How do I deal with this childish behaviour??

LegacyUser

Cutting a long story short, Ex left me a year ago, He broke my heart, there are children involved. I was bascially left homeless. He was a player before me and made it clear he wanted that lifestyle back

Now I have struggled on and its been very hard but ex is being so very bitter and petty. Lately his family have started to see him for what he is.

After access, son is dropped back to my family where I collect him. When he drops back son, he proceeds to strip him of his warm clothes. He strips off his jumper and even his bib and rolls them up and puts them in pocket & takes them home with him. Poor child puts up a fight but coz he is disabled, he cant do much.

Im tempted to send him a new pack of bibs next week so he has his own. Wanted to add that this ex is not short of a few bob by any means. Ive had to give up work to look after disabled child so we are living in virtual poverty.

What is the best way to deal with this carryon?

Victor

Pettyex wrote: »

After access, son is dropped back to my family where I collect him. When he drops back son, he proceeds to strip him of his warm clothes. He strips off his jumper and even his bib and rolls them up and puts them in pocket & takes them home with him.

Do I have it right that he takes the child's clothes? Does he return them?

Is there a formal agreement in place?

LegacyUser

Yeah he very regularly takes the childs clothes off that I send him in and never returns them. The clothes he takes off in my familys home are clothes he has put on him. But to take a bib off a little child just so I wont have it is not on.

I used to ask for them back but dont bother any more.

I understand he has a right to take the clothes back but I always send adequate warm tops so there is no need to put his own on and why not just remove the clothes before child gets to the agreed access point

Bibs are about 2 euro for 10.

Maybe I should just ignore this???? But I would have thought that any clothes were for the child and not anyone else. He was also keeping any clothes his family have provided but I had words with them and they have put a stop to that.

and yeah there is an access order in place.

LegacyUser

Dont ignore it!

I've heard some petty and childish things in my life but this really takes the biscuit. My blood is actually boiling!! I'm trying to wrap my head round why someone would do that, its fair weird I just cant understand it.

Have you asked him straight out why in hell he feels he needs to take the warm clothes off the child?? In the end hes only really hurting the child with this carry on of trying to get at you.

To be honest, its really really weird carry on.

Is there anyone who he might listen to that you can ask to have a chat with him? A family member to tell him this isnt on at all.

This sounds like it could only escalate, soon he'll be taking toys off the child when dropping him off coz HE bought them etc

Why is he being so bitter, I mean he broke it off with you to go back to his player life!

LegacyUser

Communication is a major issue at the moment

I have spoken to a member of his family about his carry on, They have since made sure the child gets the clothes they have been buying. e.g. he was taking them and keeping them for himself. Now he doesnt have much access so there is no need for him to have piles of clothes.

My family think its hilarous that he would take bib off a child and put it in his pocket in case I got it. As for the toys, he has on another occasion taking a balloon off the child rather than let the child come home to me with it.

He hurt me very badly with what he did last year so I cant for the life of me understand why he is behaving like this as he now has the single life that he wanted.

The family memember has also agreed that how he has/ and is behaving is not right but there is nothing anyone can do about it... he wont listen to anyone

I think I may have had a lucky escape

Darthhoob

pettyex wrote: »

I think I may have had a lucky escape

i think you have, sadly though, your child hasn't.

how very strange that he does this? what does it matter if you get the clothes? or the balloon? or anything else that BELONGS TO YOUR CHILD??? :rolleyes: it's not like you're going to wear it. i've never heard anything so petty and stupid and downright tightfisted.

i'm sorry i dont have any advice for you really, not sure if there is a legal standing in this at all?

Rantan

Tough situation, went through something similar with my ex, now our son is 13 we are both happily married to other people and both happily attended each others weddings. Your ex is being an a**. The best way I find, no matter how hard, is to talk these things through. Maybe you could arrange to talk to him about it, spell it out how petty and hurtful he is being but try and get his family member who agrees with you to sit in with you and support you. it might come a bit easier to him if it comes from someone on his own side as well as you.
he may not realise how dumb he is being and needs a reminder.