Chapters from my new book!

'scorthy

[FONT=&quot] Highlights include;[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Maxfli from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker (also seeChapter 8)
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.
Chapter 10 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 13 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee
Chapter 14 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
Chapter 16 - When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]:D
[/FONT]

conno16

presumably thats only volume one
its shaping up well though
beats reading rotella anyways

Kevinmarkham

I recognise a couple of those as Lee Trevino's quips. One of the funniest men in golf and always worth repeating.

I take it you decided that chapters 9, 11, 12 and 15 weren't worthy of inclusion!

'scorthy

[FONT=&quot] Also includes the latest GOLF terms[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Diegio Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O. J. Simpson - got away with it
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left
A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
An elephant's arse - high and sh*tty
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target

[/FONT]

SWAR

'scorthy wrote: »

[font=&quot] Also includes the latest GOLF terms[/font]
[font=&quot] A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner [/font]
[font=&quot] A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole[/font]
[font=&quot] A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer[/font]
[font=&quot] A Diegio Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer [/font]
[font=&quot] A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read[/font]
[font=&quot] A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out[/font]
[font=&quot] A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't [/font]
[font=&quot] A Cuban - needs one more revolution[/font]
[font=&quot] An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim[/font]
[font=&quot] An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker [/font]
[font=&quot] A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand[/font]
[font=&quot] A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect[/font]
[font=&quot] A Kate Moss - bit thin[/font]
[font=&quot] A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional[/font]
[font=&quot] A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water[/font]
[font=&quot] An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result[/font]
[font=&quot] A Rodney King - over-clubbed[/font]
[font=&quot] An O. J. Simpson - got away with it [/font]
[font=&quot] A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner [/font]
[font=&quot] A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver [/font]
[font=&quot] A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver[/font]
[font=&quot] A Robin Cook - just died on the hill[/font]
[font=&quot] A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs [/font]
[font=&quot] An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you [/font]
[font=&quot] A Ken Livingstone - quite far left[/font]
[font=&quot] A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right[/font]
[font=&quot] A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems [/font]
[font=&quot] An elephant's arse - high and sh*tty[/font]
[font=&quot] A condom - safe but didn't feel real good[/font]
[font=&quot] A circus tent - a BIG top[/font]
[font=&quot] An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result [/font]
[font=&quot] A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it [/font]
[font=&quot] A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target[/font]

You forgot the David O'Leary - it wasn't my fault, it was the club