Crappy World

LegacyUser

I am a male in my mid 20's and I've become somewhat dissillusioned with this crappy world that we live in, I have some gay tendencies which I have never really acted on but because of this I've pretty much outcasted myself from every person I have ever known, I am attracted to women but people always just seem to refer to me as ''gay'' (I sometimes overhear people talking about me). Being an Irish man I really have problems talking about anything regarding emotions so I never talk to anyone about this, I have pretty much made myself emotionally numb at this stage just so that I wont feel anything, no sadness or no joy, just apathy the whole time.
In this country there is just this whole stigma about being gay and I find myself in a position where people terrorise me because I don't fit with the norm, probably because these people are complete morons, but also because people are just scared of anything that is different. I suppose I just want to fit in and that is impossible, so much so that sometimes I just think about ending it all and with me being atheist I really do consider it the end, one way ticket.

tominkerry

Generalisations are not doing you any good. You are an individual who is close to being clinically depressed. Find a good therapist and start slowly opening up. Do it today

Dwn Wth Vwls

When it gets to the point that you're feeling suicidal, you really need to seek out professional help. For people in Western Europe, the world is generally a pretty great place. You just need to find the things and people that make you happy. Find someone to talk to and let them help you figure out how to be happy. If you give a location I'll look for you.

Cinnomen

aww hun I know there are some real narrow minded horrid people out there that spat words without considering how it will affect the person on the receiving end.
Im not sure how old you are? but as hard as it is and I know its easy for me to say this you need to think "STUFF YOU" I AM WHO I AM. Everyone is different, they are the weak ones they are the ones that are in the wrong because they cannot accept someone who is different from themselves, you know what it is? most of the time they dont understand something so they turn against the person making fun rather then take the time to understand someone or a situation.
Emo, Goth, Gay, Black, White We are all human and I believe in this with a passion, please remember for the many nasty spiteful people in the world there are those that care and there is always someone else who feels just the same way you do.
Be strong and feel free to message me anytime if you need to rant or someone to talk to.
I just know you have it within you to get through you just need to find it.
*hugs* xxx

shoegirl

AnonAnone wrote: »

I am a male in my mid 20's and I've become somewhat dissillusioned with this crappy world that we live in

You might find this useful - its based on a book by Kate Bornstein called "Hello Cruel World", and its for outlaws of gender norms who are feeling pretty **** about themselves. Its actually a wonderful book too, if you don't feel like living at the beginning you do start to question the value system etc around you and start to look for coping strategies that might work better for you rather than accepting the crap.

Believe me, being gay isn't the bed of roses some people paint it up to be, personally I find a lot wrong with some of the gay communities (and on the other hand a lot of wonderful people and networks).
What I like about Bornstein's advice is how she advocates getting away from traditional either/or binaries and starting to build your own value system where you can value yourself and concentrate on getting rid of the parts of yourself you don't like, in other words, learning to be kind to yourself and others.

Beruthiel

AnonAnone wrote: »

I am a male in my mid 20's and I've become somewhat dissillusioned with this crappy world that we live in, I have some gay tendencies which I have never really acted on but because of this I've pretty much outcasted myself from every person I have ever known

Honey you deserve to be happy.
That will not happen until you can love yourself as you are and throw caution to the wind.
Screw what others think or say.
Once I cared what others thought of me but I learned a long time ago that if you don't like me I don't care because I'm very happy with myself.

Find yourself a professional and talk your heart out.
The world can be a wonderful place if you are full of the joys of life.
Go find yourself.
You have nothing to loose.