Done with the misery now time for rebuilding!!!

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

I'm one of the usual stories broke up with my boyfriend over a month now, i've done the crying, begging, pleading, denial, general "my life is over" scenerio.

Now i'm in defiant mood and want to re-build myself again, i'm no longer a "we" anymore i am a "me".

Just wondering if anyone has ideas for meeting new people, starting new hobbies, what is the best way to find this me person again?!

Any ideas welcome
Thanks....

Cinnomen

Well done you for taking the realization that its time to move on and be you!!
I hope you have a fab time finding time for you at last! Im sorry I havent got many idea's of hobbies but im sure the wonderful other members on here will be able to help, I just wanted to say you should be proud of yourself being strong xxx

phic

First off, yay for you deciding to take control and do the rebuilding thing!
To be honest, its hard to suggest things to do when I don't know anything about you, but you should have a think about things you wanted to do, but didnt have time for when you were with your ex?
It might have been travelling, taking up an evening class, exploring a hobby more, even just seeing old friends?Well now is the time to do those things!

Also, I know it's a cliche but a mini-makeover like a new haircut or some new clothes can work wonders for making you feel like a whole new person!
Good luck!

CDfm

Its a cool time for doing it at Christmas, why not start by just contacting friends and going out with them, dont over analyse.

A mini makeover is no harm.

If there is someone you like at work or wherever who is available then ask them out, they may say no but its the art of acting single that makes the break.

LegacyUser

Hi OP here again!

Thanks for your replys, and i am proud of myself for finally getting out of that hole, i just hope this mood lasts!!

It's amazing how much free time you have for yourself when you dont have someone else to worry about, now i need someting to fill this time with!!!

I was thinking about the whole travelling thing, i would love to to do a solo trip somewhere, how wise is it for a 23 newly single girl to be travelling the world ?!! Has anyone here done anything like that?

Moving back with the parents and losing my job hasnt helped much!

As for my friends they've been great but the majority have boyfriends, i dont want to be the pity friend they have to look after!

Thanks again!!!
Watching Maury in the morning, my life is great !!!

krudler

Holiday, if its an option, it really is the best way to get over someone, get to another country, meet new people, have an adventure, hell go by yourself if it'll mean you can talk to strangers and have new expriences

Partizan

OP, if you are in a position to travel, off you go. I have known of a few people who went off travelling on their own and had a great time meeting others.

I know its a well known cliché but get out there and join clubs and a gym. Improve yourself and rebuild. What interests do you have? If you like football, join a football club etc.

Finally, set up an account and PM me

LegacyUser

OP here.

I have 2 grand to play around with, so i think a holiday of some sort will be in order in the new year. Any place reccomendations?

As for myself, i enjoy learning new things, i think maybe an evening course of something or another would be great.

On a seperate note, for about 2 weeks after the break-up, there was no contact at all on his part but now there is a steady stream of texts and some phone calls. Since i caused the break-up, i feel i should be grateful of this. He says he still loves me and cares about me and maybe in a couple of months when i sort myself out, he could see us together again. Now i'm just confused, i do like talking to him as i miss my bestfriend. Is it possible to do the mature thing and stay friends after a break-up?


Partizan cheeky :P!!!

Moomoo1

unreg86 wrote: »

Now i'm just confused, i do like talking to him as i miss my bestfriend. Is it possible to do the mature thing and stay friends after a break-up?

with such strong feelings on both sides, not very likely. Would you be friends with a new girlfriend of his for instance?

starttheend

Personal opinion being friend's with exes is next to impossible, especially in the short term, too many feelings and emotions involved. You seem fairly set on starting a new life, having your ex still in it right now will make this much harder. Long term, who knows, depends on the people, personally can't do it, but know plenty of people who eventually became good friends after breaking up, it is very difficult however.

P.s. just gotten through a break up 2 months ago, your post very inspiring so thanks!

SheRa

I dont think that it'd be a good idea to stay in contact seeing as how you broke up with him and he still loves you. It would just be too cruel.

As for what to do next, Id highly recommend going on a holiday on your own. I went skiing last year after a break up, it was so much fun:):). I went with the Mark Warner (werner?) company from the UK. Think crystal do it from Ireland.

phic

unreg86 wrote: »

OP here.

I have 2 grand to play around with, so i think a holiday of some sort will be in order in the new year. Any place reccomendations?

As for myself, i enjoy learning new things, i think maybe an evening course of something or another would be great.

On a seperate note, for about 2 weeks after the break-up, there was no contact at all on his part but now there is a steady stream of texts and some phone calls. Since i caused the break-up, i feel i should be grateful of this. He says he still loves me and cares about me and maybe in a couple of months when i sort myself out, he could see us together again. Now i'm just confused, i do like talking to him as i miss my bestfriend. Is it possible to do the mature thing and stay friends after a break-up?


Partizan cheeky :P!!!

I dont want to sound harsh, but if you really want to rebuild yourself it's going to be a lot harder with your ex in your life. Not saying it can't be done, but maybe give it a while and then see if it still seems like a great idea?

LegacyUser

Me again!!

Thanks for you replies. I know the friends thing isnt a good idea i kind of just needed someone else to say it out loud for me!

Skiing is a great idea always wanted to do it, the nightlife is supposed to be great!

SheRa he was the one who did the breaking up, it was my fault though, i let my insecurities and issues with myself effect us in a big way.

Looking back on things i relied too much on him and on us for my hapiness, i was always so independent and strong, i am actually just annoyed at myself for letting myself get like that! Why do we do it?!

starttheend i'm glad you found it inspiring, you should have seen me 2 weeks ago, eyes raw, hair a mess, i should have had a government warrning sticker on my head!!

It is getting easier though still miss him like crazy and the hugs....ah the hugs!!

NightOwl91

unreg86 wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I'm one of the usual stories broke up with my boyfriend over a month now, i've done the crying, begging, pleading, denial, general "my life is over" scenerio.

Now i'm in defiant mood and want to re-build myself again, i'm no longer a "we" anymore i am a "me".

Just wondering if anyone has ideas for meeting new people, starting new hobbies, what is the best way to find this me person again?!

Any ideas welcome
Thanks....

Wow your cool for recognising you want to get on and not linger on ur break up
It depends on your personality! What are you interested in?
You know, I love reading and I have made a list of classic novels to read for summer to discover me again
Such as, Austen, Bronte, Shakespeare, Brown..
Ok Im a book worm but make a list! Right?
What have you never done? Paint? Write a short story? Try sailing?
Learn French? Become a twihard! ..
Hope you get what Im saying!
I found climbing the V in kildare (i think kildare.not sure) but ages ago, I found accomplishing that was mindblowing :rolleyes:
How about taking up cooking? Book club? etc
Wow I sound "cool" but you get me I guess.
Make a list of goals
Good luck