Al-Anon

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone on here would be able to give me some information in Al-anon. I have been on the website and looked at that, but I was wondering in general what happens at these meetings?

I am seriously considering going to one of these meetings as I have huge family issues surrounding alcohol and domestic violence. My only problem is that I am rather backward and I was hoping that even on the first meeting that you could kind of take a back seat and absorb things rather than telling my life story straight away.

Any help on this is much appreciated!

cowlove

Hi OP.

Al-anon is a place for people who have been affected by a loved ones drinking to go and share their experiences in a loving and safe environment.
You will not have to share your story at the first meeting, or the second meeting, or the third. You can say as little or as much as you want.
After the meeting there may be somebody you may have identified with during the meeting and you can talk to them on one to one if you want to do so.
I would really encourage you to go! You will be glad you did!
Best of luck!

LegacyUser

Thanks for your reply, it was really helpful! I will be entirely honest, I am quite anxious about going...

Does anyone out there have any experience of it...?

username123

Yeah Ive been a member for years.

On a practical level what happens is a group of people go to a room, there is usually one person 'chairing' the meeting and an opening speaker. You can sit where you like and no one bothers you if youre new except to smile at you or otherwise make a welcoming gesture. The opening speaker talks for a few minutes. Then the person chairing it opens it to the floor. At this point most people squirm and look at the ground and dont want to get picked to speak.

Sometimes at this point the chairperson asks if there are any new members that night, at which point new people put their hands up. Sometimes the chairperson asks their names, sometimes not, either way they are told theyre very welcome. Usually the person chairing it invites people to speak by name or indicates 'person in red jacket'. If you get indicated and you dont want to speak you can just say 'no thanks' and it will pass along to someone else.

Youre not forced to participate at all. You can just sit and listen and say nothing the entire meeting, and then at the end people tend to put chairs back against the walls, some meetings have tea/coffee, people generally mill about chatting to each other etc... You can leg it at this point if you like - I did the first time I went and didnt speak to anyone.

At both beginning and end of meeting there is a short welcome and closing note read out by chairperson. Mostly during the course of the meeting, once it gets going people offer to speak and its not just people getting invited by name or whatever. All the meetings are a bit different but they all follow the above format to some degree.

You can also arrive late and leave early and totally avoid talking or making any kind of eye contact - however, the best way to get support at them is to interact so you wont get as much out of it if you do that.

Hope that helps, and Id definitely advise you to go - the first meeting is the hardest, once youve gone once you see its not a big deal and nothing to be anxious about - plus you are unlikely to be the only new person at any of the bigger meetings. The people are all normal and very nice.

Oh and loads of people dont say a word for weeks, they just come and listen - no one minds.

Theres a nice peaceful feeling in the meetings, I fell asleep a few times cos I got so relaxed - but Id only advise that if youre not a snorer

Seriously - Go, its nice.