I'm pregnant

extremelyscared

I found out yesterday that I am pregnant..around 6/7weeks. I am in my final year at college and I intended to go onto train after June to gain professional qulaifications.

I have been in a relationship for the past year and a half. My bf and I have wen through afew rough patchs but recently we had worked all that out and things were going unbelievably well. We hope to go to Australia next sept for a year to do a bit of travelling.

Can anyone offer me advice in relation to an abortion? Someone who has gone through this perhaps?

Thanks

Nevyn

If you are considering an abortion and then your first step is to make an appointment for crises pregnancy couselling and the counsellor will talk through the issues with you and then give you information and a referal to a clinic, in usually the uk.

http://www.positiveoptions.ie/abortion_and_the_law/

ABORTION AND THE LAW

Abortion is illegal in Ireland except where there is a real and substantial risk to the life of the mother. This includes the risk of suicide.

Is it legal for a woman to travel outside Ireland to have an abortion?
Yes. A woman has the right to travel abroad for the purposes of obtaining an abortion.

Is it legal for a crisis pregnancy counsellor to discuss abortion with a woman?
Yes. It has always been permissible to discuss abortion with a pregnant woman. If requested, all of the services listed on this website will discuss abortion during a crisis pregnancy counselling session. What is regulated by law is the provision of information on abortion services outside Ireland.

Is it legal for a woman to be given contact information on abortion services outside Ireland?
Yes, such information may be given subject to certain conditions. Abortion information can only be provided directly to a pregnant woman, if requested by her as part of the counselling process. Abortion information can be given by:

* Crisis pregnancy counselling agencies.
* Individual counsellors giving crisis pregnancy support.
* GPs and other doctors.

If requested, all of the organisations listed on this website except CURA and Life, will give contact details for abortion clinics in a pregnancy counselling session.

Before the counselling session begins the crisis pregnancy counsellor should tell you what they are able to provide or discuss during the session. If you feel the agency is not meeting your counselling or information needs you should make another appointment with an alternative crisis pregnancy counselling service.

http://www.reproductivechoices.ie/Women%27s_services/Abortion_information/Abortion_questions_and_answers/Abortion_information.aspx


Abortion_information/Myths_about_abortion.aspx

RossFixxxed

I can't really add to the above. Just emphasise go to the councellor first, and make up your mind, and be sure really. It is your choice and entirely up to you. I'm going to get in trouble for this: but he can do a legger if he wants. you can't. (He may be the best guy in the world I'm not judging here at all)

Don't forget there are options: adoption, abortion, having the baby etc... But ultimately it rests on you and what YOU want. Again I might get into trouble, ignore OTHERS morals on this and listen to you own. Good luck OP

Thaedydal gave good advice there.. The abortion option should be considered.

My friend got all the way to the clinic in England and backed out of it when she was 19. Now she has a 20 month old baby that she loves to bits but the boyfriend of 4-5 years is long gone and she's left on her own. It's not ideal.

LegacyUser

I was 18 when I had my abortion.
We had been seen each other for over a year, I was in college and I didn't want to drop out and have a kid and if I continued the pregnancy I knew my parents would object to their first grand child being put up for adoption.

We went for the crises pregnancy counseling and after talking it out and that it was what we/I wanted a referral was made to a BPAS clinic in London. By the time I knew I was preggers and the appointment was made and the flights booked I had started morning sickness and was throwing up 3 times a day.

I was miserable felt trapped in a nightmare which I couldn't tell people about and could not get away from being pregnant. I was sore, my body felt strange, I knew I did want to have kids some day but not then and I would go for walks to cry on my own so I didn't have to tell anyone what had me so sad.

We flew over the day before the abortion was scheduled it was a morning flight and there were 2 other young women on it looking pale and miserable, they also got the same train and we saw them in the clinic when I arrived for the first appointment where they went
over what would happen took details and blood samples and I had to have an ultrasound
so they new where they were going the next day. They did not have the speaker on for a heartbeat if there was one.

I was having my first pregnancy related ultrasound and I wasn't getting a picture to show to everyone that was hard.

The next day I was in early after staying in a B&B down the road from the clinic which was used to clients using the place, I had fasted over night, they check with me that it was what I wanted and I was in a surgical gown and on a trolly by 10:15am, I was given a general anesthetic and I remember the clock reading 10:23am and then I was out.

I woke up about an hour later in a ward and was told everything went well.
I felt sore and crampy and I was given antibiotics. I had known to bring always extra with me. I was kept and checked on in the clinic, with my blood pressure checked and then
discharged later and I went back to the B&B to cry and sleep and cry and sleep.

I had wanted to get all my crying done over there as I knew when I came home I would not be as free to do so and thats why I stayed a second night and then came home.
Family tought I had been shopping for the weekend and I had to go shopping to bring something back but I never kept anything I bought that weekend.

5 weeks after wards I had very bad cramping and pain, it was my first period after the abortion and it had me in bed for two days and crying and all over the place.

Months later seeing expectant mothers who would have been the same as me if I hadn't of had the abortion was hard and then seeing small babies which were born around the date I would have been due was also hard and so was the anti choice people with their placards.

He was really helpful through it all but the relationship ended two years later, I think it may have ended sooner but we clung together with what we had endured.

I knew it was the right choice, I went on to meet someone wonderful and now have two children but the first year after wards was difficult. There were times I forgot about being sad and the joy of life would just rush over me and I'd be roaring laughing and then I'd remember how miserable I had been and get all sad again but it passed.
Harsh remarks which people made about abortion and the type of women who have abortions years later stung me but the taboo kept me quiet.

I was able to complete college and make a better life for me and the children I did have
and I don't regret that.


Be kind to yourself if you need help afterward there is counseling so that you have someone to talk to if you find yourself on an emotional roller coaster and please if you do have an abortion do have your 6 week check up to make sure everything is going back to normal afterwards.

It's ok to be scared, its normal and you have to do what is right for you and what you can live with. But it's not an easy thing to do esp having grown up and living in this country
I wish you well what ever you decide to do either way the next year will be bitter sweet.

LegacyUser

was 19.
in second year in college and with my boyfriend 2 years. knew straightaway that a wasnt going to go through with pregnancy. even though im adopted myself i i knew i wouldnt part with a baby after carrying it or 9 months.
i told my mam and although she wasnt happy, she supported my decision, boyfriend said the same thing.
rang marie stopes and got appointment in dublin. they organised procedure in london. i left in the morning and returned that evening. wasnt knocked out but given tranquilisers or something.
best piece of advice i was given was from a relative who said 'make your decision based on your situation now and not how you think you will feel in a few years.'
6 years on and im still with same boyfriend, engaged actually, qualified and got a job. we went travelling to australia last year. im not saying i couldnt have done this with a baby but i want to have children when im good and ready. it was for my own purely selfish reasons but i dont regret my decision. i didnt go to counselling before or after although i was given the option to.
i guess im just writing this to say, life does go on and deep down you will know yourself what decision you want to make

extremelyscared

thanks to everyone. i went to my health unit in college today..they told me to go off and think about it for a week.

I am anxious to find out how far exactly i am gone?Today she just calculated it from the first day of my last period. Can anyone tell me exactly how this is calculated?

Thanks

p.s last reply really has helped me. Situation seems very similar.

Nevyn

They work of the first day of your last period to calculate it, so if the first day of your last period was 6 weeks 3 days ago then it is said you are 6 weeks 3 days pregant.

There is a calculator for it here:
http://www.bpas.org/bpaswoman.php?page=63

seacláid-te

Best of luck with whatever decision you make, my heart goes out to you, its such a traumatizing experience when you're young and not expecting it! Do think through all your options thou