Comments I've Received on the Golf Course

ShriekingSheet

This is a while back, but thought I'd post. We've all been on the end of some pretty funny / insulting comments on the course by less than tactful guys. My favourite was 9 holes I played with a 4 hanidcap guy, about 5 years younger than me, and one shot lower at the time.

Sheet: "I see you've got the G10 too - same as my own - great club!"
Guy: "Well probably not the exact same... mine is X flex..."
Sheet: "Oh right... I was actually thinking of moving to the X" (you may remember the posts here)
Guy: "Yeah? Well I'm having an XX flex imported from the states"
Sheet (stifeling giggles): "Really?"
Guy: "Yeah, the X is far too whippy for me" (the thing is actually like a telegraph pole)
Sheet: "Well if yours is up for grabs I might buy it off you. Mind if I have a bash?"
Guy: "No, you might roof it..."
Sheet: ...
Guy: "Oh well go on... just tee it low"

scrubber72

On our first days play in a new club my mate and I were to be joined by 2 senior players, neither showed up on the first tee so we decided we had better tee off. Half way down the second we happen to see the others walking up the first, they called us over apologised for being late and said they would join us on the third tee if we wanted to wait for them. Fine we said and continued to the 2nd green. After about 25 mins they showed up and introduced themselves(lady and gent by the way). Both my mate and I were off 18 at the time and getting lots of lessons too but he showed more ability to take in the lessons were as i struggled. Anyways we all played the 3rd and on the fourth the gent who joined us commented to me that my mate has a lovely swing for a 18 handicapper.
I told him that we both were taking lessons from the same pro. When I stood up to take my tee shot I could hear the gent then talk to my mate and tell him how he thought he had a lovely swing.... and that I had a lovely golf bag:(

Mister Sifter

Ha... class.

I played with a guy in Navan in an open day a few years back who sticks out. He was off 13 or so, but claimed he was a qualified teaching pro. I wasn't having a very good day and a comment along the lines of 'geez, i'm all over the shop today' opened the floodgates for the guy.

Between hoels 6 and 18, everything about my game was disected. Pretty much everything was wrong and i needed everything from new grips with extra tape underneath to my lies and lofts adjusted and my shafts lengthened. My head was melted by the end.

f22

Played with a guy from my own club a few years back. Had been in the US and was fitted for the first generation Cleveland Hi-Bore (the wok as the lads nicknamed it).

I was mincing the ball that day and barely missed a fairway. Yer man says to me (after hitting every shot like a pig ), "Jaysus, thats some driver you have there, I think I'm going to have to buy one of those, my driver is ****e".

I just looked at him and smiled, I nearly had to peal the other guy off the floor.

Myksyk

ShriekingSheet wrote: »

Sheet: "Well if yours is up for grabs I might buy it off you. Mind if I have a bash?"
Guy: "No, you might roof it..."
Sheet: ...
Guy: "Oh well go on... just tee it low"

Oh man, if there was EVER an excuse for roofing it, this HAD to be it! Please tell me you left an imprint of 'prov1x' on the top of his driver!!!

gorfield

Just this year in senior cup.......With the match tied at 2-2 in the area final and me having got up and down out of a tree stump to take it to tie holes in the last match, one of my TEAM MATES calmly said to me as i walked to the 19th, "you always want to be the hero, nows your chance....".

I wouldnt see eye to eye with the chap as he was the low man at the club until i joined and has been a knob from day one.
My opponent made a great putt on the 22nd to win the tie, and only one person smiled from our club that evening........ Sometimes i wish i was a hacker......

ozymandias10

playing jimmy bruen in the summer. It was the semifinal of our area...matches were 2-2 all down to our game big crowd following as it does when matches go down to the wire ...we were one down playing 18 and the opposition player walks along the fairway next to me and says "are you as nervous as me?" trying to bustle me...I stared at him and said calmy "Don't think so" stitched my shot to three feet and won on the 20th...loved it ..In fairness yer man came back over in the clubhouse and said well done as we showed major cajones to do what we did.

BombSquad

ShriekingSheet wrote: »

This is a while back, but thought I'd post. We've all been on the end of some pretty funny / insulting comments on the course by less than tactful guys. My favourite was 9 holes I played with a 4 hanidcap guy, about 5 years younger than me, and one shot lower at the time.

Sheet: "I see you've got the G10 too - same as my own - great club!"
Guy: "Well probably not the exact same... mine is X flex..."
Sheet: "Oh right... I was actually thinking of moving to the X" (you may remember the posts here)
Guy: "Yeah? Well I'm having an XX flex imported from the states"
Sheet (stifeling giggles): "Really?"
Guy: "Yeah, the X is far too whippy for me" (the thing is actually like a telegraph pole)
Sheet: "Well if yours is up for grabs I might buy it off you. Mind if I have a bash?"
Guy: "No, you might roof it..."
Sheet: ...
Guy: "Oh well go on... just tee it low"

Pardon me if I'm wrong but I played with you ages ago (~7 years) in Kilcock and you were using a Titliest 975D X100 Dynamic Gold and you leant it to Mark G on 18 and said "tee it low, you might roof it!". We had a good laugh at the time.

I'd be shocked if it wasn't you...

ozymandias10

BombSquad wrote: »

Pardon me if I'm wrong but I played with you ages ago (~7 years) in Kilcock and you were using a Titliest 975D X100 Dynamic Gold and you leant it to Mark G on 18 and said "tee it low, you might roof it!". We had a good laugh at the time.

I'd be shocked if it wasn't you...

its kicking off now

ShriekingSheet

BombSquad wrote: »

Pardon me if I'm wrong but I played with you ages ago (~7 years) in Kilcock and you were using a Titliest 975D X100 Dynamic Gold and you leant it to Mark G on 18 and said "tee it low, you might roof it!". We had a good laugh at the time.

I'd be shocked if it wasn't you...

wtf?

how have you put all that together from my posts? And more worryingly, remembered the spec of my driver from 7 years ago?

And yes, as a teenager I was a complete d*ck about golf.
...unlike now of course.

f22

ShriekingSheet wrote: »

wtf?

how have you put all that together from my posts? And more worryingly, remembered the spec of my driver from 7 years ago?

And yes, as a teenager I was a complete d*ck about golf.
...unlike now of course.

Ha ha, good detective work!

ShriekingSheet

Seriously... I'm kinda freaked out now.
I can barely rememeber the driver I had before my G10.

Mister Sifter

That is actually a little bit scary!!

Kevinmarkham

He's behind you...

Oh no he isn't

Oh yes he is


For those of you who won't make it to the Gaiety panto this year

thegen

ShriekingSheet wrote: »

Seriously... I'm kinda freaked out now.
I can barely rememeber the driver I had before my G10.

Sheet you could ask our new mod to impose a "barring" order on him;)

BombSquad

ShriekingSheet wrote: »

Seriously... I'm kinda freaked out now.
I can barely rememeber the driver I had before my G10.

Well it's fairly distinctive when someone has the exact same driver as Tiger had at the time. There weren't many steel shafted drivers around, never mind the fact that it was a bit shorter with an X100... And I'd never heard anyone use the term 'roof it' before or since hence the shock when I saw it here being posted by you...

PhilipMarlowe

My money is on there being a ShriekingSheet shrine somewhere in BombSquad's house... photo's, candles, the signed card from 7 years ago... that sort of thing

ShriekingSheet

BombSquad wrote: »

Well it's fairly distinctive when someone has the exact same driver as Tiger had at the time. There weren't many steel shafted drivers around, never mind the fact that it was a bit shorter with an X100... And I'd never heard anyone use the term 'roof it' before or since hence the shock when I saw it here being posted by you...

Oh-kayyy.

To be fair, me and mark were mates from school at the time. So it wasn't like I was a stranger ribbing him - and he was well capable of the odd mis-hit at the time

Anyway, that driver was the stupidest thing I've ever bought.