Sex Sandals

coldfire1x

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!"

So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them. He was satisfied with things they way they were. The Jamaican quickly figured out the wife felt like she was getting the short end of the stick, so to speak.

The wife asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

The Jamaican replied, "Tell him to just try dem on, Lady." So the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on.

As soon as the husband slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes. There was a level of excitement his wife hadn't seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

The Jamaican began screaming, "You got dem on the wrong feet! You got dem on the wrong feet!"

---

he Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase, "Tutti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind.

A women's rights group approached the Pope the next day. They noticed that the Pope blessed all Mankind, but not Womankind.

The next day, after His sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tutti Homini, et Tutti Femini" - Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.

The next day, a gay-rights group approached the Pope.
They said that they noticed that he blessed man kind and woman kind, and asked if he could also bless gay people.

The Pope said, "Sure".

The next day, the Pope concluded his sermon with, "Tutti Homini, et Tutti Femini, et Tutti Fruiti."

NeVeR

cough .... ummm .... cough

x PyRo

Not even one bit funny.

Where's the no-thanks button ?.

Dave147

WTF? That wasn't a joke was it? Are you in the wrong forum?

coldfire1x

Dave147 wrote: »

WTF? That wasn't a joke was it? Are you in the wrong forum?

I see how many times you appreciate if you see a good joke

But if you dont like something (and probably taking cue from others), you sure do leave a comment. :rolleyes:

Yeah WTF?

NeVeR

ahh he changed what he had there... thats how bad it was. !!

Dj Stiggie

Did anyone else misread the thread title ... Only to be greatly disappointed?

coldfire1x

NeVeR wrote: »

ahh he changed what he had there... thats how bad it was. !!

And whats your point?? You seem to be old enough member to know the rules.

IF you dont like the joke then stay away from the thread :rolleyes:

Dave147

coldfire1x wrote: »

And whats your point?? You seem to be old enough member to know the rules.

IF you dont like the joke then stay away from the thread :rolleyes:

Shut up and stop acting the muppet, you had something there that was absolutely ridiculous, nobody in the world would have considered it a joke. Then you go change it..

Rabies

Right....

Quit your bitching all of you.
Look at the charter!!!

coldfire1x

Rabies wrote: »

Right....

Quit your bitching all of you.
Look at the charter!!!

Exactly... I have read the charter. There wasnt any offensive material posted in the first place. And I admit it may not be hilarious, not all the jokes are.

Now the charter says:

Also folks - I do not want to see abuse because you didn't like their joke or it's been posted before. Even if this is the worst joke you've ever heard, please don't make a post saying "That's crap!" or whatever. Instead, please use the rating system build into the boards software (you'll see it at the top of a thread - choose from 1 to 5 stars of a rating).

This is what I was pointing to him. He is an old member so he should know about it. Instead of asking me to shut up and posting "That's crap!" (literally) he can just use the rating system.