Depression patterns.

LegacyUser

Basically I have had depression since I was 18. I'm now 34. It hit me bad this Summer after I tried to come of the meds. At the moment Im doing psychotherapy and Im giving it all I can, I talk openly with people particulary with family, I take one type of medication and liase with a psychiatrist and GP, I do meditation and relaxation techniques, I have read tonnes of books on the topic and related topics, I do proper execise 3 times a week, I have cut out alcohol, and Im still working away as best I can. And Im pretty successful and very level headed really.
I'm much better than I was in the Summer. But there is a pattern emerging, maybe a week where I feel good and feel like I have worked it all out but then a few **** days where I am clinically depressed and have to force myself out of bed. Then the pattern repeats it seems.
Anyone got any advice? Anyone ever go through this? I'm very depressed today and am so sick of it all now. But no I'm no suicidal and never would be.

My name is URL

Maybe try to get out of the pattern. You seem to have a very organized diary of things that you (need to ?) do

It's easy to fall into a pattern when you build the course yourself

mix it up, and stop thinking about what you need to do... think about what you want to do instead

Abi

I'm with Url on this. You've begun to notice a pattern, but it's within your power to break it. Depression can be a very hard thing to get past, because often there is not any one cause for it.

I've suffered from depression in the past, and like yourself and many others - was using combined medication and therapy. I'm glad to hear you aren't drinking at the moment, and I know they hate it when drink because some people begin to use it as a tool for dealing with depression. It does in fact make it worse, and then a pattern begins.

In relation to yourself, what works for one might not work for another. But what I did was changed some key problems in my life. Something of a 'cleaning out the closet' episode. I was in a relationship that was messing with my head a bit, I shot that down in flames. My job was pissing me off, and I hated where it was going, I quit and I'm studying again and loving it. I understand that not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to walk out of a job in the way that I did, but there can be ways around it like part-time study, if thats the way you wanted to go.

I went back to some interests that got cast aside due to relationships /work etc., such as horse-riding. I can't tell you how much I've missed it and enjoy the relaxation it gives me. Everything is rush-rush these days, and we have ourselves under so much pressure because 'society' seems to indicate that we should 'have this' or 'have that' or do this and that.. its ridiculous. It's time to get back to the roots OP. Remember yourself, what you used to love and ignore what is dictated that you need or should want. I pressed reset, and its worked.

I hope some of this made sense, and you feel better soon. You realise theres a pattern, so break it!