Scum on bikes

bakkiesbotha

You know when you see a shifty knacker slowly cycling around your area? You just know that he is up to no good, and is on the lookout for opportunities to rob something or someone.

You want to tell him to get the **** away from your neighborhood, or beat the **** out of him, or call the cops, but you don't have any real justification for doing any of the above.

So what do you do?

Cookie_Monster

move somewhere nicer

Buceph

Post about it on the internet. Everywhere I can.

bakkiesbotha

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

move somewhere nicer

Say you already live somewhere nice which is why these guys stand out so much?

Cookie_Monster

bakkiesbotha wrote: »

Say you already live somewhere nice which is why these guys stand out so much?

move somewhere nicer (with gates)

Elba101

Follow them around on your own bike

twinytwo

bakkiesbotha wrote: »

You know when you see a shifty knacker slowly cycling around your area? You just know that he is up to no good, and is on the lookout for opportunities to rob something or someone.

You want to tell him to get the **** away from your neighborhood, or beat the **** out of him, or call the cops, but you don't have any real justification for doing any of the above.

So what do you do?

walk towards him as he goes by u stick out ur arm and clothes line him... then pick up his bike and leg it

GLaDOS

RPG

aaronjumper

Invite your friends over so that
you outnumber them.

Or try to ignore them.

polyfusion

Pretend you're taking photos of your front garden or your car, when he just happens to be in the background.

You might have a pothole problem if you use the RPG - nice idea though.

cosmic

Pour a load of thumbtacks all over the road (Wylie Coyote style) in anticipation of his arrival and laugh from behind your net curtains as he punctures his tyres!

Wazdakka

1.)Carry a stick..

2.)While said scumbag is cycling past insert stick firmly into his bicycle's front wheel spokes.

3.)Place bets with your friends about how far said scumbag will travel, what injuries he will sustain ect..

4.) Use backup stick to avoid repurcussions from said Scumbag and his "Matesssssss"

5.) Profit..

SEPT 23 1989

Sit in the basket on the front of his bike with a white blanket over your head and tell him you want to phone home

goodlad

twinytwo wrote: »

walk towards him as he goes by u stick out ur arm and clothes line him... then pick up his bike and leg it

The image in my mind of that is hilarious.
Im slightly broken with laughter now..... bastard!

Danbo!

Is there anything to be said for having another mass?

cosmic

polyfusion wrote: »

Pretend you're taking photos of your front garden or your car, when he just happens to be in the background.

Why would he want to do this? To frame the photo and put it on his mantle piece? I'm sure having to look at him outside is bad enough!

polyfusion

cosmic wrote: »

Why would he want to do this? To frame the photo and put it on his mantle piece? I'm sure having to look at him outside is bad enough!

If the scum thinks he may be on film/SD card, he might think twice about robbing in that area. No?

jimmycrackcorm

The first thing I'd do is label the guy with a stereotype.

cosmic

polyfusion wrote: »

If the scum thinks he may be on film/SD card, he might think twice about robbing in that area. No?

Or he might think "that's a nice camera, I'll be sure to nick that next time round"

funk-you

bakkiesbotha wrote: »

You know when you see a shifty knacker slowly cycling around your area? You just know that he is up to no good, and is on the lookout for opportunities to rob something or someone.

You want to tell him to get the **** away from your neighborhood, or beat the **** out of him, or call the cops, but you don't have any real justification for doing any of the above.

So what do you do?

And he's the scumbag...?

-Funk

projectmayhem

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

The first thing I'd do is label the guy with a stereotype.

Then post about him on an internet forum.

Pace2008

Jesus, what doesn't make you a scumbag these days?

stovelid

Burst into tears and then join a gym.

DonkeyStyle \o/

He's probably just looking to make a new friend. Say hi next time.

Hercule

If you can, drive up behind them and accelerate aggressively, dont pass them out, just get right up behind them and make sure your engine is revving as loudly as possible. If they swerve to let you past slow down and repeat the process - eventually they will pull off the road and get off their bike. From then on they will be afraid to cycle around you area cus the drivers are mad bastards.

Cuddlesworth

Run him over in a large car, reverse back over the body before driving back over the body. Repeat a few times. Then claim you were asleep, get a rag of a newspaper to write up a story about it and come away from the whole things with more money and one less scumbag on the streets.

AnonoBoy

Join a club or society? Travel?

Ask for your bike back politely?

reillyj18

get cctv for your house and let the neighbours worry about themselfs..

SV

Pace2008 wrote: »

Jesus, what doesn't make you a scumbag these days?

You should wear a suit and look important all the time and NEVER EVER walk outside without having somewhere to go immediately.

Although they may then think you're a banker..which might be worse.

GavRedKing

Build a great wall around your area, no bikes and scum to worry about, I hear the Chinese did something a few years back, worked well for them.