Cant do it doggy style :(

LegacyUser

So going unreg for this one!

Ok so my issue is that I have just met this amazing man, everything is great between us etc The other night was the first time we had sex and it was great. I have a high sex drive and am very adventurous in bed, all good. My issue/problem is that there is one position I cant do as it just hurts and that is doggy style, its hard to describe where it hurts but lower abdomen is the best description I can come up with. By hurt, I mean oh my god someone is stabbing me hurt. This is an issue I have had all my life (so its not penis size related, its my thing) and I have had partners who I have been honest with over it and then partners where I literally grin and bare it as im too ashamed to admit the truth. It has never been the no1 position with ex partners so it was "manageable".

I feel that this new relationship is going to be a long term thing and I really don't want to start it off by lying, but im kind of stuck as to how to bring up the topic and admit I cant do this position, without sounding like Im broken! I know guys like the position, but I also feel that my new man would understand and not be bothered by it really if I tell him the truth. But how do I tell him the truth? Before we get naked again, while naked or when I have wiped tears from my eyes?

shellyboo

Before you get naked again! Never talk about sexual issues in a sexual context, it's too heated.

I don't get what the big deal is, it hurts me too so I don't do it for more than a minute or two. I'm not sure what exactly the problem is, I know my cervix lies at a weird angle so that could be it. But what exactly is so shameful? Everyone is different, some people prefer different positions to others. I think you're being melodramatic by describing your vagina as 'broken'. Providing you've been to a gynecologist and everything looks alright, it's probably just not a good position for you. Just mention it sometime you're not having sex.

shellyboo

[quote=[Deleted User];62973827]I don't get what the big deal is, it hurts me too so I don't do it for more than a minute or two. I'm not sure what exactly the problem is, I know my cervix lies at a weird angle so that could be it. But what exactly is so shameful? Everyone is different, some people prefer different positions to others. I think you're being melodramatic by describing your vagina as 'broken'. Providing you've been to a gynecologist and everything looks alright, it's probably just not a good position for you. Just mention it sometime you're not having sex.[/quote]


Yep, this too actually. No big deal at all!

LegacyUser

[quote=[Deleted User];62973827]I don't get what the big deal is, it hurts me too so I don't do it for more than a minute or two. I'm not sure what exactly the problem is, I know my cervix lies at a weird angle so that could be it. But what exactly is so shameful? Everyone is different, some people prefer different positions to others. I think you're being melodramatic by describing your vagina as 'broken'. Providing you've been to a gynecologist and everything looks alright, it's probably just not a good position for you. Just mention it sometime you're not having sex.[/QUOTE]

The thing is i dont want to do it at all, you may be fine with doing it for a min or two and it hurting, but i like to enjoy sex and not hurt at all.

If your not sure what exactly my problem is, why did you comment?

If i knew you would of taken the username broken vagina literally, i wouldnt of used it, it is simply a phrase i used, i dont think im broken, its just a silly username.

LegacyUser

OP I actually find you post rather disturbing, not because I think there's anything wrong with you at all but because you seem to have a very odd attitude to sex and shame.

I mean come on, there's one sexual position you don't want to do out of a whole plethora of possible sexual positions and you think this makes you 'broken'? You think there's something shameful in this?? We all have preferences in terms of sex, where they're based on what you find uncomfortable or just what you enjoy more. Your preferences is no stranger then any one elses (and much less strange then most). I can't see anyone having a serious problem with it (unless they had a particular fetish for this position, which most don't).

The idea that you would put yourself through agonising pain while having sex rather then admit that you didn't like one particular sexual position is beyond me. You do know you're suppose to enjoy sex??

If I was you I wouldn't feel the need to mention this at all, just wait till you are next having sex and if this position is suggested say that you don't like it suggest something else. I would be hugely surprised if the person you were having sex with would have a problem with this.

KiLLeR CoUCh

Surely all that needs to be said is "I don't like that position"...?

OK, let's take this down a notch ... I can only assume you've had bad reactions before which have led you to believe that this is a big deal and will be an issue for your partner.

Let me assure that not being prepared (for whatEVER reason) to do ONE particular position will not be an "issue" for your partner. You have a high sex drive and you're adventurous in bed ... my guess is he'll be too busy ticking off the list of the numerous other positions you guys can try.

I agree with shellyboo that you should never discuss sexual issues when naked, but this is not an "issue" and if he begins to manouevre you into this position I see no harm in simply saying "nah, rather not, let's try this instead ...!" WOO HOO!

LegacyUser

lala13 wrote: »

OP I actually find you post rather disturbing, not because I think there's anything wrong with you at all but because you seem to have a very odd attitude to sex and shame.

I mean come on, there's one sexual position you don't want to do out of a whole plethora of possible sexual positions and you think this makes you 'broken'? You think there's something shameful in this?? We all have preferences in terms of sex, where they're based on what you find uncomfortable or just what you enjoy more. Your preferences is no stranger then any one elses (and much less strange then most). I can't see anyone having a serious problem with it (unless they had a particular fetish for this position, which most don't).

The idea that you would put yourself through agonising pain while having sex rather then admit that you didn't like one particular sexual position is beyond me. You do know you're suppose to enjoy sex??

If I was you I wouldn't feel the need to mention this at all, just wait till you are next having sex and if this position is suggested say that you don't like it suggest something else. I would be hugely surprised if the person you were having sex with would have a problem with this.

I am not ashamed of anything, i am embarrassed by it not ashamed. To say i have an odd attitude to sex and shame is extreme!!

Yes i am fully aware i am ment to enjoy sex and have no issue with the big O, im highly sexed and easily turned on. I said i used to just grin and bare it, used to is past tense, i was 19 at the time, im 35 now, i was giving you my history, i didnt expect you to take it as something i do now.

Also when im having sex, me or my partner dont normally sit down and plan positions or verbally suggest them while having sex, it normally is something that happens during the session naturally as we flip from one position to the next. As i also said i know my latest man wouldnt have a problem with it, i was asking for tips on how to bring it up.

shellyboo

Tips on how to bring it up - well, how about "Sex in doggy position is paiinful for me, so I'd rather us not use that position".


Really, OP, if you're as highly sexed and open minded as you claim, talking about this stuff shouldn't be an issue for you at all. Just tell him.

LegacyUser

shellyboo wrote: »

Tips on how to bring it up - well, how about "Sex in doggy position is paiinful for me, so I'd rather us not use that position".


Really, OP, if you're as highly sexed and open minded as you claim, talking about this stuff shouldn't be an issue for you at all. Just tell him.

Thanks for that tip shellyboo.

Sorry i didnt realise that to be highly sexed and open minded i also couldnt feel embarrassed about one aspect with a new partner. Talking about stuff with friends or people i have been with awhile is no problem, this is a new partner. I will call myself a prude in future!

OS119

OP, if you add 'because you're so fecking massive - i think you're going to split me in half!' to shellyboo's suggestion you'll not hear a peep of dissention out of him!

joking aside, might it be worth - assuming you've not already - getting it checked out? discomfort is one thing, outright screaming agony is something else - one of my ex's had a similar, but not nearly as violent, reaction to doggy style and upon further investigation it turned out to be a cyst that didn't 'show' when we used other positions... don't want to worry you, but agony is somewhat outside the normal range of reactions to various sexual positions.

LegacyUser

OS119 wrote: »

OP, if you add 'because you're so fecking massive - i think you're going to split me in half!' to shellyboo's suggestion you'll not hear a peep of dissention out of him!

joking aside, might it be worth - assuming you've not already - getting it checked out? discomfort is one thing, outright screaming agony is something else - one of my ex's had a similar, but not nearly as violent, reaction to doggy style and upon further investigation it turned out to be a cyst that didn't 'show' when we used other positions... don't want to worry you, but agony is somewhat outside the normal range of reactions to various sexual positions.

Great advise re the add-on and not to far from the truth either!!!

I have had it checked out and i have endometriosis, but operations have not improved that one aspect, i would of had scans for cysts at the same time too and nothing showed. I do appreciate your thoughts and comments on it, so thank you!

krudler

Nothing wrong with it, i sure as hell wouldnt want to be hurting my girlfriend if a particular position was uncomfortable for her, and she'd feel the same for me, just say it hurts and let that be it, if he cares he wont mind, there are dozens of other positions you can do

Broken vagina

Broken vagina wrote: »

The thing is i dont want to do it at all, you may be fine with doing it for a min or two and it hurting, but i like to enjoy sex and not hurt at all.

If your not sure what exactly my problem is, why did you comment?

If i knew you would of taken the username broken vagina literally, i wouldnt of used it, it is simply a phrase i used, i dont think im broken, its just a silly username.

I meant that I don't think it is a problem, obviously! I have the same thing and I've never considered it a problem. A minor inconvenience, yes. You can enjoy sex in one of the many other positions that aren't doggy style. What I found really odd was the sense of shame in telling your partner. It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. You don't need to make it into some big confession. I don't remember telling any of my partners, yet they knew I wasn't really into it. I guess whenever it was mentioned, I just suggested something else and they got the message.

LegacyUser

i don't like that position either, it's the only one i've tried to date that i find too uncomfortable- the pentration is too deep or s'thing- not sure what it is. i did it a couple of times w my BF cos i know he llikes it but it got to the point where i just couldn't and had to stop. i just said that sometimes that position was a bit uncomfortable for me and he was fine. poor guy said, god i don't want to do anything u don't enjoy and that was that. we do lots of dif positions. i did find it hard to bring up, especially having "tolerated" it a couple of times but i had to come clean.
it's the only thing i've had difficulty with and tbh, i think u have to be able to talk about what works and what doesn't. don't suffer in silence