My friend is cheating on his girlfriend and I know it

little angel

My friend is cheating on his girlfriend and I have to talk to his girlfriend everyday who is really nice-she way more nicer than the girl he goes and secretly meets and txts you could say everyday...Would love to tell his girlfriend but just cudn't..I confronted him about it a few days ago and I just cant understand how this other girl could even kiss let alone have sex with him when he has a girlfriend??
Since confronting him he has stayed every night with with her...the reason I know this is because I live beside his "other"bitch..He said sure everybody cheats..and it was the "bitch" was doing all the running to him..He did already did cheat before on his girlfriend with the same girl for a good few months nearly a year to be precise..He did tell his girlfriend he slept with her once or twice not probaly the 100 times he actually did..I dont no what to do cause I am good friends with his girlfriend and I suppose friend to with the"bitch" cause she is my neighbour. i told him to he may sort out his live better and this "other" girl will do all the running until he goes out with her...What should I do??

LegacyUser

Do nothing.

You are too close to this. Faltmates? Friends? Yeah, not your business... maybe if the girls come to you first.... but even then.... thats their life, not yours...

Monkey here or see no evil unless monkey is so close monkey has to sniff it and even then wise monkey says nothing....

Unless you have a best friend in the situation, which will only become obvious over time...

Why don't you focus on your life instead?

extrinzic

This is tricky. On the one hand, if you are friends with this girl, you should tell her.
On the other, getting involved in this situation could backfire.
Unfortunately, she is already aware of some of his behaviour, and has accepted it thus far. I would leave it. It’s down to her in the end.

little angel

i would reckon i would be best friends with the guy followed by the girlfriend followed by his other lover..
I no its none of my business buy i feel guilt on me and actually hate saying things to him cause I think it may be affecting our friendship..we were suppose to meet up last night for a run but he made an excuse he was going to meet the lads but instead went to see her...so he is telling lies to me now...a guy who always told me everything..but I just hate lies and cheating..cant understand how he and his lover have not guilt on their conscience surely i will all back fire??

extrinzic

You have to ask yourself, do you like him? Do you respect him? Does he respect you? Does he respect other people? If you find yourself re-evaluating the value of your friendship for the worst, perhaps you should stop considering him a good friend. I have done this, I wager we all have, or will, do this. That's life. As for his girlfriend, what can you do? If you tell her, she may just keep going out with him regardless. She has made excuses for him in the past, has she not? You will possibly gain a reputation for meddling in other peoples affairs (forgive the pun). People can't always be strong, friends can't always be admirable, but decent people try.

Wagon

extrinzic wrote: »

As for his girlfriend, what can you do? If you tell her, she may just keep going out with him regardless. She has made excuses for him in the past, has she not?

She hasn't and this is the worst thing. This fella told her he slept with this other girl only once, but like the OP said he didnt' tell her about the 100 other times. Had she known that then she probably would have gotten rid of him. I'm willing to bet he said it was just a drunken mistake and he feels awful etc... and his girlfriend forgave him for it.

OP im going to be completely honest about this. Your friend is a right bollocks. I think anyone who comes out with the line "sure everybody cheats" is a spanner. He obviously doesn't give a damn about his girlfriend. I'm going to go against the grain comletely here and say tell his girlfriend. And it's not meddelling either, you're looking out for her and could be doing her a great favour in telling her about this so maybe then she'll dump him and find someone out there who'll treat her with respect. If someone told me that a girlfriend was cheating id be getting rid of her and be thanking them.

If he accuses you of being the cause of his relationship ending, he's talking out his arse (again, being honest ) It's his own fault along with this other girl. he is doing the cheating and she doesn't care. You are looking out for someone nice.

CDfm

Its crap to be stuck in the middle if you are friends with both.

It seems that you have feelings for this girl.

IMHO - you shouldn't get involved but adopt a don't condemn a don't condone attitude.

Me - and I have friendships with men and women - if I was asked a straight question I would give a straight answer but in a nice way. People rarely like the bearers of bad news. A friend of mine was in the situation recently and told a guy what she knew and was the worst in the world.

Bottle_of_Smoke

To look at it logically, you're going to lose one of them as a friend.

The girlfriend's going to find out eventually. She will suspect you knew and no longer trust you. If you do tell her he won't forgive you.

No one here can tell you which friend to choose. You'll have to decide that for yourself.

kjl

anonymous email.

Let the rest work itself out, if its been going on for this long, then his gf would already be suspicious.

little angel

The amazing thing about him to is if anyone else comes onto him on a night out he goes sorry I got a girlfriend but still runs back to the other bitchs house...The other day when i confronted him about it he figured out to that I didn't like the other girl at all...
Sometimes he uses me all right and has changed since he started cheatng again and I dont see him that much at all before we use to get on like a house on fire..
But can I ask a questions do the majority of girls still try to persue guys even though they know they have girlfriends? Cause none of my friends would do it and he said loads of girls do it..

missmatty

little angel wrote: »

But can I ask a questions do the majority of girls still try to persue guys even though they know they have girlfriends? Cause none of my friends would do it and he said loads of girls do it..

That's crap. Me and most every girl I know would not actively pursue someone who was taken, but there's always the odd girl who gets a kick out of it. In saying that, if he's the one with the girlfriend(s) it sounds like he just can't resist women :rolleyes:

extrinzic

Wagon wrote: »

She hasn't and this is the worst thing. This fella told her he slept with this other girl only once, but like the OP said he didnt' tell her about the 100 other times. Had she known that then she probably would have gotten rid of him.

Thing is, it sounds like she knows about more than once.

little angel wrote: »

He did tell his girlfriend he slept with her once or twice not probaly the 100 times he actually did

seahorse

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

To look at it logically, you're going to lose one of them as a friend.

The girlfriend's going to find out eventually. She will suspect you knew and no longer trust you. If you do tell her he won't forgive you.

No one here can tell you which friend to choose. You'll have to decide that for yourself.

I agree with this. It's decision time I think regarding which of these two people's friendship you value most, because the truth will out and when it does you will be left with either one persons friendship or the others. What you need to figure out here is whose you want it to be.

extrinzic

I don't think choosing one or the other is necessarily the case. Things don't always work out as planed. For example, if she tells her friend, her friend may react badly to this news. It may solidify the relationship between the boy friend and girl friend, and alienate the messenger. In time, the girlfriend may come to realise the fool she has been, but any confrontation between Little angel and her friends may leave lasting effects that nobody can ignore.

Wagon

little angel wrote: »

But can I ask a questions do the majority of girls still try to persue guys even though they know they have girlfriends? Cause none of my friends would do it and he said loads of girls do it..

I don't think the majority do, but there seems to be a lot out there who go for it.

sam34

you seem to be reserving your anger for teh other woman - am not saying she doesnt deserve it, but you should not be solely angry with her, your friend is responsible for his own actions

little angel

sam34 wrote: »

you seem to be reserving your anger for teh other woman - am not saying she doesnt deserve it, but you should not be solely angry with her, your friend is responsible for his own actions

Yes that is the truth too absolutelty hate this other girl she is a stunner according to my male friends dont see whats so fantastic about her...she has a real good figure but her head/face aint pretty..Anyway hate her cause i think she is so mean and obessesive over him ..But i get he is a womaniser and wants to impress the lads that he has two women going!They are actually problly made for each other when you think of it!

LegacyUser

just throwing this out there....

have you got feelings for this guy?

just the way you talk about him telling you everything and the way you are hating this girl but dont really have a lot of bad to say about him until it was put to you. The only bad thing you really had to say about him was when he started lying to you...

so is there a bit of jealousy going on here dya think? maybe you have feelings but being a good person never acted on them because of his girlf, but now you see shes obviously not worth a whole lot to him, so you think if he should be wanting anyone else it should be you??

If not, well then I have to say, this is really none of your business, which is a good thing for you. You arent his girlf, you are his friend, and like you said not as close to his girlf as you are to him. Its his life and his decisions, hes a big boy and can make his own mistakes and screw it all up on his own. Maybe you should just tell him that you dont want to know anymore about it and not to talk to you about it coz you dont agree with it. And then that should really be that for you right? Youre problem is solved near as I can see.

little angel

Have asbsolutely no feelings towards him other than he is my friend and he is not my closet male friends either...If he was free and I was free and we were out and I didn't no him I would not be running towards him he's not my taste at all...And if I know that he cheats defo would not be goin near him..No I get on really well with his girlfriend and they are so happy when there together-am happy for them you could say...I guess I couldn't care less if he was goin out with any girl in the world but i just particulary hate this other "bitch"...
Yeah after I confronted him I said to myself thats it I gave my spile not going to say anymore..Its just his girlfriend I feel bad for..He knows I hate the other girl and probaly afraid of me even if he says he is just saying going to the cinema to be friendly..

Kirnsy

little angel wrote: »

Have asbsolutely no feelings towards him other than he is my friend and he is not my closet male friends either...If he was free and I was free and we were out and I didn't no him I would not be running towards him he's not my taste at all...And if I know that he cheats defo would not be goin near him..No I get on really well with his girlfriend and they are so happy when there together-am happy for them you could say...I guess I couldn't care less if he was goin out with any girl in the world but i just particulary hate this other "bitch"...
Yeah after I confronted him I said to myself thats it I gave my spile not going to say anymore..Its just his girlfriend I feel bad for..He knows I hate the other girl and probaly afraid of me even if he says he is just saying going to the cinema to be friendly..

why do you keep referring to the other woman as bitch???

and in all honesty....are you going to tell the girlfriend about the other girl because you hate the other girl or because you care about the girlfriend and her feelings.
seems to me you have issues with the 'bitch' as you refer to her as, more than anyone else in this conundrum.

LegacyUser

ah right ok fair enough

Why do you hate this girl? Did you hate her before he started cheating with him or after?

Do you think you would be this concerned if it was a different girl, one you liked or didnt know?

Honestly in my opinion, shes doing nothing wrong really, except being incredibly stupid. Shes single and free, hes not. When im out with my boyf and girls throw themselves all over him, it doesnt bother me, coz I know he wouldnt do anything. You cant blame a slapper for being a slapper if shes single, she has no commitment to his girlfriend, and she can only do what he will let her.

I understand you feel sorry for his girlfriend, if you feel that strongly, tell him to stop seeing this girl (or tell his girlf) or else you will tell the girlf. You might lose him as a friend over it but I dont see any other option and personally, not somethin i would ever do, unless the girlf was really close to me.

You either ignore it and say its his life, or you make him stop. Youve already told him you dont want to know, but you still seem to be struggling with it so they really are your only options.

Sucks I know.

little angel

I never had a problem with her til she started cheating with him...dont really like her personality either she blows hot and cold with...Not even liking my friend at the minute either the ways he's cheating too and if it were a different girl I would be the same and tell him to cope on...its his girlfriend who i feel sorry for..

little angel

The plot is after thickening in my story...just came back from 2 weeks away with a gang of us including my friend and his girlfriend..ah we had a ball and my friend and his girlfriend we getting on like a house on fire it made me realise how such a good couple they are..
When waiting in the airport my friend got a tx from his other women saying i really need to see you.. and he said no I cant see u anymore ...then she comes out im pregnant!!!2 months gone!!!he confideded in me i didnt no what to say to him..so met the other women and told the girlfriend let just say she was less than impressed and they didn't break up but its on the rocks..
His life is a mess now you could say he got caught out badly..but now he is spending time with the other women still...presume she is going to keep the baby though termination may be possible..id say though its all she ever wanted a baby by him since she is so obsessed with him..nxt thing she may want is the ring on the finger..
Poor girlfriend dont no what to say to her -surely she has seen through him??
Beware of womanisers of men and obessive women be careful who you pick to sleep with!!

magneticimpulse

well the girlfriend is really stupid now if she stays with the guy after this story!!! i mean come on!! does she have a brain or any respect for herself? bloke should just have a relationship with this pregnant girl. im sorry but your friend doesnt love his girlfriend AT ALL. if he loved her he would never have cheated on her. he lies and he lies to you. who wants a unreliable friend like that?? this guy will never change. if he gets away with things like this he will always cheat. i met a guy and found out he had a girlfriend...he never told me for about 8 months. anyway i told the girlfriend and of course she was upset but happy that she found out who she was really dating. who wants to spend the rest of their life with a man who cheats? not to mention the risks of STDs!! and of course as you pointed out pregnant.

do the girlfriend a favour and explain to her that he was seeing this girl lots of times and it wasnt a drunken one night stand. now his story is out, she will believe you. dont bother confronting the friend. get yourself some respect and drop this looser friend...you deserve better.

Wagon

magneticimpulse wrote: »

well the girlfriend is really stupid now if she stays with the guy after this story!!!

It depends on what version of the story he gives her. He might lie and say "it was only a one night thing." Seems like that kind of muppet. And while i half agree with magneticimpulse in saying she's pretty stupid if she stays with him, some people can be very manipulative so see what he told her. you might need to just give her the courage to dump him.

do the girlfriend a favour and explain to her that he was seeing this girl lots of times and it wasnt a drunken one night stand. now his story is out, she will believe you. dont bother confronting the friend. get yourself some respect and drop this looser friend...you deserve better.

Agree with this completely. He knows you're good mates with her so he shouldn't be dragging you into his problems like this the fúckin eejit. And neither should his actual girlfriend have to waste her time looking to forgive him (like i said, check with her what version of events he told her because im willing to bet that it was only half the story) She deserves better as well.

little angel

yeah think i'm goin to talk to the girlfriend tonight and hear what he told her and for once and for all i will spill all to her...its goin to be tough but think its about time she needs to know..
As for the other girl that now has a baby in her...id say she will laughing all the way to the hospital she now has got the man she always wanted all to herself.. cause more than likely the girlfriend will break up with my friend and he is going to be a free agent..
but more than likely he will start messing with other girls and it wont all end in a fairy tale ending!

That_Guy

OP I'm in the same situation as you.
The only difference is that I'm not friends with my mates gf.

My mate has been going out with his girlfriend for about two years now and when they first started going out we didn't really see much of my mate. It bothered a few of my mates but not me.

Then our mate began hanging out with us a lot more. The reason... he cheated. It's a disgusting and backstabbing and if you do it you deserve to be single for eternity.

It's ridiculous that a lot of people find this acceptable.

And then my mate has the cheek to say that he'll end it with her if he finds out he's cheating on her.

Shocking.

/rant

magneticimpulse

yeah im in the same position. i had a conversation about guys to my brother. he told me his best friend is cheating on his gf. all the friends have confronted him and told him to stop. the gf or her friends dont know. some days i feel tempted to email her on facebook and tell her the story which my bro told me. but i dont do it, as they are not my friends. anyway i just said to my brother i was dissappointed he could have a friend who treats people that badly. last i heard he has not really been hanging out with his mate. thats good enough for me. i hope someone does pluck up the courage to tell his gf. she is really sweet and doesnt deserve that treatment at all

babyinacorner90

A few months ago, my bestfriend (A),cheated with my other bestfriend(B)'s boyfriend...
Imagine THAT elephant in the room, considering both girls were my best friends, but I barely knew the guy...
I didnt tell my bestfriend(b) her boyf cheated with my bestfriend (A)

BF (b) rang my house phone 3days after it happened, and when I answered ,all I heard was "Did you know?"
I swallowed, and said "Yes" and before I explained ,she hung up and now, 1 year later, doesnt talk to me anymore, only waves.

So, I lost my bestfriend while turning a blind eye for the cheaters.
Honestly, i didnt want to get involved because I walked upon this liasion..so...*awkward*....
I wanted my other bestfriend to tell her...
and somehow, I was the bad guy..


So my answer is : Tell his girlfriend, after you read this. Cause, longer you leave it, your the bad guy.

And if you keep the secret for the guy, how many more cheating secrets will he burden you with ?

Good luck