Slim, healthy guy with a big backside...

LegacyUser

I can't believe I'm posting about such a thing.. and could barely get myself to do it.. I am 100% serious though and this truly does affect my self image greatly! Unreg is a must for this!

Right so I am a guy (20) with a rather large, flabby and downright horrible looking arse.. Just doesn't look like a man's at all... And what makes it worse is, I can't understand why it's like this!! I am not, nor have I ever been, overweight in my life. I'm currently around 5'10 and weight only about 156-60lbs... So pretty normal, healthy weight and I'm slim overall...

Now it hadn't been affecting my life too badly (as it's not too noticeable in clothes) until recently when this girl I am very attracted too (and plan to ask out..) brushed past me, in a place which was very crowded.. You might think.. so what's the big deal? Well I didn't think anything of it until later on when I realised that we squeezed past each other back to back, both our 'behinds' touching... Now I've been so upset the past few days because of the likelyhood she noticed (or rather felt) how big my arse is... and it's probably put her off me...

Now I don't want to sound pervy but how else can I say it.... Okay.. I could quite clearly sense the shape of hers.. so I can only assume she could with mine as well!!! She seemed to be wearing very thin trousers, while I was wearing jeans but I don't think that matters.. and I am convinced she noticed...

Well anyway that's an example of how it affects my self esteem and really brings me down.. This is probably the worst case I have ever had to experience though as I really have a big crush on the girl and now I feel like my damn unattractive arse has ruined any potential... Devestated.

Don't know what exactly I'm looking for here, but I guess I just had to tell someone about it and it's not exactly something I'd share with anyone I know.... Thanks for reading...

cafecolour

Girls are not generally as hung up on specific physical attributes as guys. I highly doubt it's gonna make a difference either way.

If it's really that big of a deal to you - squats, lunges, and stairs/steps. You can join a gym or just do them at home.

LegacyUser

First thoughts are that you're over reacting. Its probably not that big. We all overemphasise our faults, thats a fact.

Second thoughts are, even if it is a bit big, this is not a big problem. Get thee to a gym. And by all means work on the bum, but what you should really do is focus on the shoulders, if you get a bigger upper bod, the lower bit will seem more in proportion.

Third thoughts: An ex of mine essentially had a crap body. He was too tall (think peter crouch) and he had teeny, bony too narrow shoulders, huge woman-like hips and a saggy ass with stretch marks. But I was nuts about him, because he had a great personality.

And of course some women like ass!

LegacyUser

I was of the impression that there is not much that you can change about that particular area...

I have all the equipment at home so I could try exercising but I quit exercising in the past because I play guitar (it's a big part of my life) and I'm concerned that putting stress on my arm muscles/wrist might affect my playing...

I have been walking more often thinking that might have an effect, but it hasn't..

LegacyUser

Hi op,

As cafecolour said you could work on it with squats, lunges and clenches (in my experience clenches can really help to tone up the bum), without working on your arms if you're worried it would effect guitar playing.

I think this is probably one of those situations where nobody notices it except you. We can tend to see ourselves in a different light than how others see us.

Now maybe the exercise will work, maybe it wont but if its something that makes you this self conscious wouldn't it be better to try to do something positive about it, like exercise, which may make you feel better about it, than nothing? Sometimes even being proactive about something is enough to make us feel a bit better.

cafecolour

You certainly can - it's not as easy as say biceps or pecs as you can't target it as directly, but it can be done.

Squats and lunges are easily the best. As said stairs, or just a step you keep stepping on and off us.

Walking is always good, but in terms of actual butt it's not going to do much unless you are doing a lot of uphill.

AFAIK you should be fine working out the upper body and doing the guitar, just don't do to much to increase actual finger/grip strength. I had a friend who stopped climbing because he was serious about the guitar, because that requires mad finger strength.

Honestly, I'd suggest working out a bit just as a confidence booster. But as to this particular instance, I think it'd be safe to say she's not going to care.

LegacyUser

Unreg234 wrote: »

I was of the impression that there is not much that you can change about that particular area...

I have all the equipment at home so I could try exercising but I quit exercising in the past because I play guitar (it's a big part of my life) and I'm concerned that putting stress on my arm muscles/wrist might affect my playing...

I have been walking more often thinking that might have an effect, but it hasn't..

So so so untrue, my hubbie plays spanish guitar and has worked with as a session musician with many bands for a living here and abroad and is also fit as f**k and has been known to do 200 push ups a day and he's forty... and also has incredibly flexible, freakishly, feminine slim-looking wrists might I add!

If you're under fifty, exercise will only strengthen. Do stretches to counteract any tightness you may feel.

I do yoga and see muscle bound guys who come in there who have no flexibility whatsoever... but they're usually people who have been pressing iron all their young lives. No don't have anything to worry about when it comes to playing guitar.

Its true that you can't really change your overall body shape with exercise. But you can make a HUGE difference, especially to how you carry yourself. Walking is great exercise for your cardiovascular system and in fact, for health, its what we're best designed to do, so in many ways its the ultimate.

But it doesn't make us strong. Walkers are often skinny looking people.

Get a regime going. You need some weight training. Forget the ass, focus on getting your upper body in proportion. You have to take some pain for this. Walking is not enough. If you can't afford a gym, their is one exercise you really need to do: the dreaded push up! Will widen the chest and bulk arms. Just keep your bod rigid. Twenty good ones a day is ok to start. But start!

Kosseegan

Get yourself some MBT shoes. They will stretch your legs. Posture is also important. Learn the Alexander technique.

cowzerp

OMG the fitness advise on here is terrible, move it to fitness for good advise! i,ve a big arse and it stops me looking like a junky when im skinny for fighting-i love it,

and fat wont be shifted form your ass from stairs, mbt etc, its excess fat and needs to be lost if its a major issue for you, your just unlucky where you store your excess

LegacyUser

First of all, it's probably not THAT big. Second of all, it's really not a huge deal. You may not be able to shrink it, but doing squats and lunges (particularly lunges) WILL do a great deal to tone it.

Anyway, the reason I actually replied is this - I used to work in a huge office. All the girls in the I worked with were OBSESSED with a guy who worked on a different floor and had a big ass. They absolutely loved him (pretty much solely for his ass). I won't repeat the comments that were made, because they're not suitable for ANYBODY'S ears, but they were all complimentary.

So to sum up - alot of girls like big butts. (Again, I'd like to stress, it's probably not as big as you think it is, and it may well go unnoticed)

fatal

embrace it,love it;)
Im about 205lbs and im in the same boat.Its annoying having a relatively small waist but a monstrous rear end!!!Thinking about myself as a male version of J.lo helps:p

DubLass

More cushion for the pushin I say, dont be so hard on yourself, we all have bits we hate.

LegacyUser

Take it easy on yourself, man.
Look at the positive soide :
It takes a big hammer to drive a big nail.

wylo

OP, I think your looking at yourself from a mans viewpoint of how we'd look at a woman. Woman arent quite as shallow as us. Yes, they want men to be fit and healthy and look good etc, but if you think for a second that your arse will stop you getting with this girl then you've alot to learn I think.

As all the others said here, work on your upper body, that will get noticed ALOT more than your arse, and you'll feel better. Also , start working on a real proper diet, thats the most important thing, and good excersise for shedding fat, because you cant just decide to lose fat in one part of your body.

I could be very wrong here and very naive but afaik women dont go around thinking "hes good looking,but hes got a horrible arse though".

Esel

How many people telling you your ass was not large would it take for you to start believing it? That's your main problem, imo.

You're 5'10" and 160lbs - how big could your ass possibly be?

cowzerp

esel wrote: »

How many people telling you your ass was not large would it take for you to start believing it? That's your main problem, imo.

You're 5'10" and 160lbs - how big could your ass possibly be?

People who have not seen it, telling him is not going to make him too excited now in fairness, :rolleyes:

if you want a smaller bum you need to lose some weight, how much depends on the size of your bum, but most likely anywhere from 3lbs up of fat.

LegacyUser

three words,

Squats squats squats,

should tone up your ass. no need for a serious weight and make sure you get shown the proper technique.
Also shoulder bridges are good as well as lunges. take some control over it.

LegacyUser

Unreg234 wrote: »

I was of the impression that there is not much that you can change about that particular area... ...

true but it is also the case that last on first off re losing fat (a general rule of thumb) so if thats where its at, thats where you'll lose it. I believe cycling will help as strengthening your leg and ass muscles will shape your posterior to carry the extra load and as a consequence will make you look and feel better.

Unreg234 wrote: »

I have all the equipment at home so I could try exercising but I quit exercising in the past because I play guitar (it's a big part of my life) and I'm concerned that putting stress on my arm muscles/wrist might affect my playing...

Again this is where cycling will help as besides running cycling is probably one of the easiest exercises on the upper body.

All this with a token: It is quite normal to feel that you have a physical deformity that will turn off the opposite sex. such things are part of life. Spent one hour sitting in a caff watching people go by. Every time you see a perfect body I will give you €1 (note: no I wont, its just for demonstration purposes, ie there is no such thing)

LegacyUser

Dr.Ass Doctor wrote: »

It is quite normal to feel that you have a physical deformity that will turn off the opposite sex. such things are part of life. Spent one hour sitting in a caff watching people go by. Every time you see a perfect body I will give you €1 (note: no I wont, its just for demonstration purposes, ie there is no such thing)

I see what you're saying and I'd agree that of course there is no such thing as a perfect body. I just seem to have been very unfortunate in that I didn't seem to get blessed with even the odd one or two good, attractive features.. People I see on the street (or wherever) all seem to have at least some good features to make up for anything that might be considered unnattractive about themselves physically. If I had at least some things about my body/appearance that I could be happy about, then I probably wouldn't be making such a fuss over my arse.. but I really have looked so hard at myself and I really don't even have one good thing.. so I just see my unnatractive arse as yet another area I lost out in... the whole list is ticked now pretty much....

Hope I made sense..

Thanks for the replies also.

Esel

Unreg234 wrote: »

....I really have looked too hard at myself....

FYP. Not intended to be facetious, btw.

Have a look at BDD on Wikipedia and see if anything hits home.

LegacyUser

esel wrote: »

FYP. Not intended to be facetious, btw.

Have a look at BDD on Wikipedia and see if anything hits home.

Yes, I have researched that before and it does hit home, everything actually.. Even if I do have the disorder it wouldn't help me or change anything because having it doesn't necessarily mean I'm not ugly and my concerns are unfounded...

My facial features are literally the opposite of what's considered attractive.. A large odd looking nose (to describe it at the risk of sounding racist (which I am NOT), it looks more like the nose of an african person (I am white). I have a small mouth, slightly chubby cheeks (another thing I can't understand or fix!!!) while most everyone I see my age (who are not overweight) have slim faces... - continued: I also have a big round head and ears that are protruding (although not severely) more than would be desired I would say...... Oh and I almost forgot to list my other big cheeks.

Also I have a small torso (as well as thin wrists and small hands) and long legs (with considerably thick ankles and big feet. This makes me think I f*cked up my growth as I was developing or something.... which is highly depressing.

I also have a seemingly undesirable penis length of bang on average, but here's the kicker... it's almost an inch below (the wikipedia stated) average girth.......................

So I really can't find any desirable, universally considered, attractive physical features about myself at all. I have tried to convince myself otherwise, believe me! But I can't help seeing the facts right there in front of me. It's clear that most everyone has it better off than me.

LegacyUser

Everyone has issues with their bodies, loads of guys would like to have bigger muscles, more definition, bigger cock etc but you have what you have and getting all upset is not going to change that.
If you are really unhappy you can change your body shape. lifting weights diet and excercise, A personal trainer will also be able to get you results. Life is too short for this you need to just get on with things. No-one is perfect and everyone should just work to their strengths.

TheCandystripes

check chris masters he has big butt