Cheated on my GF

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

As the title says, I cheated on my gf last weekend and have been racked with guilt since. I spoke to my friends last night in the pub and they all agree that I should say nothing although 2 of the girls gave me a bollickin.

My friends have pretty much all cheated on there gfs in the past too so they are hypocrites. The girl I was with was just some random girl in a bar but she was so sexy and I was drunk. That's a tough combination. I honestly believe all men cheat and women are naive if they think otherwise. Even the quiet guys are doing it.

Should I tell her about this? She is mad about me and will go nuts at first but I know she'll forgive me making me resoect her even less.

I know I sound cruel but I'm actually a good guy. I don't see the point in sugar coating this.

I knwo you'll say break up with her and believe me I have done in the past but she takes it sooo badly, tears, tantrums, constant phonecalls that it's easier to stay with her. She's happy with me even if i amn't with her. It's less selfish staying with her in a weird way.

Thanks.

BraziliaNZ

petethecheat wrote: »

Should I tell her about this? She is mad about me and will go nuts at first but I know she'll forgive me making me resoect her even less.

You wont get an ounce of sympathy here after that clanger. Just tell her the truth and let her get on with her life without you.

Kimia

In fairness Pete, what do you want us to say? That's you're some sort of long-suffering boyfriend and you don't want to be with her anyway so that justifies cheating?

To me all it says is that you have no respect for your girlfriend but also perhaps even less respect for yourself if you have absolutely no b&lls to leave someone you don't care about and who you know you'll never love. Easy road for you it seems.

Best of luck. Carry on.

Johnnnybravo

First of all Pete, not all guys cheat..............:rolleyes:

Secondly I think you need to end it with her, I know shes taken it badly in the past but over time she will get over it. As horrible as it sounds maybe telling her you cheated will show her just how unhappy with her you are.

I think the only real solution is end it with her. How old are ye?

shellyboo

Sounds to me as if you've your mind made up to continue lying and cheating. Nothing we're going to say will change your mind. Tell her, don't tell her - does it matter? You seem to have everything organised just the way you want it.

How Soon Is Now

This is why its so bloody hard to find a women out there who dont judge me like rest the ones who cheated on her :rolleyes:

Look if u cheat on someone whats point being with them drunk or not you know what your doing your not stupid its just clear that you almost feel you could get away with it.

Do her and the actual decent men who dont cheat on women and just finish with the girl she will get over you no matter how heart breaking it is to lose such a wonder person like yourself :rolleyes:

dublingal80

petethecheat wrote: »

Hi Guys,

As the title says, I cheated on my gf last weekend and have been racked with guilt since. I spoke to my friends last night in the pub and they all agree that I should say nothing although 2 of the girls gave me a bollickin.

My friends have pretty much all cheated on there gfs in the past too so they are hypocrites. The girl I was with was just some random girl in a bar but she was so sexy and I was drunk. That's a tough combination. I honestly believe all men cheat and women are naive if they think otherwise. Even the quiet guys are doing it.

Should I tell her about this? She is mad about me and will go nuts at first but I know she'll forgive me making me resoect her even less.

I know I sound cruel but I'm actually a good guy. I don't see the point in sugar coating this.

I knwo you'll say break up with her and believe me I have done in the past but she takes it sooo badly, tears, tantrums, constant phonecalls that it's easier to stay with her. She's happy with me even if i amn't with her. It's less selfish staying with her in a weird way.

Thanks.

oh my god!! you are unbelieveable!! just because you and your friends are sleazes and cheat on your girlfriends, you think that everyone out there does? I dont think so sunny jim!

you honestly dont seemed too bothered about your girlfiriend, 1- you cheated on her and 2-you dont want to tell her cos she will stay with you and you will resepct her less for that!! - And you say you are a good guy!?!?!

Tell her, let her have her tears, tantrums and just let her move on!! she deserves someone a million times better than you. yeah she will want to take you back but do the girl a favour and dont!! you are just going to hurt her more in the long run

seahorse

petethecheat wrote: »

I honestly believe all men cheat and women are naive if they think otherwise.

You're wrong there and if you'd had a single decent relationship in your life you wouldn't need that pointed out to you.

Hallo World

Right, I'm a guy.. and heres my 2 cents.. cos I am ABSOLUTELY FUMING reading your post..

I spoke to my friends last night in the pub and they all agree that I should say nothing
if you're friends told you to jump off a cliff? would you? Don't F*&^n think so.. (though its prob the best advice they could give someone like you right now)


I honestly believe all men cheat and women and YOU my friend are why women are so cagey when they do actually meet a decent guy who likes them for who they are and would never even contemplate cheating on them.. do you realise what you and your kind do? You make it difficult for GENUINE people to meet the one they want to be with..

Should I tell her about this? YES... show some balls and tell her..

I know she'll forgive me making me resoect her even less.
A. HOW do you know she'll forgive you? have you cheated on her before and she found out? She probably respects herself and would ditch you like chewing gum off her shoe if she's knows whats good for her.
B. Make you respect her less? less? how in the hell can you respect her LESS when you cheated on her? you have no respect AT ALL for her, let alone yourself.

I'm actually a good guy
*speechless* if by good guy you mean a liar, a cheat, disrespectful, dishonest, annoying, hurtful, blasé.. then yes you my friend are good guy.

however in the dictionary 'good' has over 40 connotations as an adjective.. heres the top 25.. please indicate now HOW you think you are a good guy??

1.morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; pious: a good man. 2.satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree: a good teacher; good health. 3.of high quality; excellent.4.right; proper; fit: It is good that you are here. His credentials are good. 5.well-behaved: a good child. 6.kind, beneficent, or friendly: to do a good deed. 7.honorable or worthy; in good standing: a good name. 8.educated and refined: She has a good background. 9.financially sound or safe: His credit is good. 10.genuine; not counterfeit: a good quarter. 11.sound or valid: good judgment; good reasons. 12.reliable; dependable; responsible: good advice. 13.healthful; beneficial: Fresh fruit is good for you. 14.in excellent condition; healthy: good teeth. 15.not spoiled or tainted; edible; palatable: The meat was still good after three months in the freezer. 16.favorable; propitious: good news. 17.cheerful; optimistic; amiable: in good spirits. 18.free of distress or pain; comfortable: to feel good after surgery. 19.agreeable; pleasant: Have a good time. 20.attractive; handsome: She has a good figure. 21.(of the complexion) smooth; free from blemish.22.close or intimate; warm: She's a good friend of mine. 23.sufficient or ample: a good supply. 24.advantageous; satisfactory for the purpose: a good day for fishing. 25.competent or skillful; clever: a good manager; good at arithmetic.

it's easier to stay with her. She's happy with me even if i amn't with her.

If she knew who you REALLY were she wouldn't be happy.

GROW A PAIR AND TELL HER

let her get on with her life and find someone who respects her and will love HER unconditionally.. and I hope to god she has sense not to shed too many tears over you... you are certainly not worth it..

How Soon Is Now

Hallo World wrote: »

Right, I'm a guy.. and heres my 2 cents.. cos I am ABSOLUTELY FUMING reading your post..

I spoke to my friends last night in the pub and they all agree that I should say nothing
if you're friends told you to jump off a cliff? would you? Don't F*&^n think so.. (though its prob the best advice they could give someone like you right now)


I honestly believe all men cheat and women and YOU my friend are why women are so cagey when they do actually meet a decent guy who likes them for who they are and would never even contemplate cheating on them.. do you realise what you and your kind do? You make it difficult for GENUINE people to meet the one they want to be with..

Should I tell her about this? YES... show some balls and tell her..

I know she'll forgive me making me resoect her even less.
A. HOW do you know she'll forgive you? have you cheated on her before and she found out? She probably respects herself and would ditch you like chewing gum off her shoe if she's knows whats good for her.
B. Make you respect her less? less? how in the hell can you respect her LESS when you cheated on her? you have no respect AT ALL for her, let alone yourself.

I'm actually a good guy
*speechless* if by good guy you mean a liar, a cheat, disrespectful, dishonest, annoying, hurtful, blasé.. then yes you my friend are good guy.

however in the dictionary 'good' has over 40 connotations as an adjective.. heres the top 25.. please indicate now HOW you think you are a good guy??

1.morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; pious: a good man. 2.satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree: a good teacher; good health. 3.of high quality; excellent.4.right; proper; fit: It is good that you are here. His credentials are good. 5.well-behaved: a good child. 6.kind, beneficent, or friendly: to do a good deed. 7.honorable or worthy; in good standing: a good name. 8.educated and refined: She has a good background. 9.financially sound or safe: His credit is good. 10.genuine; not counterfeit: a good quarter. 11.sound or valid: good judgment; good reasons. 12.reliable; dependable; responsible: good advice. 13.healthful; beneficial: Fresh fruit is good for you. 14.in excellent condition; healthy: good teeth. 15.not spoiled or tainted; edible; palatable: The meat was still good after three months in the freezer. 16.favorable; propitious: good news. 17.cheerful; optimistic; amiable: in good spirits. 18.free of distress or pain; comfortable: to feel good after surgery. 19.agreeable; pleasant: Have a good time. 20.attractive; handsome: She has a good figure. 21.(of the complexion) smooth; free from blemish.22.close or intimate; warm: She's a good friend of mine. 23.sufficient or ample: a good supply. 24.advantageous; satisfactory for the purpose: a good day for fishing. 25.competent or skillful; clever: a good manager; good at arithmetic.

it's easier to stay with her. She's happy with me even if i amn't with her.

If she knew who you REALLY were she wouldn't be happy.

GROW A PAIR AND TELL HER

let her get on with her life and find someone who respects her and will love HER unconditionally.. and I hope to god she has sense not to shed too many tears over you... you are certainly not worth it..

Ya i fully agree with you pisses me off cause this is why i have so many problems with women cause they have had **** in the past that turns them off everyone.

I really think you should just cop on bit and tell her and stay single like going out with someone dont seem to suit you.

Real Clare Man

My advice....cheat away, just be a bit more discreet and try not to let your friends know if possible...enjoy life and just ignore the do-gooders here...;)

Blackpitts

tell her what you did but especially tell her that you are not happy. So break up with her, change your mobile phone number, your email address and cut your bebo/facebook profiles, so she can't chase you and maybe she won't since you have cheated on her

It's only matter of time and she will be fine again.

Taltos

petethecheat wrote: »

I honestly believe all men cheat and women are naive if they think otherwise. Even the quiet guys are doing it.

Cop on to yourself mate.

Do her a favour and dump her. Hopefully she will meet someone with a bit more of a mature outlook on life and relationships.

I also recommend that you give it a break for a while and do some soul searching. Selfish outlooks like this on life are not a good sign for yourself and your future happiness.

Toots

petethecheat wrote: »

Hi Guys,

As the title says, I cheated on my gf last weekend and have been racked with guilt since. I spoke to my friends last night in the pub and they all agree that I should say nothing although 2 of the girls gave me a bollickin.

My friends have pretty much all cheated on there gfs in the past too so they are hypocrites. The girl I was with was just some random girl in a bar but she was so sexy and I was drunk. That's a tough combination. I honestly believe all men cheat and women are naive if they think otherwise. Even the quiet guys are doing it.

Ok, so you made a mistake and now feel bad about it, that's normal. Do not, however, presume to bring all guys down to your level, because saying that all guys cheat is just not true. Don't bother using that logic to try and feel better about what you did either, because you're only fooling yourself.

Should I tell her about this? She is mad about me and will go nuts at first but I know she'll forgive me making me resoect her even less.

I know I sound cruel but I'm actually a good guy. I don't see the point in sugar coating this.

Fair enough, at least you're honest about it. It doesn't sound to me like you respect her at all TBH.

I knwo you'll say break up with her and believe me I have done in the past but she takes it sooo badly, tears, tantrums, constant phonecalls that it's easier to stay with her. She's happy with me even if i amn't with her. It's less selfish staying with her in a weird way.

Eh, then break up with her FFS. Nothing from your entire post suggests to me that you have even one good reason to stay with her. Breakups are never nice, sometimes they're civil, but a lot of the time they're horrible and messy. This sounds like it will be one of those ones, but you'll be doing the two of you a favour if you end it. You cheated on her, so I think she's entitled to tears and a bit of a tantrum, just suck it up and get it over with. As regards the constant phonecalls, just change your number, or else get a block set up with your operator so that she can't call or text you. I know O2 offer this service so I assume the others do too.

rallye

petethecheat wrote: »

I honestly believe all men cheat and women are naive if they think otherwise. Even the quiet guys are doing it.

What a load of sh*t!!

I have never once cheated in any of my relationships, i dont see the point of being in one if you want to be with other women, if i am dating a girl and i find someone else i like then i will do the decent thing and end the relationship.

Karma, its a bit*h

Emme

petethecheat wrote: »

My friends have pretty much all cheated on there gfs in the past too so they are hypocrites. The girl I was with was just some random girl in a bar but she was so sexy and I was drunk. That's a tough combination. I honestly believe all men cheat and women are naive if they think otherwise. Even the quiet guys are doing it.

Not all guys cheat on their girlfriends, ok some do, but not all. So don't try to justify it to yourself that way.

petethecheat wrote: »

It's less selfish staying with her in a weird way.

No it isn't, it's actually more selfish because she would have the chance to find a decent guy if she was single. Do the decent thing, tell her you cheated and then break it to her gently that you don't want to go out with her any more and she can do better than you.

petethecheat

petethecheat wrote: »

I knwo you'll say break up with her and believe me I have done in the past but she takes it sooo badly, tears, tantrums, constant phonecalls that it's easier to stay with her. She's happy with me even if i amn't with her. It's less selfish staying with her in a weird way

Something tells me she'd find it a lot easier to let go of you this time ... and you know it. You clearly don't care about her, have no respect for her and don't really want to be in this relationship ... so what are you waiting for?

LegacyUser

no matter what you decide to do she is going to find out, you have told several people what you have done, they in turn will tell others and it will get back to her. You can be 100% sure of that.

So you either man up and tell her now and deal with the fallout. Or you wait till she comes home and confronts you.

At least the first option gives her a chance to deal with it without the girl being humilated by sitting in the pub for the next few weeks with everyone looking at her and knowing what you have done. When someone does tell her it will be very hard on her.

Darthhoob

not all men cheat, i KNOW my OH hasn't cheated in the 6 years we've been together and that isn;t me being naive at all...that's me trusting him because he has earned that trust. before i met him i was of the opinion that all men are bastards blah blah blah...in reality i was naive THEN and grown up and moved on since. hopefully you will too oneday...but not whilst you are in this relationship.

best thing to do would be to tell her and let her decide what to do, i doubt she'll forgive you so easily. though if you are not happy with her then why on eart are you with her?? yeah she'll be upset if you dump her but after a while (possibly a few minutes tbh) she'll realise she is better off without you and able to find a real man

Liam Byrne

petethecheat wrote: »

I honestly believe all men cheat and women are naive if they think otherwise.

I was interested in reading and giving advice until I saw the above lie/bull****/cop-out. A cop-out that actually insults me - as a guy - and calls my integrity into question.

Having read the above, you're on your own, at least until you cop on a little and realise that the above is simply NOT TRUE.

Monkey61

Look OP as your post has made blatantly clear - you don't want to be with her and are only staying with her because it is less hassle than breaking up with her.

Break up with her now for God's sake and let both of you find people that you are better suited to.

The most appalling part for me is that you told your friends. I can think of nothing worse than all my boyfriend's mates knowing he cheated and me being oblivious. It's so cruel and humiliating.

fabbydabby

I knwo you'll say break up with her and believe me I have done in the past but she takes it sooo badly, tears, tantrums, constant phonecalls that it's easier to stay with her.

That's a really weird reason to go out with someone, if you don't mind me saying.