HELP!

iSpaceSnake

I really don't have a good way to put this. So just please listen and offer advice.

For years I have been depressed. It has extended from a few days to several months at a time. I try talking to my mum but she just either ignores me or shouts at me to stop being stupid. That just made me feel worse. I've tried taking my own life several times in the recent past years (2007-2008). I've been biting myself to the extent i get bad bruises. My mum sees them and doesn't comment. I often have dreams and daydreams of killing myself. But this is only half of it.

When I get seriously depressed (after several months of not being depressed), I start to cough up blood and get nosebleeds with it and I often stop breathing along with it.

I've tried telling friends but they just leave me eventually when I constantly ask them for help and that makes me feel like no one wants to listen to me so I don't go and seek help.

I've emotionally detached myself from my family and that makes me feel slightly better.

I walk to and from school (40 minutes each way), read a book at night, watch tv, relax, socialise with people and generally watch nature and nothing seems to help this feeling

As i'm still in school, I currently have no money to go really anywhere or do much.

I'm in a real pickle and I feel really alone with my thoughts.

If someone could help me that would be great. Even if it's just advise. I just want someone to understand me before I do something irreversible.

Thanks to anyone who listens

athlone M

you poor thing. I don't really have any advice to be honest. I've suffered with pnd after the birth of my second child but after a trip to the doctor and after talking to my husband and family I finally managed to pullmyself through but unfortunately you are in a different situation. You say you are only in school,is there a teacher in your school that you can speak to or can you go to see your gp. If not you could try calling the samaritans. Please try to speak to someone about the situation you have found yourself in, you are only a young person with so much to live for. My thoughts are with you and I hope you can find someone who can listen and help you.

kjl

go and see your gp

Wibbs

iSpaceSnake this is something you need to talk to a professional about. Someone you can trust who has the tools at their disposal to give you the helping hand you need to build your own tools for coping at first and then moving forward.

Like kjl wrote, your GP would be a very good start. If you feel they're too close or you would feel weird about that, then try another GP. There are many resources in the sticky at the top of this forum and many avenues for help.

You deserve to give yourself a new better future. Many have been there before you and many have moved forward into positive fulfilled lives. Please take the first step.