Fiancée hates my parents, help!

csusm

Hello everyone! Lately, there have been problems in my 8 years relationship with my fiancée. We've dated for 6 years and been engaged for 2 years now. I am 29 and she is 26.

At first, our relationship was doing really well. It started off as a long distant relationship and then she moved in with me while I was in college. She met my parents and they loved her. I really thought she was going to be the one for me for the rest of my life. We lived together in college and after I graduated, I moved back home to save money and look for a job. She came with me.

She was really sweet back then because she would help out with my family's business every night for free doing janitorial work and would go to school during the day. She would help around the house cleaning and helping my mom cook.

One day, my mom asked her if she wanted to marry me. My fiancée’s response was, "no, I don't think I am ready" My mom thought it was disrespectful and began to yell at her saying, then why are you with my son, don't you love him? It was a train wreck that day. It left a bad taste for both parties.

From there it was a snowball effect. My mom began to give her dirty looks and making inappropriate remarks, although my fiancée tried to make things better by help cleaning the house and helping anywhere as much as she could.

My fiancée eventually moved out because her sister was moving and she needed to stay with her older sister. Things didn’t get any better with my fiancée and my mom at this point. They were civil but I knew my parents didn’t like her as much and likewise with my fiancée.

Early 2009, she and her sister moved in with me in my own house and things got worse by the minute. My parents would say to me "why doesn’t she come around anymore?" I don't have a response or excuse.

Now my entire family thinks my fiancée is disrespectful. I feel embarrassed. My sister confronted my fiancée regarding her behavior around my parents but my fiancée rebelled and spoke her mind. My sister didn’t like that at all. It’s a total 180 degree turn at this point. She was loved before and now she’s hated. I guess human nature is to remember the bad things we’ve done and forget about all the good things.

I really don’t want to be with a person if they can’t respect my family and try to be civil with them. She told me that she will never consider my family hers even though we are soon to be married. She doesn’t want kids because she thinks it will make her more attached to my family. She definitely doesn’t want to live with my parents.

I will say that my mom has an awkward personality. She is very controlling. She gives everyone that is not a part of the family dirt looks. She can be very inappropriate with her comments and body language. But she can be the sweetest mom you’ll ever have. She will give all her sons and daughters money at the drop of a hat. She will cook for them any time of the day. But it’s something about my fiancée she doesn’t like about.

Thank you for any advice.

Now my entire family thinks my fiancée is disrespectful. I feel embarrassed

My mom began to give her dirty looks and making inappropriate remarks,

I really don’t want to be with a person if they can’t respect my family and try to be civil with them.

Where have you been in all this? Where were you when your fiancee was being yelled at and asked why she was with you? Your fiancee "rebelled" by speaking her mind when everyone freaked out at her because she said she wasn't ready to marry yet ??! And she tried to make up by cleaning the house etc?
And now you're embarrassed by HER and completely taking your (unreasonable) family's side?
Why should she want to be with you either if you can't respect her?
And why would she want to live with your parents...?

Honestly I know getting caught between family and a partner is like being between a rock and a hard place but I'm really dying to know if you supported your fiancee at all or just took mammy's side unquestioningly?

My parents would say to me "why doesn’t she come around anymore?" I don't have a response or excuse.

How about "because you made it clear she wasn't welcome anymore and she was like an ill-treated unpaid skivvy" ??

WhatWillBee

so let me get this straight.....


1. Your fiancee helped out with cooking and the family business while still going to school in order to make an effort with your family because she loves you.
2. Your mother asked her a question and your fiancee answered honestly
3. Now because your mother didnt like her honest answer to a question your mother should not be that invested in, she completely disrespected and humiliated your girlfriend on a continuing basis by making her feel unwelcome while your girlf tried to restore good relations
5. Then your mother has the nerve to ask why she doesnt come around anymore?
6. And you are saying you dont want to be with someone if they cant respect YOUR family??

Im sorry but you need to cop on here, you are marrying this girl, she is about to become your family and you are already letting people disrespect her. This girl seemed to be making a ton of effort with your family and it got thrown back in her face because she simply said she wasnt ready for marriage yet. Not that she would never be, or has no plans to marry you.

Your mother sounds like a right consequence, whatever about her right to know the answer to that question, she has no right to go off on one if she doesnt like the answer. If you are happy with your girlfriend than she should be too.

Im surprised your now fiancee even got engaged to you after this if you cant even defend her when she plainly did nothing wrong except be honest with your mother and stopped letting them be horrible to her while she tried to fix things.

You have some neck saying she was the one disrespecting your family IMO. If you had any kind of backbone, when your mother flew off the handle at her for nothing, you shouldve said to her, i love her and dont talk to her like that, its none of your business and if you cant make her feel welcome in this house then we wont be over again.

Im not saying you shouldve stopped talking to your mother, but good lord you shouldve put a stop to your family treating your girlfriend in a horrible way when she did nothing wrong.

I know you love your family and just want no confrontations, but one stern word from you when this kicked off wouldve settled this a lot earlier. I feel sorry for your girlfriend, she seemed to try everything to fix this for your behalf.

Sorry if this is harsh, but you need a wake up call, if I was you, Id shape up now, she is soon to be your wife, you better get on her side soon.

How Strange

OP, from what you've posted I feel sorry for your OH and what she has put up with from your family. You've passively allowed your family to treat her awfully.

You need to get this situation sorted. If you're not prepared to stand by your OH, get of the fence and take her side then you need to think about what kind of marriage you'll have. I'd guess it will be miserable with you resenting your OH/wife because your family don't like her while looking at your mother with rose tinted glasses.

Somewhere in the middle is your OH/wife.

Stheno

OP do you both have similiar backgrounds ? I.e. would your fiance expect to be expected to behave as she originally did?

deisemum

I hope your fiancee cops on before it's too late and finds a man with a spine and a pair who will love and respect her, not some prize of a mammy's boy who will allow others to disrespect her and then sides with these mean and spiteful minded people. Jaysus I dread to think what it was like for your fiancee to be living under the same roof as your family and your mother being a bitch to her.

Are you having a laugh saying you don't want to be with someone who cant respect your family and try to be civil to them. Marriage is a big commitment and your fiancee should be thinking "do I want to be with someone for the rest of my life who doesn't respect me and condones his family not being civil to me?"

I wont say love because my view is if you truely love her you wouldn't condone all and sundry in your family abusing and mistreating her, but if you have any feelings for her and want a future with her then if I were you I'd be begging her for her forgiveness and putting her first. After all when you get married you are commiting yourself to putting her first.

Then I'd have a serious talk with your family, you can tell them you still love them but if they love you then they must respect your relationship with your fiancee even if they don't like her and that they are not to disrespect her in future and that if they do then you'll be supporting your fiancee.

TBH mammy's boys don't really change that much and as you're so tied to your mammy's apron strings who likes his mammy to cook his meals and dole out money, wouldn't touch with a barge pole springs to mind.

LegacyUser

Your family sound horrible, absolutely horrible. I can't possibly believe that you're taking their side. By the sounds of it, your fiancee has gone above and beyond anything that was required of her in order to get your family to like her, and they've treated her like dirt. They literally used and abused her. I have no idea why she would possibly have agreed to marry you. I wouldn't touch a guy like you who's so attached to the apron strings that he can't see beyond them.

I really don’t want to be with a person if they can’t respect my family and try to be civil with them.

But you have no problem with your family disrespecting your wife-to-be and making no attempt to be civil to her?

She definitely doesn’t want to live with my parents.

And why would she? I love my OH's parents but there's no way I'd ever live with them if I had a choice - especially if I was married!!

You're looking at this situation completely backwards. Your family is in the wrong, and your fiancée has done nothing to deserve it. You ought to be begging her for forgiveness at this stage, and praying she won't come to her senses and dump you.

omahaid

I'm going to disagree with a lot of previous posters. If she was your wife then you should back her up 100% all the time, but she is not (yet) so don't go alienating your family just yet.

I had a similar problem (not as severe) as you. My family fight like cats and dogs but make up just a quick, my OH's family was the opposite so it was a shock to her . OP, is your family like that? Best thing to do is keep a civil distance and when she is your wife explain to your family that she comes first and they will be cut off if they cannot get on with her.

omahaid

deisemum wrote: »

I hope your fiancee cops on before it's too late and finds a man with a spine and a pair who will love and respect her, not some prize of a mammy's boy who will allow others to disrespect her and then sides with these mean and spiteful minded people. Jaysus I dread to think what it was like for your fiancee to be living under the same roof as your family and your mother being a bitch to her.

This is reckless advice. Be reasonable, should the OP cut off his family for someone who hasn't committed to him?

Carsinian Thau

Of course your fianceé hates your family. They were utterly awful to her.

Your family (and your mother, in particular) owes her a huge apology.

I'm probably not going to give as detailed an answer as other posters because I don't think that any further issues can be resolved until that apology is issued.

omahaid

Carsinian Thau wrote: »

Of course your fianceé hates your family. They were utterly awful to her.

Your family (and your mother, in particular) owes her a huge apology.

I'm probably not going to give as detailed an answer as other posters because I don't think that any further issues can be resolved until that apology is issued.

I would argue that if the OP's fiancee truly loves him then she would apologise. I'm not saying she should but a relationship is about compromise and sacrifice.

deisemum

omahaid wrote: »

This is reckless advice. Be reasonable, should the OP cut off his family for someone who hasn't committed to him?

If they're engaged then that is a commitment. I didn't just say he was to cut off his family, I said "Then I'd have a serious talk with your family, you can tell them you still love them but if they love you then they must respect your relationship with your fiancee even if they don't like her and that they are not to disrespect her in future and that if they do then you'll be supporting your fiancee" and that's the advice relationship counsellors are giving in these type of situations.

Carsinian Thau

omahaid wrote: »

I would argue that if the OP's fiancee truly loves him then she would apologise. I'm not saying she should but a relationship is about compromise and sacrifice.

I would counter that argument with the fact that the OP's mother was bang out of order when she started the whole thing with this:

csusm wrote: »

One day, my mom asked her if she wanted to marry me. My fiancée’s response was, "no, I don't think I am ready" My mom thought it was disrespectful and began to yell at her saying, then why are you with my son, don't you love him? It was a train wreck that day. It left a bad taste for both parties.

From there it was a snowball effect. My mom began to give her dirty looks and making inappropriate remarks, although my fiancée tried to make things better by help cleaning the house and helping anywhere as much as she could.

And that even if she truly loves him, she shouldn't apologise for being subject to such terrible behaviour.

CDfm

It does look like you live in different worlds and cultures. From the composition of your post it does look that Western European culture is not your native culture. I am making the assumption that you are not Irish.

So in one way are you asking your girlfriend to assimilate into a family or culture where she does not know or understand the rules or social norms or want them.

In a way it is not you that your fiancee has the problem with but with the female members of your family. She has not been disrespectful but really said that she will not be subordinate to them in the future. In that way -when she tells you these things is she diplomatically telling you that when (and if you marry) that your home and family will operate differently and that she expects to make her life with you in your home - and where she has a say free from interference from your family.

So in that way - she could be telling you that your mother and sister are being disrespectful and that within your marriage you should be free from their interference especially in matters of the childrens education and upbringing. So in this way she expects to be equal to you in the hierarchy of your marriage and your mother and sister wont have a vote. This is something you will have to support and accept.

What it seems to me is that you have two issues - the first being to establish with you fiancee "the rules" that will apply to your marriage and the second being to act as a buffer against your family especially the females from interfering with your marriage. So your fiancees expectation of you is that you will stand up to them and make it clear to them and her that you will accept no interference and that they are required by you to treat her respectfully.

Wagon

csusm wrote: »

I will say that my mom has an awkward personality. She is very controlling. She gives everyone that is not a part of the family dirt looks. She can be very inappropriate with her comments and body language.

Okay. You can recognise this then.

But she can be the sweetest mom you’ll ever have. She will give all her sons and daughters money at the drop of a hat. She will cook for them any time of the day.

She isn't your fiancée's mother though. She's your mother so what the hell would her treating you well have to do with it? She's a parent, she should be treating you well because that's what parents do!

But it’s something about my fiancée she doesn’t like about.

She doesn't like the fact that she wasn't ready to marry you when she suggested it. Your mother has no business asking a question like that. End of story.

Thank you for any advice.

I don't normally give this kind of advice but i think you need to grow a pair or balls and stop thinking your mother is still in charge. You should stand up for the woman you love and learn the truth that nobody is infallable, especially not family. If you can't manage that then you really shouldn't be in a relationship at all.

Beruthiel

bluewolf and WhatWillBee are spot on with their comments.

csusm wrote: »

I feel embarrassed.

Poor you.

I really don’t want to be with a person if they can’t respect my family and try to be civil with them.

Hang your head in shame.
None of this would have happened if you had grown a pair.
Your mother treated your g/f like a piece of sh!t and you allowed it to happen without saying a word.
Now you're surprised it has come to this?
Give me a break.

She definitely doesn’t want to live with my parents.

I'd rather stick hot pokers in my eyes than live with my partners parents.
You'd be mad to expect her to do that.
Most relationships will start to crack when under the roof of a parents house.
I would never, ever recommend someone to do that.

Apologise to your g/f for not sticking up for her.

martdalto

VERY VERY Long post alert!

Ok, so here goes, I'm, just rehashing what most people onhere have said.. but I'll say it all again, just incase you are in any doubt as to who is at fault here!

csusm wrote: »

8 years relationship with my fiancée....... she is 26.

She is still quite young. You don't mention how long ago this incident happened, but personally I feel it is perfectly acceptable for a young girl to say "I'm not ready yet" when asked if she going to get married.

She met my parents and they loved her.

I really thought she was going to be the one for me for the rest of my life.

She was really sweet back then because she would help out with my family's business every night for free doing janitorial work and would go to school during the day. She would help around the house cleaning and helping my mom cook.

So you were all happy with her for as long as she plodded along and toed the family line? And by the way... what happened next, is by no means her stepping out of that line.. it's her politely asnwering a question that is nobodies business but the 2 people in the relationship

One day, my mom asked her if she wanted to marry me. My fiancée’s response was, "no, I don't think I am ready"

I don't think I'm ready, doesn't mean... NO! I think she may have misunderstood the question, and your mother misinterpreted the answer. Your fiancée may have thought your mother was asking were you getting married soon. When your fiancée answered honestly, all your mother heard "No, I don't want to marry him"... not exactly what your fiancée said was it?!

My mom thought it was disrespectful and began to yell at her

My mom began to give her dirty looks and making inappropriate remarks,

My parents would say to me "why doesn’t she come around anymore?" I don't have a response or excuse.

Now my entire family thinks my fiancée is disrespectful. I feel embarrassed. My sister confronted my fiancée regarding her behavior around my parents but my fiancée rebelled and spoke her mind. My sister didn’t like that at all.

So it's all about YOUR family, and how they feel? Nothing about how your fiancée may feel in all of this.. your fiancée, by the way, who clearly loves you if she still happy to be with you and marry you considering all the sh*t your family put her through

my fiancée tried to make things better by help cleaning the house and helping anywhere as much as she could.

So she tried her best to make up for innocently answering a question, and having abuse hurled at her.. it didn't work, because your entire family are so pigheaded and then....

I really don’t want to be with a person if they can’t respect my family and try to be civil with them.[/quote

But you're quite happy to stick by your beligerent family who show no respect to anyone or won't be civil.. see quote below starting "I will say that my mom has an awkward personality...."

She doesn’t want kids because she thinks it will make her more attached to my family.

That is a huge huge thing for a woman to say.. and the fact that she is STILL prepared to stay with you and try make a go of married life, even though it means that she may never have children, not for any physical reasons, but because she is terrified of your families interference.. that is a HUGE commitment to make to you.

She definitely doesn’t want to live with my parents.

Why would she? All the disrespct from your family aside, why would anyone want to live with their partners parents?

I will say that my mom has an awkward personality. She is very controlling. She gives everyone that is not a part of the family dirt looks. She can be very inappropriate with her comments and body language.

All of this is because of YOUR MOTHER. YOUR MOTHER started the argument, by shouting abuse at your fiancée when she innocently answered a question that she was asked. Then YOUR SISTER got involved, sticking up for your mother, who you admit is not a very nice person to people outside of "the family" (again, see above quote!)

But it’s something about my fiancée she doesn’t like about.

Yes, she doesn't like that your fiancée, is not like the rest of you, who will do/say anything to appease mummy, and make sure she's never even slightly put out. Actually, I'm wrong in that. For a long time your fiancée was like the rest of you and went out of her way to be nice to your family. Then one day she, unwittingly, gave the "wrong" answer to a question.. and this happened.

I feel very very sorry for your fiancée, she clearly loves you. I don't think you love her.

The fact that you "thought" she was the one for you.. means you don't think so anymore and saying she was really sweet "back then". You are talking about her in past, all because she answered a question, with no disrespect that I can see, that your interferring mother had no right to ask.

You and your family should hang your heads in shame. You should be on bended knee to this girl who, by virtue of the fact that she is still with you, loves you with every ounce of her being. You should be begging her to forgive you for blaming her and allowing her to be spken to and about with such disrespect. Your mother should apologise for taken offense at something, that clearly meant no offense. And your sister should apologise for getting involved in something that wasn't her argument to begin with. I don't know how much the rest of your family have gotten involved, but I'm guessing they are all sticking with "the family", and should also apologise to your fiancée for any wrong they have caused her.

You have an absolute treasure of a fiancée there, don't dare let her go just because of your family.

Sorry this was so long... but almost every word of your OP is wrong in relation to the title.

Moomoo1

I think the key thing is that she doesn't want kids (and presumably you do)? that's an unresolvable difference.

seahorse

My God, what an absolute weapon of a mother! Talk about monster-in-laws! If I were you OP I'd be thanking my lucky stars the girl was still prepared to marry me at all.

I have to tell you, there's no way I'd marry a man under these circumstances. NO WAY.

You need to start demanding decent treatment for your partner because if you don’t the writing is on the wall for your marriage before it even begins.

Lollipops23

Moomoo1 wrote: »

I think the key thing is that she doesn't want kids (and presumably you do)? that's an unresolvable difference.

only down to the treatment of her by his family,which i think was horrendous. I'ts one thing to expect her to pull her weight while living with them but it sounds like they treated her like a slave.

I honestly can't imagine what it would take for me to stay with a man whose family treated me like this.

Moomoo1

Lollipops23 wrote: »

only down to the treatment of her by his family,which i think was horrendous. I'ts one thing to expect her to pull her weight while living with them but it sounds like they treated her like a slave.

it doesn't matter what reason it is for, it is still a fact that she doesn't want them

Lollipops23 wrote: »

I honestly can't imagine what it would take for me to stay with a man whose family treated me like this.

two things: 1) you would marry the guy and not the family
2) if you walk away, those people would have 'won'.

seamus

csusm wrote: »

But it’s something about my fiancée she doesn’t like about.

She and your sisters don't like the fact that your fianceé speaks her mind and refuses to become one of their rabble and submit to the queen bee (your mother). I've seen this happen before, particularly with Irish country mammies who rule the roost.

I can't really add much more than what's been said. This girl has put up with a lot of unwarranted crap, has stuck to her principles through it and *still* wants to marry you. You should be on your knees thanking Jeebus for your luck and simultaneously begging her forgiveness for the disrespect you've allowed to be shown to her.

When you marry someone, they become your immediate family. Your parents and your siblings become your extended family, and your immediate family becomes numero uno, priority one. This obviously doesn't happen the day you get married, it happens progessively from the day you make the commitment to be married.

Quit being afraid of your family. They love you and they're stuck with you so you have nothing to lose by being honest and blunt with them. They've treated your wife-to-be like crap and until they see that you need to make no apologies or excuses for your wife and you should be defending her at every turn.

CDfm

seamus wrote: »

Quit being afraid of your family. They love you and they're stuck with you so you have nothing to lose by being honest and blunt with them. They've treated your wife-to-be like crap and until they see that you need to make no apologies or excuses for your wife and you should be defending her at every turn.

+1 100% on the ball here and its your time to stand up.

It could be the best and most liberating thing in your life.

I imagine one reason you like her- your fiancee- is her strenght so why not listen to her a bit more.

humanji

omahaid wrote: »

I would argue that if the OP's fiancee truly loves him then she would apologise. I'm not saying she should but a relationship is about compromise and sacrifice.

Apologise for what?

petethebrick

Your mother sounds like biatch.
She had no right putting your girlfriend on the spot asking her whether she wanted to marry you.
If my mother did that she would get some earful from me!!!

CDfm

omahaid wrote: »

I would argue that if the OP's fiancee truly loves him then she would apologise. I'm not saying she should but a relationship is about compromise and sacrifice.

I totally do not agree here. It does sound that the OP's mother is used to bullying her way thru life and that it seems normal to members of the family.

Other people do not like it and do not feel they should need to accept it.

petethebrick wrote: »

Your mother sounds like biatch.
She had no right putting your girlfriend on the spot asking her whether she wanted to marry you.
If my mother did that she would get some earful from me!!!

Certainly she has no wish to live with your parents -maybe you should get your own home?.

Have you ever heard of the expression "Toxic Parents" you might need to google it.

http://pdfdatabase.com/index.php?q=toxic+parents+read+online

Anyway- the problem does not seem to be your fiancee but your mother and sister.

Its quite common for someone who is bullying to blame the person who wont take that treatment from them. Respect is earned and the lady is respectfull to you - however you need to draw a line and not accept this behavior from your mother.

Taltos

CDfm wrote: »

Its quite common for someone who is bullying to blame the person who wont take that treatment from them. Respect is earned and the lady is respectfull to you - however you need to draw a line and not accept this behavior from your mother.

Agree with this totally. - In my case I physically had to remove my father in-law from our house after he insulted my wife and refused to apologise.

You gotta figure out are you
a) a mommie's (bullied) boy - willing to marry a woman of your mums choosing - btw - this will be a clone.
b) your own man - willing and able to stand up for what is right - respectful treatment of someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Moomoo1

Taltos wrote: »

Agree with this totally. - In my case I physically had to remove my father in-law from our house after he insulted my wife and refused to apologise.

that's a bit much isn't it - resorting to assault over words?

Carsinian Thau

Moomoo1 wrote: »

that's a bit much isn't it - resorting to assault over words?

In the context of the situation, it may have been warrented.

Taltos

Carsinian Thau wrote: »

In the context of the situation, it may have been warrented.

It was.
And there was no assault involved.
I merely opened the door and escorted him out.

No-one - not even family will repeatedly insult my wife or our marriage.

Gawd - think I would faint if I ever did have to hit someone though

OS119

Moomoo1 wrote: »

that's a bit much isn't it - resorting to assault over words?

violence is just another form of communication. F-I-L used one form of communication, Taltos picked another.

words can do just as much damage as a fist, indeed their effects last for far longer than a shiner and a thick lip. if you don't fancy a punch in the face, don't be horrible to people.

i bet it did Taltos's relationship no harm, his wife knew he'd stand up for her, and that he'd not be intimidated by people tryng to push their weight around, and i bet the F-I-L kept a civil tongue in his head!

good result all round. and an on thread demonstration of the principle of the nuclear family: there's you, there's me - and then there's just everyone else...

CDfm

Taltos wrote: »

I
I merely opened the door and escorted him out.

I hope you helped him on with his coat and gave him bus fare too.:D

You are correct -when you are an adult you are responsible for your own happiness. That ancient Irish proverb" fcek off, you're wreckin me buzz" ( translated as " Would you be so kind as to leave as you are having a negative affect on my peace of mind"") puts it very well and I hope you related this piece of wisdom to him.

Darthhoob

erm...the title of this thread really should have been "my parents hate my fiancee, help!"
your fiancee gave a perfectly good answer to your mother's question...yes your mother started yelling and hating her???? no wonder your fiancee doesn;t want anything to do with them now! i woudln;t either! it must be terribly uncomfortable for her. she's even tried to make amends several times by what you have written and been snubbed by your family still.

now...you want to spend your life with this lady? but not prepared to protect her from the vileness of your own family....then it wont work...simple as!

Moomoo1

Carsinian Thau wrote: »

In the context of the situation, it may have been warrented.

I don't think assault is warranted in any sort of situation.

martdalto

Darthhoob wrote: »

erm...the title of this thread really should have been "my parents hate my fiancee, help!"

Yes, but if he titled like that he would be placing blame with his parents, and not his fiancée! I think the OP wants his fiancée to shoulder all the burden of responsibily/guilt in this situation and allow his over-bearing, rude family off the hook.

Op, by blaming your fiancée for this in the title, and for looking for help, you are asking us to advise you the best way to go about getting around your fiancée.. as you can see, that's not the take most people here have of the situation. You have, however, gotten advice on how to get around your family. Stand up to them, stand up for your fiancée. Even if they don't aplogise, then they should assure you that from now on they will not interfere in your relationship, nor will they disrespect your fiancée.

Chinafoot

Moomoo1 wrote: »

I don't think assault is warranted in any sort of situation.

Well then isn't a good thing that nobody here is advocating assault? :rolleyes:

OP I can only repeat whats already been said. Your mother, your sister and, worst of all, YOU have been completely out of order. I am thoroughly appalled that this girl has had to take such poor treatment, stuck by you despite it, and now you have the nerve to question your relationship due to this fictional 'disrespect' you think your girlfriend has shown! That girl either really loves you or has absolutely no self respect.

If you had any love for this girl you'd be making grovelling apologies and telling your darling mother to keep her nose out of things that dont concern her.

Either cut the apron strings or leave your girlfriend.

She deserves a lot better.

MissHoneyBun

OP I've been in your girlfriend's situation and let me tell you, it is not easy. To be treated disrespectfully by people who share the same genes as somebody you love is a very unsettling situation to be in. I was raised in a home where the concept of family always meant being at least, respectful and because of this, I will never reciprocate the disrespect I've been shown. Unfortunately this doesn't make the situation any less hurtful.

Your family's treatment of your girlfriend is appalling and for you to advocate it is shockingly disloyal. If I were you, I'd count myself lucky to still have a relationship to discuss.

DubLass

Untie yourself from Moms apron strings before you are left without a fiance.