Anxious Other Half

LegacyUser

In a relationship for 6 years with a great, kind person. I have an anxiety issue, worry all the time about everything!, cant sleep at times just thinking about how disappointed I am with myself, how little I have done with my life..feel sick about it .Feel bad about myself a lot. OH doesnt realise just how much I feel like this. Im 29

I over think everything. Think ive been a little like this since I was a teen. I want to change my life but OH is happy with theirs.

I got therapy before,(for a phobia though) OH knows this. .was taking anxiety med for last year..they dont know this...Its come to head now I just want to be happy

how much should you share in a relationship? If you feel there are some of your own issues you need to sort out, surely its fine to do that discreetly without the person knowing in depth about it all? Should a person be single when doing this?

or Is it being dishonest? or just sparing them the hassle of having to know these things? For a relationship to work should you be knowing everything?
I overthink things
Apologies if this post does not make much sense

Oryx

Your post is a fine example of your overthinking, and I do mean that kindly. You are with a great, kind person. You need to be open with them to whatever degree you need, without worrying about their reaction. Whatever that reaction is, you worry about it only when it happens. And it most likely will be positive.

I do get your concern that you dont want to burden someone with your issues, but if the shoe was on the other foot, wouldnt you be happy for your oh to share his woes with you?

I think on balance that being open is better than keeping your issues to yourself, not because its dishonest to, but because the person you share your life with will notice your moods and state of mind anyway, and deserves to know that you are dealing with something even if you dont feel able to share the details.

LegacyUser

Please share your feelings with your girlfriend. I have just come out of a 6 year relationship where my ex had all kinds of worries and anxieties (of a similar nature to yours) that I didn't know about. By the time he finally talked to me he had blown everything out of proportion in his head and I really think if I had been aware of his feelings sooner I might have been able to ease his mind, or would at least have dealt with some things differently.

As a result we've broken up over issues that I really think we could have resolved. They weren't even particularly about our relationship, he just kept everything so bottled up that he had no perspective and couldn't really see a future. When he finally talked to me, I was hurt and disappointed that he hadn't been open with me. I really tried to help but it was too late.

Please talk to her. Six years is a long time, it's obviously a serious relationship and she would want to know how you are feeling. I know you are dealing with it yourself but after 6 years, you're part of a team and shouldn't have to face things like this by yourself. I'm devastated at how things have turned out for me and wish he had opened up sooner.

LegacyUser

Hi me here again thanks for yer advice, its all good advice
I just cant really see myself talking to them about this we've had similar talks and been told basically to cop on...which is good advice too I guess