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mid life crisis

  • 17-11-2009 9:44am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi everyone, goin unreg for this.
    as you can tell from the title i feel like im going through a mid life crisis of sorts, an early mid life crisis i suppose. this may turn into a rant or a ramble but i need to get it off my chest and welcome any comments.
    im 27, in college, live with my girlfriend, have loads of great friends, kinda seems like what have i got to complain about. il go throiugh them all one by one.

    im 27 and i feel like iv done nothing with my life and its creeping up on me fast, im in college in an industry(construction) where there is zero possibility of getting a job when i finish. i see my friends from school getting married, buying houses/cars, going on holidays and im not doing any of those, not that i should but when you see all your friends doing it its hard not to think, "where did i go wrong" im still buying tesco value food and scrimping on money for college.

    and as for college i feel like iv lost interest in my course, its a very stressful course, im puting in 12 hour days and still struggling at it, but im in my degree year so i cant quit now. but its just so hard because iv lost all motivation for it, all interest in it. i dont know if its college is making me not happy in my 'outside college life' or the opposite way around.

    iv been going out with my girlfriend for over a year and we have no sex life anymore, i always thought it would take longer than that. we've talked about it and said we'd make more of an effort but still no change, im at the stage where i am tired of trying to initiate(if thats the right word)sex because i no it wont happen. my girlfriend does work long hours and i know she is tired from work, i fully understand that but its down to sex maybe once/twice a month.

    this then is leading to another problem, because i have no sex life my mind is starting to wander and think about having sex with other women and im finding it harder and harder to trust myself anymore, i dont think i would but i feel like my life is so messed up that i dont know what i will do. i dont believe in myself anymore, i dont trust myself anymore, i dont know what im going to do, i cant see any end to any of this, i dont know if i can finsih college or what'll happen if i do. i want to run away from all of this but i know that wont solve anything.

    i feel like im losing the run of my life and cant control it anymore.

    sorry if this seem like a rant but i needed to say it all.


Comments

  • #2
    MadMoss
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86 ✭✭MadMoss


    unreguser wrote: »

    im in college in an industry(construction) where there is zero possibility of getting a job when i finish.

    I also work in the construction industry. There is an issue with jobs in the construction industry at the moment but it is not he worst industry in Ireland to be affected by job losses. Read the ESRI reports, they are avaialble from their website http://www.esri.ie/. They feel that the construction industry is due to make a substantial comeback from 2014 to 2020 mostly due to growing population and infrastructure development. I personally think that things will not be as bad as they are now by September 2010 and that will be when you will be looking for a job, if the job front is still in the toilet by then why not take the opertunity to do a masters?
    unreguser wrote: »
    i see my friends from school getting married, buying houses/cars, going on holidays and im not doing any of those, not that i should but when you see all your friends doing it its hard not to think, "where did i go wrong" im still buying tesco value food and scrimping on money for college.
    That's what happens when you're in college. Education for my own career came late for me too, but I have no regrets.
    unreguser wrote: »
    and as for college i feel like iv lost interest in my course, its a very stressful course, im puting in 12 hour days and still struggling at it, but im in my degree year so i cant quit now. but its just so hard because iv lost all motivation for it, all interest in it. i dont know if its college is making me not happy in my 'outside college life' or the opposite way around.
    I know how hard a construction degree can be. There are seriously high work loads. Construction indusrty third level courses are reputed to be the most difficult in terms of the workload involved. Be proud to have got this far.
    unreguser wrote: »
    iv been going out with my girlfriend for over a year and we have no sex life anymore, i always thought it would take longer than that. we've talked about it and said we'd make more of an effort but still no change, im at the stage where i am tired of trying to initiate(if thats the right word)sex because i no it wont happen. my girlfriend does work long hours and i know she is tired from work, i fully understand that but its down to sex maybe once/twice a month.

    this then is leading to another problem, because i have no sex life my mind is starting to wander and think about having sex with other women and im finding it harder and harder to trust myself anymore, i dont think i would but i feel like my life is so messed up that i dont know what i will do. i dont believe in myself anymore, i dont trust myself anymore, i dont know what im going to do, i cant see any end to any of this, i dont know if i can finsih college or what'll happen if i do. i want to run away from all of this but i know that wont solve anything.

    This is an issue which someone else would be able to offer much better advice. But in my opinion, communication is the key to succesful relationship, even when both of you are under stress. Tell her how you feel, ask her how she feels. (Although I would not tell her you fantasise about other women.;))


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