stressed about christmas

LegacyUser

i'm feeling very stressed about christmas this year. feel so under pressure to buy presents and i just don't have the money for it all any more. unfortunately i am a temp worker in the public sector (i know, worst place to be right now!) and am on 22,000 with cuts to come to ensure the dossers and layabouts on 95,000+ can continue as they are while we carry them and their workloads. i would love to be able to go to my boyfriends family home for christmas (love them!) but feel extremely uncomfortable as all his brothers, sisters and sisters in laws always get me presents. i never considered getting them presents as i don't know them and only would get gifts for friends/family. so of course i get something for his parents but certainly not his brothers, sisters, inlaws and nephews. i don't want to get into this competition of buying presents for these people i hardly know but i feel so awful receiving expensive gifts every year from people i never see otherwise and have nothing in return for them. i really enjoy getting gifts for my bf and two close friends but thats it - its all i can afford. i wish they could just not get presents and we could simply enjoy the days holiday and drink and have fun. now i feel i can't even go to the family home for christmas day, the humiliation while they wait for their gifts is crap. how do people deal with this kindof thing? they presume i'm stingy i'm sure, as like everyone else as soon as they heard i got a job in the public service the jibes started about it being fine for some and i must be minted. this makes it even harder :-( help!

John Mason

you need to talk to your bf and explain this to him and get him to have a word with his family.

me and my brother had this talk last year and it was agreed we wouldnt buy partners presents.

the same with my cousins and friends, they have all been told i will not be buying them or their kids presents and i asked that they didnt buy me anything, tbh everyone seemed relieved

Acoshla

I'm on like 16,000 a year, and all my family and my boyfriends family know I'm not about to spend a fortune on presents for them, and I wouldn't be embarrassed about telling them either, everybody has been broke at some stage in their lives and people know how tough it is for some people at the moment, don't feel bad about it. My boyfriend's sister and mother are desperate for buying me presents when they go on holidays and crap like that, I hate it, I just told my boyfriend to tell them not to do it, I hate feeling like I owe someone a present especially when I don't know them that well and wouldn't have the first clue what to get them.

As for people you have to buy for like family and friends, put a little thought into something inexpensive but that they will love, for example I ordered a photobook for my best friend with all our best memories in it, cost me just under 30 euro, she'll absolutely love it and I didn't have to spend a fortune because a lot of thought and effort went into it.

Don't worry about it op, no point getting stressed out and ruining your Christmas because of it.

sunnyside

Spadina wrote: »

I ordered a photobook for my best friend with all our best memories in it, cost me just under 30 euro, she'll absolutely love it and I didn't have to spend a fortune because a lot of thought and effort went into it.
.

€30 is a lot though if it's for people you don't even know and there's a lot of people.

How about bringing some food instead of individual presents. Go round to all the supermarkets, buy the special offers, €50 could be made to stretch a long way.

LegacyUser

It's Christmas, yes people are going to buy you presents to show they care.

You should buy them all gifts and not break the bank, the thought is worth so much more.

I think you should buy them all a Christmas bear in the Spar for €2.99 each.
It's a nice thought, a cute thought, cheap enough and the money is going towards helping a charity.

Yes people know what it's like to be broke but getting nothing at all is just plain crap at Christmas!!!

Acoshla

sunnyside wrote: »

€30 is a lot though if it's for people you don't even know and there's a lot of people.

sunnyside if you read that paragraph properly you'll see that I suggested that in relation to gifts for her loved ones not her boyfriend's family.

spongeman

Listen I think you will find with the economy this year the present thing will be the least of everybodys worries.

Tell the relevant people straight out you cannot get presents, You d'ont have to tell everybody. I was in this situation before and just did that.

If people do not realise whats going on in this country now then leave them to it.

D'ont let it hang over you.

LegacyUser

Good advice Spongeman - the whole present thing has gone crazy and is serving no one but the banks and the international retailers. We ought to have a strike - seriously - against this present mania that has been fostered on everyone over the past few decades.

When I was kid we got presents only for and from those closes to us. The it was small like sweets or fancy soap.