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How do I deal with this

  • 28-11-2009 7:41pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I was once very close to someone but he threatened to commit suicide on more than one occassion and blamed me. It's taken me a long time to realise it wasn't my fault, although it's hard sometimes. He occassionally tries to make contact with me but I get too upset with idea of seeing him. I've recently started seeing someone. I'm finding it hard to trust people and my natural instinct is to run and hide because I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to hurt this new guy by constantly pushing him away but don't want to dump all my problems on him as we have only being going out for a while. So what should I do?


Comments

  • #2
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    OP - I had a very close friend who is quite similar. I hadn't heard from her for 2 years until last week. I took her call and was the worst in the world.I had to be cold.

    You are not respnsible for this persons behavior and there is no blame attached to you and you feel conflicted. Its like a kid telling a teacher X made me do it and the teacher tells them no its your fault you picked up the rock that broke the window.

    Your friend with the suicide has doctors and family etc and you are not responsible for their actions. So you havent thrown the rocks so the guilt is not yours. So you have to let them go.

    You shouldnt take this problem into your new relationship. So its up to you.If this person is negative and is having a negative point effect on the important relationship in your life then they are asking too much of you. So you are well within your rights blocking them out of your life. Not your problem.

    Go after your relationship -off you go.


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