and see what they think. That also might be a good indicator of any jealousy issues - whether watching him flirt with another girl (at your request) sets you off or not.

Also, make sure the third party is someone you are both into (or not into) equally. I imagine if one person is really into the girl and one isn't so much, someone might end up feeling jealous.

Just like the lesbians, single women in clubs do not tend to appreciate being propositioned for threesomes with boyfriends. This is not a good idea.

Find people similarily interested in specific websites where you probably have started looking already.

castle

Maybe the way to go about this is to along to a swing party where there are couple's and single girls, we have been to a few in our time and will be around xmas.
There there wont be as much pressure as if you where to meet a single girl at a hotel or similar.Here at the party you do not have to do anything at all as myself and other half done the first time we went. You can go have a peek get to talk to couple's who have done what you guys are interested in doing.
You can also chat with a single girl who might be interested in having some fun with you two and organize to meet at next party or have your own private party.
You could also hook up with another couple there and do what you are interested in.make sure you are both happy with the person you are going to play with don't just be with some girl just to please your OH this will only lead to resentment.If you are a real jealous person then maybe this 3 some business is not for you,your OH can help with this if he pays you enough attention if you ever had that 3some.What tend to happen is some new is bound to get him going and he may forget about you and you feel out lying on the bed beside them making out.If it was a couple then this would not happen but if you go the girl route he needs to spoil you more than ever.
Best of luck, feel free to PM if you want any advice on the QC
Don't listen to the people who say your s kids would be disgusted etc, this is private thing nothing to do with kids, this is your time and anyway how would anybody know what your kids would think in years to come, if any of our kids knew the things their parents had done they would run a mile and visa versa, I don't wont my kids to know about our sex lives as I don't want to know about my own parents sex lives. If I found out that my parent's used to swing or have 3 some's I would think fair paly to ye and it is none of my business,
Old Ireland keeps veering it's ugly head the church and all that crap, people just mine their own business and don't judge people who are not doing any harm to anyone or anything illegal,
Best of luck