Is She Playing Games??

LegacyUser

Hey Guys, Going unreg for this one.. Basically, a female friend of mine from the past who I hadn't seen in years contacted me out of the blue, we got chatting and she suggested we go out for a catch-up. We went out clubbing a week later and she was very touch-feely, anyway nothing happened, we had a good chat but when she got drunk she got a bit weird and started making snide remarks about me "not bothering to contact her" etc. We have been out a few times since and again we were kinda touchy feely but nothing happened. One thing I noticed is that she talks about the ex alot and is defo not over him. At the beginning, I was happy to talk about her ex but now I have feelings for her and it kinda makes me jealous.

Anyway, a few of us when clubbing again last weekend and it got kinda heated, dancing really close etc, we also came very close to kissing, as in our lips almost touched while dancing, she was also kissing my face quite alot.. When we nearly kissed, I resisted the temptation but actually wanted to. I know that probably sounds weird. We were very very drunk and I suppose I was afraid of her rejecting me. The others who were out have said that there was definetly chemistry. That was towards the end of the night and soon afterwards she got very weird and said that she had to go, at that point, we left. I have been chatting to her on MSN a couple of time since but I am actually really confused!

I actually really like her now, the more we meet up, the more I want her. I am just afraid that she just enjoys the attention that I give her rather than actually liking me! I am not very confident and personally I think that I wouldn't be her type.. I know this is probably a silly question but do you think I should pursue this or move onto someone else. I am a bit depressed because I am thinking that if she liked me then she had the perfect opportunity to kiss me but she didn't.

Sorry For Rambling!

So ... she contacted you out of the blue and (effectively) asked you out, when you went out she was very touchy-feely, she slagged you off for not bothering to get in touch with her which meant she had to do the running, you've been out a few times ... still touchy-feely but nothing happened ... last weekend you were dancing really close, she was kissing your face, you came close to kissing her but you resisted temptation even though you wanted to ... and then she got weird and said she had to go.

I try never to give guarantees here but I'd be shocked and stunned if this girl wasn't chasing you and now feels utterly rejected! She's done all this and you're complaining because SHE didn't kiss YOU.

The only possible complication I see here is the ex but frankly it sounds like you're just looking for excuses not to put yourself out on a limb. Which is understandable and I sympathise, but don't be surprised when you leave it too long and she's no longer interested.

Frank_Leach

and the other side to jackie's advice?
well, if something doesn't feel right, it usually isnt.
The problem here is...is it her issues, or yours???

raoulduke1

i fully sympathise man and can completely understand how confusing this situation is.

"she talks about the ex alot and is defo not over him"

have you asked her if she is or not? until you know this then the possibility remains that she could just be looking for a confidence boost after her last relationship ended. so please do not go falling for her too hard - easier said than done i know.

also i would definitely try to clarify the above question sooner rather than later. If things go well, and here's hoping they do, leaving this question unresolved could lead to jealousies and complications further on down the road.

Personally i would ask her out, just yourselves, and if the oppurtunity arises where you can ask in a casual way then do and take it from there.

Priapus

I agree with Jackie. She was chasing you and felt rejected after the kiss never happened. After all she put herself out there and nothing happened. She probably felt embarrassed & rejected. Strong risk she'll lose interest if you don't recripricate the chasing soon!

Be bold!

Nervous Wreck

Deleted User wrote: »

So ... she contacted you out of the blue and (effectively) asked you out, when you went out she was very touchy-feely, she slagged you off for not bothering to get in touch with her which meant she had to do the running, you've been out a few times ... still touchy-feely but nothing happened ... last weekend you were dancing really close, she was kissing your face, you came close to kissing her but you resisted temptation even though you wanted to ... and then she got weird and said she had to go.

I try never to give guarantees here but I'd be shocked and stunned if this girl wasn't chasing you and now feels utterly rejected! She's done all this and you're complaining because SHE didn't kiss YOU.

The only possible complication I see here is the ex but frankly it sounds like you're just looking for excuses not to put yourself out on a limb. Which is understandable and I sympathise, but don't be surprised when you leave it too long and she's no longer interested.

Word. You can't reject someone's advances and then whine that she didn't kiss you.

Frank_Leach

She sounds like she has issues...then again, who doesn't?

One thing, this situation/dynamic between you is unlikely to reverse. So eitherways some clarity, one way or another, should be found soon..

Cause if she is a real life game player, best to deal with this now than later.
If she's crazy for you and wants to give it a shot...then it's happy days! But eitherways, you know whats going on. Now, it's just confusion and stress.

Keep us posted

kjl

I know someone like this, very flirty with me after a break up with bf of long years.

She could be into you, or she might just be using you to replace her bf.

Riverpineapple

If you want make a move but don't keep hanging around.

Always remember this. To many women, life is an endless popularity contest between them and their friends. One way a girl can get ahead in this contest is to have lots of different men (Orbiters) hanging around paying her attention and performing favours for her. Male attention is the currency that fuels female social competition. Don't be a sucker,don't become a pawn in someone else's popularity contest.

Overheal

kjl wrote: »

She could be into you, or she might just be using you to replace her bf.

Something I often describe as Serial Monogamy. Usually because it typically dooms any serious chance for a relationship until you can get yourself over the ex thats causing the problem. A wake of dead relationships follows.

I sympathize with you OP. Id be wary about getting too involved in that situation too. You know yourself best. If you think that down the line you'll only end up alone and confused if/when this girl leaves you because of her ex issues, then you should probably stay well away. Or, if you think you can handle that, go for it and enjoy things while things are good.

Either way, lifes short, and theres no wrong answer.

Wagon

need advice wrote: »

One thing I noticed is that she talks about the ex alot and is defo not over him. At the beginning, I was happy to talk about her ex but now I have feelings for her and it kinda makes me jealous.

I am just afraid that she just enjoys the attention that I give her rather than actually liking me!

Well look at it like this. I can't understand why a girl who was interested in having anything worthwhile with you would talk to you about her ex and complain. I know you said you have low confidence but personally i think you're thinking with your brain on this one and can see something isn't right. If you are getting warning signs already then id leave it and move on.