What's the stupidest thing you've seen your boss do?

geeky

It's dawned on me that I've had a few very stupid people in charge of me in my short working life.* No particularly funny stories - just lots of esoteric handface moments.

However, it got me thinking that there are surely plenty of stupid managers out there in Ireland doing very stupid things on a regularly basis. So I thought I'd pose the AH question: what's the dumbest thing you've ever witnessed your boss do? (I'll expand that to clients for the self-employed!)




*I've worked with some genuine legends who taught me a lot as well, of course. They know who they are.

NedTermo

Hire me.

PirateShampoo

Eat his own head.

genericguy

one girl i worked for was talking to a customer while grossly hung over, and proceeded to get sick into her hand while trying to suppress vomiting.

stylish.

Mental Mickey

genericguy wrote: »

one girl i worked for was talking to a customer while grossly hung over, and proceeded to get sick into her hand while trying to suppress vomiting.

stylish.

eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

genericguy

Mental Mickey wrote: »

eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

yep! her face while she was doing a peter griffin trying to hold it in was awesome.

Mental Mickey

genericguy wrote: »

yep! her face while she was doing a peter griffin trying to hold it in was awesome.

Yer making my stomach turn. STOP!!!!!

Hellm0

Funny story, I once saw my boss stab someone.

bad2dabone

a boss I had called a major customer a wanker while hanging up the phone. The phone was mid-way towards the receiver when he said it. Customer heard, called back, hilarity ensued.

geeky

Hellm0 wrote: »

Funny story, I once saw my boss stab someone.

Did he/she have it coming? If not, then I'm afraid you're OT my friend.

Banter Joe

I worked in a shop before. Boss regularly eat the out of date food that was thrown out the back. Don't know about stupid, but it was a bit weird

adamshred

Banter Joe wrote: »

I worked in a shop before. Boss regularly eat the out of date food that was thrown out the back. Don't know about stupid, but it was a bit weird

as long as it wasn't yoghurts or milk he was taking then its mildly acceptable :cool:

Handsome Bob

Attempt to give us an official reprimand when we refused to stay beyond our working shift.

Turd Ferguson

geeky wrote: »

It's dawned on me that I've had a few very stupid people in charge of me in my short working life.* No particularly funny stories - just lots of esoteric handface moments.

However, it got me thinking that there are surely plenty of stupid managers out there in Ireland doing very stupid things on a regularly basis. So I thought I'd pose the AH question: what's the dumbest thing you've ever witnessed your boss do? (I'll expand that to clients for the self-employed!)




*I've worked with some genuine legends who taught me a lot as well, of course. They know who they are.

facepalm

Hellm0

geeky wrote: »

Did he/she have it coming? If not, then I'm afraid you're OT my friend.

I'll be honest, none of my bosses ever stabbed anyone. I have however worked with people who have been stabbed and shot, one of whom had shotgun pellets lodged in his arm. A wonderful sight to behold let me tell you.

consultech

Actually lol'ed at "handface" moments!

daca88

not really my boss, more of a supervisor but he did some donuts in a forklift with some empty pallets on it...was good until they flew off:D

Daroxtar

I saw the owner of a factory climb up on a moulding machine and start messing at wires on it. The fitter let a shout "Hey jackie, get away from that, thats live" ,the boss said "No its fukin not , and sure its only 12volts ". It wasnt 12 volts, it was 3 phase and it blew him onto his arse. Not one ounce of sympathy did he get.

dsmythy

Have sex with someone other than his wife... Especially there!

RMD

Well I worked in a cycling store for a while and saw my boss shoot into the shop on his new 5,000 euro bike and fall because he forgot to unclip from the pedals in time (basic mistake) and smash a display was extremely satisfying and I suppose it suits the stupid criteria as it was a basic mistake.

smk89

Hellm0 wrote: »

Funny story, I once saw my boss stab someone.

Was he your pimp?

laugh

Not spending €2500 on a course for a employee causing him to walk, while at same time losing €400,000 by investing the company's surplus.

brendansmith

laugh wrote: »

Not spending €2500 on a course for a employee causing him to walk

Thats great news!!!!!!!

monkeypants

My boss regularly forgets to pick up her kids from school and has to be called in meetings to come get them. She's forty-something and should know better by now.

laugh

brendansmith wrote: »

Thats great news!!!!!!!

Out the door with the a **** load of knowledge.

Longboard

My boss and me had a sales meeting with a large client at their head office. Midway through, my boss deviated from the orginal planned pitch and to my horror, proceeded to plead for them to invest in our company as we were about to go bankrupt (that was the first i had heard of it!). His argumant was they had plenty to spare. As you can guess we were quickly shown the door.

brendansmith

laugh wrote: »

Out the door with the a **** load of knowledge.

Thats bad news.

Blitzkrieger

I wasn't there at the time but my boss impregnated his wife...twice. People that stupid shouldn't be allowed to breed. I know everybody thinks their boss is stupid, but my boss is the ****tard to end all ****tards.

soups05

My boss was called in on an evening shift to look at a machine that was smashing the glass bottles it was meant to put into a crate. we were all standing well back cos of the broken glass flying everywhere.

He walks in,stands looking for a few mins then moves over beside the machine for a better look. daft yes,but he was holding his 1yr old child at the time.

we had to let a roar at him to move before the kid got hurt.



have to say he was a sound bloke and not normaly that stupid but it was a moment of carelessness that i still remember 10+ years later.

AnonoBoy

I worked for this guy once in a record label once. Anyway this skiffle combo audition for him once and he's all like, "Ah man they sound too much like the Shadows, guitar bands like that are on the way out." So he turns them down.

I left Decca Records two weeks later.

Nodin

There was one - a decent skin generally- but singling out the female staff for how much toilet paper they used at a department meeting was not his finest moment......

Another won lifelong admiration by announcing loudly that in his estimation "she goes at it like the clappers" on an open plan office about a (not unattractive woman) within 6 feet of him

Hells Belle

Not so much stupid but fcukin crazy:

I didn't see old supervisor stab someone but he came into the office one day out of the blue and said he was leaving because he was pleading guilty to stabbing a guy with a broken bottle in the face and blinding him - he was expecting at least 10 years, he got 5 iirc - I always thought he was a nice guy....:eek:

Another boss rang me at home to see why I had left the top off a highlighter pen....the phone call probably cost more than the bloody pen, what a *****r

star.chaser

PirateShampoo wrote: »

Eat his own head.

my boss can stick his head up his arse

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

star.chaser wrote: »

my boss can stick his head up his arse

.... but have you actually seen him do it?

GavRedKing

The boss, while talking about a load of business terms to make it out what he was saying was important, was stapling together pages, he was so busy stapling and talking crap he didnt realise the staples had run out with about 3 or 4 copies left, so when it came to handing them out he starts to throw them across the table at people, 20 odd pages flying around the room.

It made us laugh, gave the boss a red face, rather childish but Id have it no other way. :pac:

Fuhrer

Close on Sundays because the bible says so.

Cadiz

We were having a meeting about company results, we were discussing BT (telecom), which had results out that day. She had spaced out.

She then came round and leapt into the conversation to show she was keeping up, saying: "It's so annoying the way they keep spraying perfume at you on the perfume counters in there."

She's an imbecile.

spyro_2001ie

Myself and a male co-workers get into a lift.

Already there is the water cooler deliver man from Kerry who's talking way too much for a Monday morning, cracking crap jokes and being generally irritating.

Cue good looking girl from accounts getting into the lift on the next floor.

Water Cooler delivery man says: 'Your very brave getting into a lift with 3 fellas'

Good looking girl from accounts says: 'Oh, its OK. Im only going up 2 floors'

I say: 'Thats as long as he takes!'

---

Awkward silence for the rest of the 2 floors

---

---

Sniggering

---

---

While i pray i dont lose my job

---

DOH!

CrazyRabbit

An ex boss asked me to create a schedule for our out-of-hours Helpdesk staff. It was to include times for lunch/breaks & toilet breaks etc and to cover the whole year in advance.

Sounds normal enough, except the out-of-hours staff were 2 guys who between them took about 3 calls per week and were equipped with cordless phones that worked anywhere in the builiding. In other words, the 2 guys were effectively on a break for 99.9% of their shift anyway and could work from anywhere in the building, so no schedule was needed.

Micro-management at its stupidest.

Jumpy

geeky wrote: »

It's dawned on me that I've had a few very stupid people in charge of me in my short working life.* No particularly funny stories - just lots of esoteric handface moments.

However, it got me thinking that there are surely plenty of stupid managers out there in Ireland doing very stupid things on a regularly basis. So I thought I'd pose the AH question: what's the dumbest thing you've ever witnessed your boss do? (I'll expand that to clients for the self-employed!)




*I've worked with some genuine legends who taught me a lot as well, of course. They know who they are.

HANDFACE!

Kradock

Jumpy wrote: »

HANDFACE!

The lingo may be evolving.



* I know very little of it

star.chaser

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

.... but have you actually seen him do it?

No one's ever actually seen him doing it. It's just always up there.