Is this the wall I'm hitting...

Soul Stretcher

I hope this ranks as a Personal Issue. It's an issue to me anyway. Could be important...

30 yr old over-educated (I mean spent too long in college) single man in a job which is just a job (which I am grateful for in this economy).

Went to see a Life Coach last Spring. Determined that in an ideal world I would love to be a film-maker/documentary-maker.

Did an Introduction to Film-making course and participated (did the Lighting) in the making of a short film.

Have no shortage of ideas for future short films. I want to enter scripts into Scriptwriting competitions to get funding to make them. I have one 4 minute script completed and have the bones written down of a 15 to 20 minute script. I feel so alive pulling out stuff from the world in and around me and shaping it into ways to communicate feelings - particularly uplifting feelings.

I even wouldn't mind making them on a little-to-no-budget basis if I could get volunteer crew and equipment cheaply.

What's stopping me ? A debilitating lack of belief in myself. Procrastination. A "do you really think you could make it as a film-maker ? Yeah...right !! : self dialogue.

I've seen Robert Rodriquez on YouTube saying you can learn film-making in 10 minutes. Borrow some equipment, shoot your film and edit it on your home PC. Ta Da. Mission accomplished.

Yet... deep down or maybe not deep down... but my default self-dialogue is that I am a helper and not a leader or a man of action.

I want to be a man of action. I want to bring the films I have in my head to life.

Please help/advise me how to get the confidence to do so.

Thank you.

Sorry if this post seems muchado about nothing... but what I'm wondering is how do I internalize the belief that, yes, I am a film-maker and give myself permission to follow that Light wholeheartedly...

Fiend-Foe

Its unlikely that any films you make at first will make any profit, or much profit. Thats just the way it is.

So, treat it as a hobby at first. Do it for fun. Get experience, build confidence and take it from there. Its not life or death, just something you do in your spare time.

As for volunteer crew, I'm sure more than a few here on boards would be into doing something like that and lend a hand. Hell I know I would, drop me a PM if you get anything together.

waitinforatrain

You're living in your head. Perhaps it's fear of failure. We all do it to some extent.

The key is to stop thinking about it. Premeditation builds obstacles and puts you in a fantasy world. You just have to do it.

Just remember that if you could be doing it RIGHT NOW and you're just sitting there thinking about it, then you're living in a fantasy world. You enjoy the idea of it better than you enjoy the thing itself, and the mind takes the path of least resistance.

There is no such thing as 'I'll do it later', you have to find the joy of doing it moment to moment, right now, without lust of result (concern for the outcome or the fruits of your actions).

If you can't find joy in doing it, then you will resist it. If there is no joy in doing it for you, then it is not your true purpose, and you must let it go.

Soul Stretcher

Thanks a million ! I realize that networking with others interested in film-making is really important - I would love to help out with other people's projects too..

There is no money to be made in short films. I accept that.

But that doesn't deter me. The big money/glamorous side of it is not my motivation.

A good film well made is my motivation. A film I and others can enjoy and get something from.

At the moment I'm into Short Films because I want every scene to count and mean something... the Vodka shot as opposed to the pint of Guinness. I want to get my point across in a smooth and powerful way - in as few minutes as possible...

Thats it..

I am working on being debt-free by next April. So my only major expense will be Rent. Thus freeing me up to live within my means entirely on an average wage and do this in my free time.

I would love to be working full-time at it by the time I'm 35 (I'm 30 now).

I just wish I could convince myself that is possible.

WaitingforaTrain - just read your post. Thx. You've hit the nail on the head. My problem is that living in my head has become habitual for me - in a lot of areas of my life - even with girls etc. I really want to break out. I'm sure there will be aspects of film-making that I won't like. But I know I will love the process of having an idea, writing a script, planning the shoot, soldiering through the problems and crap that arise on the shoot, breathing after shoot, editing and moving on to the next...

waitinforatrain

Soul Stretcher wrote: »

WaitingforaTrain - just read your post. Thx. You've hit the nail on the head. My problem is that living in my head has become habitual for me - in a lot of areas of my life - even with girls etc. I really want to break out. I'm sure there will be aspects of film-making that I won't like. But I know I will love the process of having an idea, writing a script, planning the shoot, soldiering through the problems and crap that arise on the shoot, breathing after shoot, editing and moving on to the next...

I wasn't suggesting it would be all fun I don't think it's the hard work you're afraid of, just that it won't live up to your expectations. I too live in my head far too much, but that knowledge of knowing when I'm lying to myself has been my best asset, I think it's just something that needs to be worked on. Good luck

Edit: Just noticed the line "I just wish I could convince myself that is possible.". I have a quick recommendation. There's a whole little area to do with changing beliefs. If you're interested check out Visual Magick - The art of Freestyle Shamanism (ignore the title ). At first glance it's a very strange looking book, but after a bit of consideration you'll see it's no more strange than NLP or Self-Hypnosis, and has to do with influencing your subconscious mind to create or remove beliefs

Soul Stretcher

Thx WaitingforaTrain.. I'll look that book up !:)

LegacyUser

I have been in your shoes.

Try and seperate the action (starting the film) from the emotion/feeling (fear/worry).

I have been doing this over the last couple of days.

I figured out that when I thought about tackling a task, I would feel a bit fearful (anxious) and would avoid it.

I then asked myself "what's the task?" - grand, I know what it is. There's fear there too. Fine. I then imagined seperating them and then focussing on the task.

Sounds a bit ridiculous I know but it's working for me.

As for film stuff, check out crewger.ie for people in the same boat as you

LegacyUser

Soul Stretcher wrote: »

Thanks a million ! I realize that networking with others interested in film-making is really important - I would love to help out with other people's projects too.

Re Networking -You might find http://www.filmmakersnetwork.ie/forums/index.php of interest/help

Soul Stretcher

Thanks for the great links and the idea about separating task from emotion.

I've gonna try and allocate 2 hrs a day to my scriptwriting/film education. At night when I finish work - I work evenings.

I think getting into a routine would be great. I also want to keep other interests going too.