What does rebound mean?

lynsalot

Hey guys, looking for some advice here

I've recently gotten separated and I might add the past year and a half haven't been happy in my marriage. We've practically lived separate lives. Hubby was always away from home and I spent most weekends on my own. Came to a head and turned out he didn't want to be married anymore (I wasn't surprised and kinda relieved a decision was made as things weren't going well)

Anyway since then, I've met someone else. A younger guy (4 yrs younger and I'm only mid - late 20s) We get on very well and I wasn't blown off my feet at first. He's more grown on me... i'm clearly being cautious because of the last one. Anyway it's been 2 months now and we are getting on well and still just seeing each other... nothing official. Things were done kinda back to front. We went out one night and got wasted and slept together. Both of us have very little memory of it and it freaked both of us out because he's only single 8 months from a very long relationship where she broke his heart. So he's being very cautious too. He's told me he feels scared he's trusting someone as he thought he wouldn't be able to. I feel a bit weird because I got burnt. I like this guy he's very sweet, caring and respectful towards me (Which is very important to me right now)

I've mentioned his age because i'm used to a man whose older and takes care of me... this new guy makes me feel secure but i'm worried its the familiarity and it might be a rebound thing. I don't know my own mind at the moment. I don't want to hurt him because he's a fantastic guy... and deserves to be treated well.

He knows my situation and said I can have as much time as I want. I know he's falling for me and while I like him, I don't know where it will go... should I just enjoy it and go with the flow (As he keeps telling me) or break it off and be single until I'm ready to get into something new with my whole heart. I don't want all these issues in a new relationship..... that being said I keep thinking about him and want to hear from him and he's a fantastic kisser hehe

Ideally I'd like to have met him a little later as it's quite soon since my last relationship. I'm not in love with my ex anymore but I certainly have trust issues etc from it.

I'd appreciate your advice. Thanks for reading

Moomoo1

I don't think it's fair to someone to say 'I will break it off so you don't get hurt'. He isn't a child, he realises the risk he is taking by investing his feelings into the relationship, if he is happy to continue knowing that you still have those trust issues, then that's the chance he is taking.

So I would say, just go with the flow. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

lynsalot

Thanks Moomoo

Wibbs

For me anyway I would call a rebound any relationship that is started while the other is emotionally in play, or there exists unfinished emotional business. So that there are three in the relationship, even if only in mind.

I could be way off but this doesn't sound like one of those situations. Yes you have residual trust concerns from the previous relationship(as does he it seems), but that is to be expected all things considered. IMHO its not something that should preclude this new phase in your life.

Go for it, take it easy as you have been and you never know how it will turn out. Oh yea and good luck:)