Cracking up under the pressure

LegacyUser

Hi

I'll keep this short.

I'm a student teacher doing my PGDE this year. And basically my problem is that I am cracking up under the pressure of this year.

I'm not sure if I'm taking it too seriously or not, but I just don't seem to have any time off at all, and its having terrible effects on me.

I simply have to work part time to fund my studies, I don't have an option. This results in me putting in full days mon-sun, without a day off.

Including part-time work, teaching practice and college, my timetable is as follows:

mon: 8.30 - 4 (4-5 therapist)
tues: 9 - 7 8.30 - 9.30 (Grind)
wed: 9 - 5 / 7-9 (work)
thurs: 9 - 3 / 5-9 (work)
fri: 9 - 6 / 8-10
sat: 11-3
sun: 11 - 5

In between that time I need to plan lessons, worry about supervisions and try to take some time off to.

As you can see from my timetable, I am seeing a therapist. this is for other issues I'm dealing with, but it does help to talk with someone about this.

However, my therapist tells me to take time off work. But the thing is that I can't because then my bills won't be paid.

To top all of this off I don't really have any friends or anyone I can talk to. I just never have a spare minute and right now I still have one more lesson plan to type up for tomorrow, worksheets to type up, fecking reflections to type up...

The mountain of work just isn't reducing... I don't know what to do as no matter how hard I seem to work I can't get ahead of myself. No matter how many hours I put in I've always just enough done to get me by the next day.

Finding time to see my boyfriend is an issue too. He tries to understand how busy I am but he has a very negative attitude towards the whole public sector and I just don't think he fully grasps how busy I am,

Like for example tonight when I left his house to go home he asked me why I wouldn't stay longer. I said I had lesson plans to do, and he said to me, "Did you not do them last week"!!!

I'm just at my wits end, the assignments are starting to be dished out now and come Jan they will be looking for their second installment of 3,000.

I know its just for the year but I feel like I can't go on...

Toto Wolfcastle

Hi there. I feel for you. I really do.

I found the PGDE almost impossible to deal with at times. The sheer amount of paper work involved in lesson plans and assignments is enough work for anyone, without adding work, college and teaching practice onto that. I know of an awful lot of people who say the same so you are definitely not alone.

From a purely practical point of view, looking at your weekly timetable, I would get rid of the grind. You would be better off spending this time on other things and even though it's just an hour it would take a lot of the pressure off.

The bad news is that I don't think the PGDE will get any easier, but changing the way you look at it will help. I know that facing having to prepare a load of lesson plans and work sheets for the next day is daunting, but remember that once this year is over a lot of that pressure will be off. Look towards the future, towards where the PGDE is leading you. It is very much worth it.

Can you devote a few hours on Saturday or Sunday to doing your lesson plans and worksheets? If you can get the majority of them done at the weekend it will take some of the pressure off during the week. They do take a lot of time but you should be able to reduce that time as the year goes on and you are more used to them.

Can you talk to your supervisor or to a teacher in your TP school? Generally (although not always) they are very supportive and they can give you some practical tips.

For me, once I came to terms with the fact that I would be doing college work for most of my time off, I was able to just get stuck in and the sheer exhaustion of the year didn't bother me as much.

It is the hardest year of your life, but even though there is so much work involved in teaching once qualified, it will never be that hard again. Keep telling yourself that.

If you want to talk to other PGDE students or to qualified teachers who have gone through the PGDE then you can post in the Teaching & Lecturing forum. I can assure you that we are very friendly.

LegacyUser

Thank you for your kind words.

I will give up the grind, after christmas. I can't just yet as I have a big sum of money due for Christmas week (nothing glamorous, just a lump sum payment off a loan)

I know you think, sure what use is the money from one grind, but that's what's putting petrol in the car right now.

The lesson plans are getting easier, but I feel that when inspection time is lurking, when I'm expecting her, I just can't think of anything else and I go into a panic about it.

When I take time off I feel guilty. Really guilty. I am a perfectionist, I've been told you can't be a teacher if you're a perfectionist and I can see why now.

You're right, I need to accept the fact that the year is hard. I was doing very well until the halloween midterm, and I haven't been able to get back into the zone since then.

If I can accept that I've to work hard and not get time off then I can get on with it much easier.

Thing is, people keep saying "you're almost half way there" but I'm not. Haven't actually submitted any assignments yet. Got one, due in 2 weeks, I will be fine for that, but this week coming I'll be slapped with 3 methodology assignments. They're all due for Jan, with a 4,000 one due for feb.

Toto Wolfcastle

Have you a lesson plan prepared for when the inspector visits? If you have one prepared that you can slot into your scheme of work for when you get your visit then it might take some of the pressure off. If you know that plan inside out then it will make it easier. I didn't do this but I know that some others did and it worked out well.

It's understandable that you are feeling this way at this point. The excitement of the first term is long gone and coming back after midterm is very difficult when you know how much work you have ahead of you.

You have loads of time for the assignments though. I know it seems like an awful lot of work but once you plan out each assignment properly it should not take too long to get it all done. Forget about the February one for now. Thinking about it is just stressing you out too much. Focus on getting yourself to the Christmas holidays and you can think about the new term after that.

I don't think the guilt when you take a break is something that goes away. I've often found that I still felt guilty when I had everything done, like I should be doing something else. You just need to try to ignore it because you can't get through the year without proper relaxation.

Forget about the 'halfway there' thing. You're thinking too far ahead. As I said, focus on getting to Christmas which isn't that far away. You will be able to take a much deserved break at Christmas and get yourself ready for January.

If you are really struggling with the workload then talk to your lecturers or course director. I know that when I did my PGDE they were very open to discussing extensions on assignment deadlines for people who were having genuine difficulty. Explain to them that you are under this pressure. If they don't give you an extension they can at least help calm you down and offer you advice.

You can do this. And you can be certain that you are not the only one finding the course difficult. Try talking to some of the other students. I guarantee you they will be finding it just as difficult.