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I don't know...

  • 26-11-2009 5:22pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi everyone,

    i would love some opinions on my situation. i am 21, and have been with my boyfriend for the last 4 years. Or should I say ex-boyfriend. We had been having some fights. They mainly centered around me wanting to see him more, and him thinking that by me expressing this I was trying to make him give up other parts of his life for me (his family, friends etc.). Each time it happened there'd be a fight, and two weeks ago, he flipped and dumped me. With a text message, giving me the "better off as friends" line.

    Naturally I was devastated. Then it came to light that apparently he wasnt thinking when he did it. That he wants me back. At this stage I had time to calm down and rationalise that perhaps the relationship was over, although it'd make me very sad.

    I have been with him all throughout my last school years, and college years. I know nothing else I guess you could say. And I thought well its going to be incredibly difficult, but now I will have no one to answer to, I can experience life a bit and all that.

    I'm thinking ahead to Christmas - all that spare time. Who will I have to spend that with? Nobody. But if I get back together with him, I am practicaly telling him that it was ok for him to dump me, and basically having to keep my mouth shut about wanting more from him. Also giving up the freedom that I am now thinking that I could have.

    He is unemployed at the moment and I guess in a really bad place, so I do have some sympathy for him. Plus he is also my best friend. Or was, I'm not sure.

    Im sorry, I think this post is all over the place.

    I really dont know if anyone can possibly give me advice, but i feel at least better that ive got it outside of me.


Comments

  • #2
    Moomoo1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,960 ✭✭✭Moomoo1


    all the cards are in your hand really. You can tell him that if you do get back together then he'll have to spend more time with you. I personally think that it's a very reasonable thing to ask anyway (to see more of each other).

    whether you are better off with or without him - I don't think anyone can tell you that, except you yourself.


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