Love him but can't forget about fling...

LegacyUser

I have been with my boyfriend 5 years now and we get on great, he is my best friend and we've been going out since we were 18. But things were going bad during the summer, he was being a complete asshole but he realised this and everything is much better lately. However, one night during this time I hit it off with a friend of a friend and we ended up spending the most amazing night ever together. The sparks were flying and the sex was amazing, better than anything I've ever had with my boyfriend. We had so much in common and just seemed so on the same level. I never fall for guys so easily.
I never told my boyfriend and never will. I felt so guilty about what happened and I still do, but it feels like I justified in my mind because of the hell my boyfriend put me through over those few months( he just went off the walls on drugs and even when my mam died he was hardly around. V. uncharacteristic of him, he just completely changed). I want things to work with my boyfriend, I love him more than anything, but I just can't get the other guy out of my head. He text me twice in the past few weeks looking to meet me and I ignored it, but that was so hard. The thing is though, the more time goes on the more I think of him and I dream about him nearly every night. I know I will see him over Christmas so that won't be easy! Its driving me mad and I wish it would just go away. I always wonder what things would be like with him, but I can't imagine ever not being with my boyfriend. I don't know what to do, is there anything I can? My mind is all over the place about it, Im just looking for some advice...

Taltos

You have to ask yourself the following

1. Why are you with your boyfriend - honestly now?
2. Will you cheat again? who knows drugs could come back...
3. Why are you thinking about this other man so much? Is it just the sex / excitement / or do you prefer him.

Look - right off I will admit been cheated on so I am already on the other side of the fence here - but... but I think with all this going through your head you need some time to yourself to work through these questions and whatever else is going on.

It is one thing to be attracted to someone else, but quite another to follow through on that - though in your case it is apparent that you needed someone to be there for you and your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.

So take some time - maybe make up some excuses but think carefully what you want, and if your boyfriend will be there for you next time you need him...

Wibbs

I agree with Taltos. I would reckon number one in that list is the one you really need to answer.

Wagon

xxCORKFTWxx wrote: »

However, one night during this time I hit it off with a friend of a friend and we ended up spending the most amazing night ever together.

This is bad. So is this...

The sparks were flying and the sex was amazing, better than anything I've ever had with my boyfriend. We had so much in common and just seemed so on the same level. I never fall for guys so easily.

See, there's something that doesn't seem right with this. your boyfriend was on drugs and was not there for you, no excuse for that because you needed something to help you...but you seemed to find it in having sex with some other bloke. It didn't really take a lot to fill the gap.

I never told my boyfriend and never will. I felt so guilty about what happened and I still do, but it feels like I justified in my mind because of the hell my boyfriend put me through over those few months( he just went off the walls on drugs and even when my mam died he was hardly around. V. uncharacteristic of him, he just completely changed).

Right, but you should have broken up with him because if it was that much hell, then you shouldn't have stayed with him. I think you might be more staying with him because you are afraid of not having the emotional support from him. Since he got himself sorted, he now is giving you that and you don't want to lose it. When you wearn't getting that from him, you were happy to cheat on him.

I want things to work with my boyfriend, I love him more than anything, but I just can't get the other guy out of my head.

Sorry but that isn't true. If you loved him more than anything you wouldn't have cheated on him.

He text me twice in the past few weeks looking to meet me and I ignored it, but that was so hard.

I don't care what you say about this loving your boyfriend more than anything, the fact is that a one night stand with some randomer resulted in better sex and more of a connection than it ever has with your boyfriend over the course of 5 years. Tell him about the cheating, and let him decide what he wants to do.

magneticimpulse

doesnt sound like you should be with your current boyfriend. he wasnt there for you and you had a great time with someone else.

key in relationships is trust and honesty...you have already broken these rules. i think if people have any sort of cheating, be it one night stand or more they should either be honest with the person or leave them

drugs is an addiction and from past experience, i know they keep popping up and no matter how much you love a person or they want to stop or change its very difficult. most likely this addiction could pop up again.

if you had such an amazing time with your fling, why not break up with your boyfriend and give it a go with your fling??

why stay in a loveless relationship? with someone who wasnt there for you when you needed them most when your mam died? (still doesnt justify cheating, thats just revenge)