nothing happening for me.....

LegacyUser

dunno where to start, lets just say i am really really p*ssed off with being single, its really getting me down. im 27 now and i've been single for nearly a year and a half. my last relationship lasted 4 and a half years, i was mad about the girl, really didnt want to lose her but in the end i did, i still think sometimes maybe i could have done more to make it work, yet other times i know deep down i am who i am and if it wasnt meant to be it wasnt meant to be and am angry with her that it wasnt enough for her

there are 2 things going on at the moment, it took me a long time to get over the ex but i have......well i think i have. i am really ready to start seeing someone and put the thought of my ex behind me, but nothing is happening and hasn't been happening for me for months and months and it results in me thinking bout how i hate/miss my ex and how much i wished it could have worked. she is now going out with someone since we broke up and has been for a while so getting back in any sort of contact is a no go, it would get me no where!! i am definite if i was going out with someone i wouldnt even think about her half as much as i still am. i miss her because i am single.

this brings me onto my other problem, i have no confidence when it comes to making the move with women. i get on very well with women, im very friendly and chatty and in general they usually like me. thing is i always fall into the friendzone and have never been able to make the move. truth be known, any women i have ever been with have usually made the move on me cause i havent done anything in the first place. i just dont know how to "seal the deal". the other thing is, i NEVER get with strangers, any women i ever click with are always people i work with or are friends who know me. i just cant score strangers on nights out.

sorry for the rant, but just need to get it off my chest. i really am sad about the whole thing and it gets me sooo down.....i miss my ex, i miss her company and i miss doing things together, i am also sad that it didnt work out when i really thought we where good together. i honestly am ready to meet someone else and go out, its not happening though and even if there is someone i like i dont know how to make the move and i eventually fall into the friendzone. i am doing all the things that have people would suggest, like joining a club, doing new things....and i have met women i like in them, i just cant make the move cause the only thing going on in my head is the like me as a friend!!!

Hallo World

2 things stike me here..

you have unresolved issues with the ex.. yep, bein single would make ya think of her more, but ya seriously gotta try curb those thoughts..

2nd.. ya meeting women ya like and ya thinking they only like you as a friend.. change your thinking. you meet women you like you gotta be able to think that they like you as a BOYFRIEND... smile, polite conversation to start things off, as that progresses go for coffee, lunch, even a movie if it makes ya feel more comfortable. Ya gotta start working on your confidence now. That may be whats lacking. Start saying hello to women in random situations, supermarkets, coffee shops, if ya have to, practice a smile and a 'hello' in the mirror at home.. then do that (it works, believe me!)..

You are possibly coming across as 'friend' material, cos thats how ya view yourself.. change your thinking change your life.. and remember things can change in a second and someone will walk into your life that makes you realise why it didn't work with anyone before them!!!..

LegacyUser

op here....

thanks halo for the reply. when i do meet women, i have no problem making conversation with them, im definitly not uncomfortable with them or anything like that, in fact quite the opposite. And in my head i am thinking of them as potential gf's because i do like them. But as i chat to them, getting to know them, i fall into the friendzone very quickly and quickly become reluctant to make the move on to the next step because i have become friendly with them.

in relation to the ex, i honestly dont think there are issues with her, its more the fact that because i've been single for a long time i miss that company of being with someone, and yes i did care for her alot.

so just wondering has anyone been in similar situation, as a result of being single for a long time, it has prevented you getting over an ex?

LegacyUser

Hi op,

I can really relate to your situation as that's pretty much where I am now, except with less mates. I've often been told that maybe I fall into the friendzone too easily. As someone very
wise said around here before, most people out there just bull**** the confidence. After a while of this, it comes naturally. I'd suggest you have a little think about your abilities and strenghts. It's not just fellas that want to find someone to be with, arguably females want
this more. And they're the ones who traditionally wait to be approached! The poor f's.

By making a move and testing the water, you'd be doing her a favour. Think about all the
qualitites you could bring to a relationship. Here's another quote "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" (Wayne Gretzky), though he probably meant it literally. Good luck.