Please help, i just dont "get" guys...

neversuitedher

Hey Boardsies, I’ve been trying to avoid writing this thread for a while and hoping someone would magically have the same problem as me. And the solution written for me. Ha…Yep, living in dreamland.

Ok so this is kind of a silly school girl topic but its driving me Car-azy! I’m 20 years old and known this guy for about 2-3 years never really talked to him (family friend). Due to family/friends get togethers weekly/every few weeks we would be at the same place. Was slightly forced together with him at the start through my parents asking him to help me do something (which I was pretty p!ssed off about as I’m sort of shy and my parents are constantly trying to get me to “make friends” so I was wary of this person only doing me this favour because he was asked to.)

The first night I got talking to him he asked me back to a party, I declined as I thought it was my parents trying to make friends for me, he got my number and tried to encourage me to go, there was a bit of flirting, slagging and messing going on. So that night he text me saying “I was missing out, should have gone” ect. since then he’s text me every Saturday (the night we all meet up) asking if I want to go out after to a club or what ever… (I work weekends and cant so I declined) he would sometimes text me then at 2/3 that night asking if I was still out, ect. I'm useless at reading guys! I’m not really sure if he’s into me/ looking for a friend/ or maybe a FB.

At first I wasn’t interested because I thought it was a bit of a “set up” by the parents, and I only ever spoke to him on one other occasion where he talked about a lot of girls he’s slept with to a friend of mine. I got the impression that he was a bit of a player and a tad childish for discussing it with people he hardly knew. But when I’m chatting to him at weekends he makes it his business to talk to me, we flirt a bit, he texts me when we are in the same room and tries to get me to go the pub/club after.

I was a bit cold at first as I wasn’t sure I was that into this guy from my first impression of the way he spoke about the girls he was with. He text me 2 weeks ago and asked if I was going out that night, I said I was, but he didn’t show up, which is unusual. A friend of mine had said he might have been meeting up with another girl. But now I cant get him out of my mind… guess that’s the thing that’s bothering me so much, if I had of felt like this 4/5 weeks ago I’m sure I would have been in with a chance.

Is there anyway of dropping subtle hints that I’m interested, I don’t want to ask him out as he may now be seeing someone/ may not be interested in a relationship at all and just being friendly/ and because I will have to see him weekly. Any opinions? I’m such a girl… always want what ya can have. And of course not being interested when I had the chance. *Sigh*

*Oh a even more school girl-type question “xxx‘s” on the end of text messages, do guys really send them? And a bit off topic but WHY? (just to confuse us girls I think!)

Oh I feel like I’m 14 again…

Fiend-Foe

I wouldn't read too much into xxx's at the end of messages, people throw them around all over the place nowadays. I hate that.

But this guy is/was really into you. There's only one way to find out if you still have a chance and that is to make a move yourself, cos It sounds like he's made a few on you and has probably given up. He's probably still into you, just given up chasing.

Hope you get what you want xxx :P

CDfm

OP have you considered that he got the same thing from his folks. Parents do lots of cringeworthy stuff. I am a master of it but I have never done that.

So you are friends - why not look at it like that and find out if he is going to the next get together.

Its no use speculating about whether or not he has met someone but deal with the situation at the get together. If it was meant to be you will find it all out there.

Terodil

After he's chased you for weeks to no avail, I think that the ball is in your court. Do the same he did: Ask him if he wants to join you on a night out or meet up for lunch some time.

Don't worry about subtle any more. You have been more than 'subtle' enough for weeks.

Nervous Wreck

Terodil wrote: »

After he's chased you for weeks to no avail, I think that the ball is in your court. Do the same he did: Ask him if he wants to join you on a night out or meet up for lunch some time.

Don't worry about subtle any more. You have been more than 'subtle' enough for weeks.

Agreed. I think the best way to do this is to role-reverse. He usually texts you when you're in the same room on a Saturday and asks you to a pub/club? Get there first. Text him first and ask him if he wants to have a drink after. He'll most likely say yes, even though he's prob a bit down on himself about the whole situation now. You suggest the bar; make it somewhere close to where ever your family gathering is and then just go from there. But you defo need to take the reins on this or it ain't gonna happen. Good luck and have fun.

neversuitedher

CDfm wrote: »

OP have you considered that he got the same thing from his folks. Parents do lots of cringeworthy stuff. I am a master of it but I have never done that.

Yeah your right I have spoken to his parents over the last few weeks and they would say stuff like “oh you should ask such and such to help you out again” so I’m sure his parents are trying to set us up as well, parents are so embarrassing at times! (even if i now secretly want to thank them...)

I definitely resented the fact that they were all sticking their noses in, and let it could my judgment and not really give the guy a chance, hope I haven’t totally messed it up as he is actually quite sweet!

Found out he’s going out this Saturday so I guess its time to throw subtle out the window and just go for it! Thanks for the replies guys, gave me the kick I needed! Ill fill you in on all the details… :P