When is enough.... enough!

LegacyUser

Simple question, when should you walk away? Back and forth with my partner for the last 8 months. Don't know if im afraid to be alone or don't think i'm good enough for anyone else. We have an extremely complicated situation. But how do you know its right to leave?

tony1kenobi

If the honeymoon period suck it isn't going to get better.If you watched a film that is crap for 90 minutes would you expect it to get better in the last ten?

CDfm

Being in love with someone should not be complicated.

if you love them and they you its a start.

then you need to look at what you bring to the others lives and how you will do in the future.

take it easy

anniehoo

tony1kenobi wrote: »

If the honeymoon period suck it isn't going to get better

+1 basically what id say too and i think you know that too chick ;)

Fiend-Foe

tony1kenobi wrote: »

If the honeymoon period suck it isn't going to get better.If you watched a film that is crap for 90 minutes would you expect it to get better in the last ten?

I disagree. Myself and my girlfriend had a very messy, rocky first year together, right from the start. We were constantly fighting and at each others throats. It wasn't very nice at all. We both considered packing it in many times and didn't think we were right for one another at all at times.

We split for a few months and when we got back together everything was perfect, now nearly 3 years later we are both so so happy that we stuck with it and didn't give up or throw it away. Which would have been so easy to do.

We realised how just how much we meant to one another and started to treat eachother properly. We couldn't be happier, I know she is the only one I ever want to be with. We're best friends and we get along so well. I have never been closer to anyone.

Just that first year was a bad time for both of us, we were both going through some pretty difficult personal stuff and it took its toll on our relationship. There were times when it would have seemed worse than hopeless for our future together. Now we have a perfect relationship, and in some ways I think all the difficult times we endured have made us so much stronger together. Made us much more aware of how we treat each other and the other person's needs. I don't know what I'd do without her, can't imagine what life would be like without her in it.

Kiraandliamo

Look, every relationship is different. we have all felt like this before... what should i do.. should i stay or should I go. the bottom line is, if its wrong and your heart is telling you its wrong then you need to go and spend time by yourself to see what you want. if you still want to be with them despite everything then at least youll know youve given yourself that opportunity!;)

I do disagree with the honeymoon comment. Ive been in a simular situation where someone done alot of hurtful things to me when i gave it everything i had and over time they have seen that they were being immature and it was theyre insecurities that made them do these things... it has a knock on effect, if someone is mean to you, you react by getting paranoid which doesnt help... you end up being the destroyer of something you could have handled better. if someone is hurting you, you need to make them aware without being on the defensive. if they cant respect how you feel then your with the wrong person and let me tell you this..... never ever think your not good enough for anyone.. thats complete bull, there is so many people looking for a good person to be with!

cafecolour

Sorry - have you only been dating 8 months, or are the last 8 months bad and it's been a much longer relationship?

From your post though, it seems like you're ready to leave and just looking for the push.

LegacyUser

we have been together for a fairly long time, never had the most stable of relationships. Always very heated, but someone said to me that it shows that we care enough to fight and try. I don't know. I have walked away before but always gone back, and i don't know if its fear or love.

daisybelle2008

hepmeplease wrote: »

Simple question, when should you walk away? Back and forth with my partner for the last 8 months. Don't know if im afraid to be alone or don't think i'm good enough for anyone else. We have an extremely complicated situation. But how do you know its right to leave?

What's that about? If the other person is married, in another relationship or abusive there is no point staying. No one can give you good advise without more info. The word fear is not one I would expect to feature in my relationship vocabulary.

magneticimpulse

yeah we cant help you when you just say complicated situation. it could be your OH is in a stressful job, studying, foreign country, drugs, alcohol, house together. could be any number of things that would make a situation complicated. will this complicated situation always stay this way? is it for a short period? will things improve after complicated situation?

until we know the jist of the story, we cannot give you advice. this is because, sometimes we can see the situation from the other persons view. why they are acting this way. why this might have an effect on your relationship. i think its always good to give a relationship a go. i work with many indian men and they go back to india to get married in a pre arranged marriage with a woman they never saw or met before in person. i really admire this and everyone who i work with admires this too. some people would think its crazy. but i admire, that these people accept each other and work on their relationship. they make compromise. they stick together. i find all too often people in ireland, can keep going from one to the next person. without actually making a real effort to give the relationship a go.