housemates???

LegacyUser

So a new housemate moved in a few weeks ago... we kissed on a drunken night out and slept in the same bed but didn't go any further. We discussed how it would only end badly if we repeated that and better to just leave it as a once-off. Only thing is now I think I'm starting to fancy him... oh dear! What to do??

How Soon Is Now

Maybe he only said that cause he heard you saying it and wanted to agree with you not my things awkward ??

I guess see how the two of yous are together for bit longer and maybe talk to him then .

ash23

Ah the old house mate dilemna.
This happened to me twice. First time was a disaster! We went out for a couple of months and it ended, he had to move out, the rest of the house were annoyed at me as the guy who moved in, in his place was an idiot and that was my fault apparantly. I ended up moving out shortly after and never spoke to any of them again

Second time I was a bit more wary. We did the "we shouldn't, we won't", nights out ended in the same bed, not even kissing. Nights in ended up holding hands on the sofa, still not kissing. We went on non dates, out for drinks, dinner, to the cinema all as "friends" for about a year but when I moved out we got together and we were together for 6 years.


So go for it, just agree who's going to move out if it all goes tits up!

magneticimpulse

very bad idea. nothing worse then sharing a house and then your housemates get together. my housemates got together and i found it the most creepy thing ever. they were so not suited for each other but i think because they lived in the same house they thought they would hook up. i think the housemate situation makes your judgement bad as to whether you would really go out with this person if you never lived with them?? they are just there, but it doesnt mean that them being available is a reason to sleep with them. really if its this awkward now i dont think its meant to be!! plus you will have to move out if it goes tits up. sounds like a disaster to go ahead with it.

i also remember i had 2 housemates that got together. anyway it didnt last and he went out wit someone else while the girl had to watch. she was so pissed off. he would even make horrible comments to her, like you should not be in your bikini in the house as you might upset my new girlfriend. she knows we had a thing and it upsets her....etc etc. its definitely a no go. ive shared with 20 people over time (in 5 different houses). i always saw this happening and it never had a good outcome

LegacyUser

OP here- Thanks for the advice guys. I suppose I know in my heart it would be a bad idea but I'm definitely starting to like him more and more. I don't want it to become an issue so any tips on the best way to handle this? I don't want to move, in fairness, that would be nuts if is was just because of fancying someone!! Is the best thing just to avoid spending time with him?

magneticimpulse

yeah best if you spend as little time as possible together. get out and join clubs, sport. meetup.com is good for meeting new people. i think as soon as you spend less time together your head will be able to think more clearly. ive always been the fellow housemate who saw these things happen and it always turned ugly. i felt really bad for the later housemate who was treated so badly by her ex (my other housemate) when he got a new girlfriend. plus the other housemates have to suffer when theres an arguement and its really not possible to take sides which just leaves tension in the house and most likely its the girl thats painted as the evil one for disrupting the harmony in the house.

really get out there, meet new people, have girly nights out and im sure you will completely forget about him. im sure its just because he is available and there rather than the fact you truly like him. like you say you just fancy him. better to do you own thing