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Trouble in the bedroom..

  • 24-11-2009 9:31am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,
    I've been with by BF for about 2 years now and we're living together. At the start of the relationship we couldn't keep our hands off each other, now I'm lucky if I even get a kiss. Almost all physical contact is instigated by me. It's the same when we're in bed together, it seems like he's only interested in satisfying himself. He never seems in the mood for sex but when he is, that involves him getting his kicks and that's it. I'm starting to feel really down about this as it makes me feel like he doesn't fancy me anymore and doesn't want me. I haven't spoken to him about this as I have no idea where to begin. I don't think that it's because his sex drive has gone because I know that he looks at porn sometimes if I'm not around. Any advice please as I can't take much more of this?


Comments

  • #2
    Dinxminx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 848 ✭✭✭Dinxminx


    You really need to talk to him about this. I know it might seem too awkward to bring up, or you may be afraid of hurting his feelings, but sex is important in a relationship!


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Sounds like he's too used to you. You're not married - why stay living together? Find your own place and you'll soon feel like yourself again. He might see you as an individual again and it might work much better. Or he might be delighted because he's gone off the whole idea of living together and it saves him being the bad guy... Either way, once the disruption is over, you'll feel much better. Don't live with someone who doesn't see you anymore - it must be soul destroying.


  • #4
    miec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    Hi Op

    Would I be correct in saying that basically he gets his pleasure but has no interest in pleasing you? Have you said this to him directly?

    If you have not spoken to him about this, tell him what you would like in bed, that you feel taken for granted and that it is getting you down. Do you think he would listen to you properly and try to change his ways and be more attentive to you? How does he treat you outside of the bedroom and is sex very sporadic or do you feel unloved?


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