Long distance relationships

Sexynurse

Is it unreasonable for a girl to want to spend Saturday with her boyfriend after being the whole week away in college???
The thing is one of his best friends is away in college too and he likes going out with him on Saturday night!!
I feel so torn!!. I don't want to be the girlfriend who tells her boyfriend what to do and not see his friends but its just so hard when Saturday is our only night we can spend together!?!?

The Big Red Button

Well, if you're in the same country and can see each other every weekend, it's not exactly long distance in my opinion!

If it's a once-off then I wouldn't be too bothered, if he's doing it all the time then I'd consider it a bit crap of him. If you're not going to see him at all the rest of the weekend.

I'm in a similar position, I'm only home at weekends, I see as much of my boyfriend as I can when I'm home and if he was going out with the lads on a Saturday night he'd invite me and my friends along. If I'm not home, he usually comes to stay with me on Saturday nights.

Any reason you can't go out with him as well? Seems to be the most obvious solution!

Madame Razz

chatterpillar wrote: »

Well, if you're in the same country and can see each other every weekend, it's not exactly long distance in my opinion!

+1

magneticimpulse

forget him and move on. i was in similar situation when i was in college. guy always had other plans to meet friends on saturday night. if he was really interested he would move heaven and earth to meet you. he just doesnt seem really bothered to be in a relationship and just stringing you along. theres no reason why you couldnt go out altogether as a group with his friends...and again this shows that hes not interested in having a proper relationship.

cazmcco

no its not unreasonable. if he thinks that you are being unreasonable for wanting that then i would advise you to re-think your relationship with him, especially if its the only time you get with each other.

I used to be in a similar situation to the OP when my boyfriend was in college. for us Saturday night and Sunday before he went back to college was the main time that we saw each other.

occasionally other things would crop up for a Saturday night, he'd play football with the lads -id go over to his later, when he was working on a Saturday night - id go out with the girls and call out to his when the night was over and if it was that he was going out with the lads, id usually get together with the girls and we would all head out together.
It would all depend on the situation, but we would normally make the effort in some way to see each other.

as for whether its a LDR, Id say that it could be called a semi LDR.

cyning

I used be in exactly this situation: I was in college, would go home at the weekend and he would go out with his friends EVERY Sat night. We never had anytime alone: basically in the end we broke up specifically because he wouldn't make anytime for me alone his friends came first... Time alone is really important if ye don't have that what can come from the relationship?

mood

chatterpillar wrote: »

Well, if you're in the same country and can see each other every weekend, it's not exactly long distance in my opinion!

If it's a once-off then I wouldn't be too bothered, if he's doing it all the time then I'd consider it a bit crap of him. If you're not going to see him at all the rest of the weekend.

I'm in a similar position, I'm only home at weekends, I see as much of my boyfriend as I can when I'm home and if he was going out with the lads on a Saturday night he'd invite me and my friends along. If I'm not home, he usually comes to stay with me on Saturday nights.

Any reason you can't go out with him as well? Seems to be the most obvious solution!

This is a great example of how it can work. However, if he or you are not willing to do this then move on.

cyning

mood wrote: »

This is a great example of how it can work. However, if he or you are not willing to do this then move on.

But should he not make time for her alone with no friends around?

mood

cyning wrote: »

But should he not make time for her alone with no friends around?

If he went to see her some weekends wouldn't they be alone then! At the moment it sounds like he puts his friends first. Spending time with her and his friends at the same time would be essential progress IMO.

cyning

mood wrote: »

If he went to see her some weekends wouldn't they be alone then! At the moment it sounds like he puts his friends first. Spending time with her and his friends at the same time would be essential progress IMO.

Some progress but not enough, I think. If your ina relationship you have to make sacriices, you don't abandon your friends but you HAVE to make time alone for your OH