Help, I Love my Flatmate

2bpacific

Hey Girls

So I have been living with my flatmate for the last 3 months. At first I found him really irritating and was always moaning to my friends about him. But it seems that the little **** has grown on me and am now head over heals. We are always flirting in a really heavy way - general arse grabbing, slapping, hugging, kisses on the cheek, foot massages, the list goes on..

We had a conversation a while ago and we both admitted that we liked each other, however we decided to be all mature about it and not take it any further as we have to live with each other for the next year!

The problem is that at first (2 days) we were a bit awkward with each other, but now it seems it has all gone back to normal (still calling each other pet names and flirting outrageously) However we went to a club with the rest of our flat mates and I had to watch him all over another girl. I was so gutted that I had to leave the club, I couldn't stand it physically or emotionally.

So girls, im absolutely heart broken, what do i do? Continue to flirt with him, knowing that its going nowhere, talk to him and seem like an over emotional crazy woman, grin n bear it?

Mackleton

Well it really depends on how strong your feelings are for him and his for you. If. like you say you are really in love with him, then you owe it to yourself to give it a shot, take it further and see where it goes. It may go nowhere but hey, at least you'll know. To that end it would involve having a heart to heart with him and explain your feelings. Unfortunately if he doesn't feel the same then it may become extremely awkward, not to mention hard on you seeing him with others, and you may have to move out. Is this something you could handle?

If what you're feeling is just a crush then I would say think long and hard about what taking it further would mean. Do you want to jeopardize your friendship and living situation by telling him or do you think he would reciprocate?

Not to sound mean but if you have been living together and flirting etc for this long and he still hasn't made a move then there could be obvious reasons for this. However he could be shy or just unsure and needs that extra confirmation from you.

At the end of the day OP, you know him best.

Good Luck

G-Money

I shared a place with two people and I started to like the girl. We'd get on well and have similar interests and similar personalities and I felt like we were getting close. We didn't really flirt that much, or at all I don't think, so I couldn't figure out if she was interested or not. She did suggest going along with me to the cinema to see a film one time. It was something she wasn't that interested in seeing originally but had heard good things about it and knew I wanted to see it and she said something like she could go with me. Then I was doing her a favour one night by dropping her off somewhere and there's a bar in town that I like that her work people have drinks in and she said I should come along some night. This wasn't me dropping hints hoping for an invite or something. She brought this up herself out of the blue. I think we were talking about the bar or something and I didn't know her company had drinks there so she could easily have said nothing.

I do remember one thing though. I always wished she'd come into my room one night and just jump me. Alas though, it never happened. The closest I came to that was one night she came into my room as she was getting ready for bed to drop off a dvd and she is quite generous in the chest department and she was wearing a very simply, low cut tight top. She was falling out of it and my eyes nearly popped out of my head.

I wasn't as nuts about her as you are about this guy, but I often had that sick feeling at the thought of her with someone else. She'd go on a night out and I'd be hoping she came home alone. It's a sickening feeling. In the end I moved out and she was a factor in it. I was getting to like her but I didn't want to have to stay and see her with some guy. Plus I also just wanted my own space. I also knew if I was ever to make a move on her and she said no, I'd have to move out. So that was something I was considering doing before I moved out but in the end I did nothing.

It's up to you OP what you do. It's an awkward situation. Do you have to live together for the next year? I mean if the worst comes to the worst, can you just move out?

Grimebox

grandmaster wrote: »

I also knew if I was ever to make a move on her and she said no, I'd have to move out.

This is insane imo. Of course you can continue to live with someone who rejects you, although obviously it won't be easy. I think taking the option of moving out if it goes bad is way too over the top/ easy way out. You will be a stronger person after such an experience.

OP you only live once. I really don't think living with the person is reason enough not to have a chance at happiness, if even for a small amount of time. I think you should try take things a little further next time the flirting happens and just roll with it.

If you two are as mature as you claim to be, if things go sour it won't be so bad afterwards. my 2c anyways

LegacyUser

Hey guys


Thanks for all the advice. We have had another mature conversation as of yesterday and have both said that we still like each other, but we regards our friendship as more valuable. We also have to take other flat mates into account...

If we still feel this strongly in another few weeks, i think something will have to happen, but for the moment it is as how it was at the beginning, me always worried he is going to come home with someone and him feeling very jealous every time i talk with one of my male friends. I know its such a ridiculous situation and we should just go for it, but for the present time we will have to be just friends!

Thanks guys for all the advice, i really appreciate it!