Introduction agencies or online dating

acequion

I have read some interesting posts on this site about online dating but I was wondering what people think of introduction agencies.I'm a divorced woman in my 40's living in a small town and would like to meet someone special.I've tried online dating and am very much in favour of it as another way of meeting people and I've met nice guys but no major romance.

So I contacted a reportedly reputable introductions agency based in the south to see what they could offer.Well this guy basically talked at me over the phone,ranted on a bit about all the non legit organisations out there but agreed to help me.However a meeting would be with a view to signing a contract and paying up front [a very sizeable yearly fee].

So, as he asked me very little about myself and provided even less information about the service, I decided to follow up with a mail where I detailed the type of person I would and would not like to meet, along with more specific questions about the service. Anyway the mail was ignored and I had to make two more attempts at contact before I got a mail in reply.

This told me [in a somewhat patronising tone]that he no longer felt he could help me, more or less because I was too fussy.So basically it's hand over the cash and be grateful for whatever Joe they send you! I was gobsmacked. I think an introductions agency is a great idea in principle as it's a bit like old fashioned match making, but does anyone know of a good one operating in the south of Ireland? Or is there no longer a market for them in recession riddled Ireland? At least one major agency in Dublin has gone out of business.

Emme

I think I know the guy you are talking about - he operates from West Cork and Dublin. He has a very direct forthright manner, pulls no punches and tells it like it is. He doesn't tell you what you want to hear but at least he isn't making false promises and taking money off you, then delivering nothing.

If introduction agencies are losing business, it's for a reason. They're charging high fees and are in competition with free online dating sites and also online dating sites that charge a small fee. There are more available women than men in the age group you are looking for. Of these men, many are likely to be introduced to eligible women. Others would rather use the internet than pay a fortune for an introduction agency. Thanks to the recession most of us have less disposable income, and if men can meet someone through friends, family, colleagues or the internet why should they pay an introduction agency a huge fee?

The men that do want to spend a few bob on meeting somebody have the option of checking out online overseas introduction agencies which can guarantee a young, pretty and often very submissive woman for a price. This may not be what you want to hear but it's getting more and more common.

IMHO introduction agencies are falling by the wayside and you'd be better to persist with the internet and get out and socialise as much as possible in your area. Let friends, colleagues, family etc. know you're looking for someone nice and if they know of someone then they might try to introduce you.

Finally, have an open mind and don't dismiss someone straight away if they don't seem right at first. Be realistic in your expectations. If a man seems interesting despite the lack of chemistry see him 2 or 3 times before you make up your mind. I presume you are considering men of your own age up to late 50s and if you're in your late 40s then maybe early 60s.

I don't know if I can put links in but a good book for you would be Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women over 40 by Gloria McDonald and Thelma Beam. You can get it on Amazon.

http://www.lawsofthejungledating.com/

I know it's aimed at the over 40s but I would recommend it for any woman over 35 who's out there looking! I strongly recommend the section The Seven Attitudes of Highly Successful Daters.

Good luck and keep an open mind.

Plus one for internet dating that how i met my partner...i think maybe you need to stick with the internet as a way of meeting someone and maybe be a bit realistic about your expectations ...i don't agree with emma about there being more women than men in the forties age group on dating sites...my experience was that it was about even with maybe slightly more men...I know a few women in there forties who have met there partners on dating sites.

as for the man running the introduction agency he should not have been rude to you..but if he though your expectations were too high he was best off telling you.

acequion

Thanks a million to both Emme and Mariaalice for the excellent advice,much appreciated and I'll certainly check out that book. Ya it is indeed hard to find a partner and I had my own idea that introduction agencies were probably in decline for the very reasons mentioned which makes perfect sense but I thought I'd check it out anyway.Still I was offended by the guy's attitude.I have no problem with people being straight and upfront because that's how I am, but he was quite happy to do business with me and take my money as long as I was easy to please.I mean we're talking about an intimate life partner here, not a new pet dog.Of course people are hard to please. It's not even a case of being hard to please, it's a case of having standards.But you've got to keep an open mind too, of course.Mind you I wouldn't go for a fella as old as 60.Sure he'd probably be dead in a few years time and I'd have to start all over again.lol,lol . But yes the advice you both give is spot on.The Internet sometimes gets bad press but it's like the club scene of old.You get all sorts and you just have to keep looking.Lovely to hear about meeting your partner there Mariaalice and indeed a good friend of mine met her husband online and it was me who encouraged her to try it in the first place. So onwards and upwards girls and thanks again.:)

LegacyUser

acequion wrote: »

I have read some interesting posts on this site about online dating but I was wondering what people think of introduction agencies.I'm a divorced woman in my 40's living in a small town and would like to meet someone special.I've tried online dating and am very much in favour of it as another way of meeting people and I've met nice guys but no major romance.

So I contacted a reportedly reputable introductions agency based in the south to see what they could offer.Well this guy basically talked at me over the phone,ranted on a bit about all the non legit organisations out there but agreed to help me.However a meeting would be with a view to signing a contract and paying up front [a very sizeable yearly fee].

So, as he asked me very little about myself and provided even less information about the service, I decided to follow up with a mail where I detailed the type of person I would and would not like to meet, along with more specific questions about the service. Anyway the mail was ignored and I had to make two more attempts at contact before I got a mail in reply.

This told me [in a somewhat patronising tone]that he no longer felt he could help me, more or less because I was too fussy.So basically it's hand over the cash and be grateful for whatever Joe they send you! I was gobsmacked. I think an introductions agency is a great idea in principle as it's a bit like old fashioned match making, but does anyone know of a good one operating in the south of Ireland? Or is there no longer a market for them in recession riddled Ireland? At least one major agency in Dublin has gone out of business.

I had exactly the same experience. Found him to be very arrogant. I was ready to sign up with the agency but his attitude turned me off . He came across as very patronising and I was quite taken aback by it, considering I had just agreed to sign up. I was certainly not going to accept any old Joe for the price they were looking for either. If that was the case I d have stuck with the online scene for a fraction or zero cost.