is he gone off me?

paddles

going out with a lovely guy for nearly 7 months. has always been really good, IMO. but in the past 2 weeks, it just doesn't seem as good. i'm crazy about him but i feel he's pulling away a bit. less chatty. doesn't seem in as good form. so far, i've been ignoring it as it's new ground and hoping our next time will be ok. but i'm feeling awful and really insecure. i know i need to ask him is anything up but i think i'm afraid of what i might hear. we haven't had ANY issues or arguments. the main vibe i'm getting is that he just doesn't seem as happy in himself around me.

do people ever just go off the boil temporarily? i don't want to make an issue too soon either as it's only a recent thing. i'm terrified that he's losing interest cos i don't know what i'd do without him.

cosmic

I wouldn't worry that it's anything to do with you, there's a million reasons he could be acting differently!

Maybe he's stressed at work. Or maybe he's worrying about money. Or maybe he has some stuff going on at home. It could be anything. Ask him what's been wrong and how you can help and tell him that you're always there for him. I'm sure he'll appreciate it... more than you not saying anything at all.

daisybelle2008

paddles wrote: »

going out with a lovely guy for nearly 7 months. has always been really good, IMO. but in the past 2 weeks, it just doesn't seem as good. i'm crazy about him but i feel he's pulling away a bit. less chatty. doesn't seem in as good form. so far, i've been ignoring it as it's new ground and hoping our next time will be ok. but i'm feeling awful and really insecure. i know i need to ask him is anything up but i think i'm afraid of what i might hear. we haven't had ANY issues or arguments. the main vibe i'm getting is that he just doesn't seem as happy in himself around me.

do people ever just go off the boil temporarily? i don't want to make an issue too soon either as it's only a recent thing. i'm terrified that he's losing interest cos i don't know what i'd do without him.

He might be sensing your dependence and finds it suffocating and is subconciously be pulling away. Maybe be a little more self sufficient that way you won't be so insecure and clingy. It may be a temporary thing but I think that somewhat depends on your reaction. If your insecurity causes you to get more desperate and needy it will mean he will pull away more.
the fact you are terrified and don't know what you will do without him after 7 months does signal a lack of independence on your part which is in your control to fix for your own good not just his.

paddles

"i'm terrified that he's losing interest cos i don't know what i'd do without him. "

reading this again makes me cringe cos it's bit over-dramatic. i am very independent. we only see each other at w'ends and during the week i'm very busy and involved in sport and drama. i still make w'end plans with my friends - and do a full w'end in about 6 away from my BF. i won't see him the next 2 w'ends cos i'm busy with my stuff. he lives where i'm from so even when i'm home, i divide my time with him and my family so i don't think i'm dependent.

i'm just hoping that i don't lose him cos he's the best guy i've met in years and i know i would be devastated if it sisn't work out, that's all.

the above does sound very clingy and needy.

i'm just a worried and wanted to get it off my chest...

Hallo World

ask him ask him ask him, the amount of relationships that seem to go south cos people wouldn't talk to each other when there was a little or even non existent issue is starting to actually fascinate me...

other posters have pointed out, theres possibly other issues at play here.. maybe you can help him on them, since you ARE a couple!!!

also, honeymoon period can start to end from 6 months.. could you just be reading it wrong and he's settling into the comfortably quiet (but still delighted to be around you)phase?? (just a thought!)

LegacyUser

its crazy hearing this cause im pretty sure im in the exact same position as your bf!we have had a totally amazing year together.hes an amazing guy but in the last couple of weeks ive been feeling numb about the whole thing.

when he says he loves me i dont want to say it back, even though i do.he says im acting wierd lately but i always use the excuse of being tired or just not in a good mood......sounds like your bf is acting just the same?

the reality is i feel like im falling out of love with him. im too afraid to do anything about it til it gets worse cause he'll take it badly......

i think you should just say it straight out and ask him where he thinks the relationship is going?


hope this helps.ask anything else youre questioning too