Approached by my therapist

mrsberries

Hi all

Not sure if this belongs in this forum but wasnt sure where else to post it.

Ive been seeing a counsellor since last Feb which has been great. At this stage, most of the deep stuff has come up and been confronted...its now stress management and day to day stuff

Anyway basically im kinda broke - saving for a wedding and huge credit card bill. Decided to tighten my belt and cut a few luxuries - counselling included. I informed my therapist about this by phone a few weeks ago. Left her a voicemail and she returned it with a voicemail to say fine. Two weeks later I get a letter from her saying we need to have another session to discuss my decision to stop going to these sessions and that she has booked an appointment for me (two days notice). Is it just me or does this sound a bit strange?? I would understand if I were a serious case but Im not...

Anyones views?:)

Gordon

Is the session for free? A bit strange if she agreed, then just booked you a session without your consent.

mrsberries

I dont know! I sent her an email explaining my situation. Basically I was living off my cc to pay for the sessions ( she was insisting I see her every 2 weeks) and sure the stress of my money situation was counteracting the relief I was getting from the counselling!!

Nevyn

Sounds like she needs to discharge her duty of care to you before you stop seeing her.

spinandscribble

She might be trying to be responsible. The decision to cut therapy can sometimes be a result of giving up hope or refusing to deal with issues. The decision to finish counseling for most people comes at the end of counseling and the counselor looks at if it's the right time to finish but ultimately it's your decision unless you're life is at risk. She's probably being responsible in checking FACE TO FACE your reasons. I actually am glad to hear she's checking up, at most it's a formality.

mrsberries

If its the norm thats fine. However I told her Im temporarily putting it on hold as I cant afford it.

Thanks for that guys

Overheal

Im inclined to agree with the above. I'd be surprised if you were expected to pay for this session is all. But it probably is, as most suggest, a formality to verify your reasons for abandoning therapy.

I should be the first to point out though: Counseling is Not exactly a luxury. Especially when you're talking about Weddings in virtually the same breath.

mrsberries

Overheal wrote: »

Counseling is Not exactly a luxury. Especially when you're talking about Weddings in virtually the same breath.

Not sure what you mean about the wedding...

Personally it feels like a luxury at the moment (not in general though). I went to her back in feb with some probs. When we got through them she gave me the option to end it as I had got some resolution and she felt I had got somewhere, however I decided I might need the support over the yr running up to getting married. Its been something good to do over last few months as I get stressed easily but not a necessity for me at this stage.

LegacyUser

mrsberries wrote: »

If its the norm thats fine. However I told her Im temporarily putting it on hold as I cant afford it.

Thanks for that guys

I dont think its fair to cancel temporarily because you are taking the space and time of the counsellor and potentially someone else coming in, what is she supposed to do wait around for you not knowing if you want to finish or not, if you had of said i want to fully leave then it is clear, and you should have one more session to do the wind down.

If you think you got something out of it than she has provided you with a good service i think she deserves the respect of some clarity about you leaving.

When i was in therapy i was so poor but i would scrape the money together and go it was my main priority in my life, i had a tutor tell me that for all the money i was spending on therapy i could have bought a video camera for my projects in college, nothing was more of a priority for me than my emotionally well being and i reap the benefits of it every day of my life now.

Emotional health is the best investment you will ever make. Maybe the counsellor shouldnt have organised the final meeting but she has done so much work with you that it would be the right thing to do.

mrsberries

Thanks everyone for your input. Ill give her a shout tomorrow.

Overheal

All I mean is that swapping it for a wedding savings might not be the best thing. But thats your call. If you feel you're ready to get out of therapy for a while then by all means. In which case go for the closing session.

LegacyUser

Just my tuppence worth OP: as a ex counsellee myself, my counsellor suggested it was time for me to go and I agreed. However, he suggested that should I feel the need, to call him and I could go back to him whenever I wanted to. And I did. I called it a "top up session" and he said it is super common-sort of a way to recharge the skills you learned the first time around.

So, I think you are doing what is right for you and that is great. If you want to prioritise your money for your wedding, that is your choice and nobody has the right to say whether that is right or wrong. Counselling in this country is very very expensive and even the VHI manages to get out of paying you back for it, so if you look at it in PURELY financial terms, it sort of is a luxury.

I think everyone should also remember, that this is a business arrangement. The counsellor is not doing this for free and I am sure the OP is paying a lot for her services. The counsellor is not doing her a favour and therefore, if the OP wishes to stop seeing her, the last thing she should worry about is her counsellor's feelings.

OP, enjoy the build up to the wedding. Stress and anxiety is an awful pain in the arse (trust me, I know!) and the last thing you need is stress and anxiety about this!! Good luck.

MysticalSoul

I am a trainee counsellor myself, and insofar as possible, it is normal practice to have a closure session, and yes, if you have been paying up till now, you would be expected to pay, as you are paying for her time, and in most cases she would be paying rent on the room, so would need to cover her own costs.

mrsberries

Lis21830 wrote: »

Just my tuppence worth OP: as a ex counsellee myself, my counsellor suggested it was time for me to go and I agreed. However, he suggested that should I feel the need, to call him and I could go back to him whenever I wanted to. And I did. I called it a "top up session" and he said it is super common-sort of a way to recharge the skills you learned the first time around.

So, I think you are doing what is right for you and that is great. If you want to prioritise your money for your wedding, that is your choice and nobody has the right to say whether that is right or wrong. Counselling in this country is very very expensive and even the VHI manages to get out of paying you back for it, so if you look at it in PURELY financial terms, it sort of is a luxury.

I think everyone should also remember, that this is a business arrangement. The counsellor is not doing this for free and I am sure the OP is paying a lot for her services. The counsellor is not doing her a favour and therefore, if the OP wishes to stop seeing her, the last thing she should worry about is her counsellor's feelings.

OP, enjoy the build up to the wedding. Stress and anxiety is an awful pain in the arse (trust me, I know!) and the last thing you need is stress and anxiety about this!! Good luck.

Thanks for that. Apologies if I offended anyone by saying counselling was a luxury..it easily has been the best thing Ive ever done and has helped me hugely. Im not swapping it for wedding savings as it may sound, Im in debt at the moment what with paying for wedding related stuff (and Im having a small wedding :eek: ) and boyf's job is on the line...it was stressing me out having to dish out money that could feed me for three weeks per session. I only made the decision as I feel at this stage when I can "fly the nest" as such. No doubt I will return for top-up sessions, but not in the next couple of months.

opinion guy

No sorry this seems strange to me. If you agreed by phone not to come back then this is weird. If its free, fair enough maybe, but clarify that.