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He wants to wait??

  • 23-11-2009 8:46pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So I'm just out of a long term relationship and have been recently kissing a guy in my class on nights out for the last 2 months. The last night we went back to mine ( he didnt have a place to stay since he lives in town and his friend who lives near was hooking up with another girl) and one thing led to another and we fooled around for quite a while. When things started getting a bit steamy, I asked if he had any protection (cause I really thought thats what was going to happen) but he said he wants to get to know me better, and not just have casual sex with me? What does he mean by that? cause I'm afraid he might be thinking relationship, which I don't feel like jumping into quite yet! Although he said he's never been in a relationship(he's 22). Im very confused!


Comments

  • #2
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    When things started getting a bit steamy, I asked if he had any protection (cause I really thought thats what was going to happen) but he said he wants to get to know me better, and not just have casual sex with me?

    OK, sounds like a nice guy and that he respects you and doesn't want to rush things
    What does he mean by that?

    Um, men have a tendency to do what they say on the tin so I should imagine he wants toget to know you better and not have casual sex with you
    cause I'm afraid he might be thinking relationship, which I don't feel like jumping into quite yet!
    No, but you were happy to jump into the sack. Cool the jets here, he has expressed an interest in you romantically and would like to get to know you better. He hasn't suggested you get married or donate a kidney
    Although he said he's never been in a relationship(he's 22)

    He probably hasn't. And he may not have had sex before either. No big deal.

    Why don't you test the water here and actually do it the old fashioned way and go on a few dates with the guy? You'd be surprised at how exciting it can be to do that and to actually wait without riding rings around yourselves straight away.

    On a side note I'd be concerned that you think it weird and abnormal that a guy doesn't want to sleep with you on the first night because he might actually want to get to know you better first.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Well it wasn't really our first night, we had spent the night in other places before. I just was taken aback because when we've hooked up before, he has been VERY touchy feely sometimes....and that night it was him initiating stuff like removal of clothing etc. I just had the total wrong impression of him i guess.


  • #4
    minidazzler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Miss Fluff wrote: »

    No, but you were happy to jump into the sack. Cool the jets here, he has expressed an interest in you romantically and would like to get to know you better. He hasn't suggested you get married or donate a kidney



    On a side note I'd be concerned that you think it weird and abnormal that a guy doesn't want to sleep with you on the first night because he might actually want to get to know you better first.

    They were kissing 2 months, there is a reasonable expectation that sex won't be off the cards after that time.

    The OP has expressed no desire to be in a relationship, in fact quite the opposite, she is just out of one. It's fair enough for her to just want to have some unattached fun for a while.

    OP, from what I read it sounds like he wants to date you, possibly relationship. If that is NOT what you want, then I would advise calling it quits before he gets too emotionally involved here. But taht's just one mans opinion.


  • #5
    magneticimpulse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭magneticimpulse


    maybe there is a slight possibility he has not had sex before?? i was nearly 22 when i 1st had sex and it was a one night stand. i then waited 4 months with my OH before having sex. i just felt i had such a ****ty 1st experience and waited so long for the one, that it never happened!! when i eventually met someone i liked, i just waited until the time felt right.

    i felt awful being 21 and still a virgin and to my surprise met alot of other guys who were 21/22 and still virgins. there could be other reasons such as like he said, he wants to get to know you. however not everyone necessarily wants to rush into it and have just a bit of fun.


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