Out of gas

coldfire1x

While driving cross-country a man ran out of gas. Walked for a few miles in the rain and came to a house. After banging on the door for 10 minutes he decided to leave, but saw something in the window. There stood a nude couple, the woman squeezing her tits and the man beating his dick with an umbrella.

After watching for a while, the guy wrote them off as loonies and went in the direction of the next house. The neighbors were friendly and helped out in what ever way they could, the guy couldn’t resist describing what he saw in the first house.

The woman laughed and said, “Oh, they carry on that conversation all the time.”

“What do you mean?” asked the puzzled traveler.

“Well you see, they’re a deaf couple. She was asking her husband to go milk the cow and he was saying, “F*ck you bitch, it’s raining!”

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Once in a medieval times…there was a King who was getting sort of bored after dinner one night. He decided to hold a contest of who at the court had the mightiest “weapon”. The first knight stood up and proclaimed that he had the mightiest weapon…he pulled down his pants and tied a 5 pound weight around it. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered…the women swooned…the children waved multi-colored banners…and the band played appropriate music.

Another knight stood up and yelled that he had the mightiest weapon. He dropped his pants and tied a 10 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered…the women swooned…the children waved multi-colored banners… and the band played appropriate music.

After several more knights tried to prove their superiority…the King finally spoke out. “I have the mightiest weapon of them all!” He dropped his pants and tied, not a 10 pound, not a 20 pound, not ever a thirty pound, but a 40 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered…the women swooned…the children waved multi-colored banners…and the band played “God Save the Queen.”

Grudaire

Whenever I see:

coldfire1x wrote: »

“God Save the Queen.”

I always think - F**k the Queen... how appropriate