Are a couple misaligned teeth a big turn off?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am very self conscious about my teeth/smile and worry it's reducing my chances with the opposite sex (women). I should have gotten braces when younger (20 now). I have no experience with relationships and never kissed anyone before so I also worry about teeth (just one in particular) getting in the way when it comes to that as well.

Now it's not that I have bad teeth. It's quite the opposite according to the dentists I have visited, who have all told me that I have naturally very good teeth and they are basically perfect except for just two misaligned teeth (which are just to the right of my top front teeth). Thing is the canine is not just slightly misaligned, it is positioned upwards in my gum sitting above the other teeth and just looks terrible when I give a big smile (not visable otherwise). As a result of the movement of the canine, another tooth to the side of it has been pushed slightly out of position as well but it's nowhere near as noticeable.

Now as I said apart from those two misaligned teeth, the rest of my mouth is perfect. I have always kept my teeth clean and white and but it depresses me greatly that they are so close to being naturally perfect yet one tooth had to ruin it. If I smile and cover the top right side of my mouth and look in the mirror, my smile appears perfect..

Now I have had a consultation at a new dentistry that claim to do 6 month braces and fortunately I am a suitable candidate for it and if I were to get the braces apparently my smile would be perfect within 6 months time.

Okay that's good news I guess... BUT the problem is that at the moment I am really interested in this girl who I plan to ask out. I don't know her too well right now and there is time to get to know her better, however I only see her at a certain location once a week and after a couple of months time I won't be going there any more.

So far whenever I have talked to her I have had to hide my misaligned teeth (by only smiling a little bit or with a closed mouth). I'm worried that if she were to notice she would definately decline a date with me... Although I suppose even if I did manage to keep it hidden and she went out with me it's inevitable that she would become aware of it at some point early on...

Of course I would probably then assure her that I was going to be getting braces to sort them out but I assume it would probably just be too much of a turn off and she'd lose interest in me altogether..

Part of me hopes for her to reject me upon asking her out so I could feel some sense of relief and get on with the braces.. but I really have a big crush on her and I want her to like me..

I just don't know what to do here... My head is spinning and I wish I didn't have to deal with this...

Taking into account that my teeth are otherwise perfect would that one severly misaligned tooth be a big turn off for most women do you think? Would it end the possiblity of a relationship for you regardless of wether of not it'll be fixed at some point?

shellyboo

It would only be a turn off for the very shallowest of shallow women, to be honest. As long as it's a healthy tooth and your teeth are clean, one quirky one isn't going to make ANY difference.

In fact, that's the kind of imperfection a girl could fall in love with. It's these little things which make us different and interesting and unique.

Liam Byrne

I broke my jaw playing soccer and my teeth don't meet 100%, and I also had to have antibiotics as a child which made my teeth slightly grey......both bug me, but no-one else seems to notice them.

If you're aware / conscious of something, you tend to exaggerate it to yourself.

A disabled niece of mine had the strangest formation of teeth, but I've yet to meet anyone who had a smile anywhere like her's - she used to light up the room with it!

Eve_Dublin

shellyboo wrote: »

It would only be a turn off for the very shallowest of shallow women, to be honest. As long as it's a healthy tooth and your teeth are clean, one quirky one isn't going to make ANY difference.

In fact, that's the kind of imperfection a girl could fall in love with. It's these little things which make us different and interesting and unique.

I´ve got a massive thing for guys with less-than-perfect teeth as long as they´re clean. I went out with a guy when I was your age OP who had a chipped front tooth and it made me weak at the knees. I can´t explain but those little imperfections drive some ladies nutty.

Overheal

Growing up I have seen one snaggletooth after another attract both gorgeous and intelligent women (often both: the lucky bastards). Honestly, I dont think a misaligned tooth is going to be a dealbreaker for anyonew worth the trouble.

Skyuser

Invisalign

Lollipops23

I have very crooked teeth (only my top front 4).

Braces were horrendously expensive so were never an option. I also had antibiotics as a chile which left spotty marks on my front teeth.

However, my bf is always telling me what a cute smile I have,as have exs. I look after my teeth, brushing very thoroughly and flossing etc.

As long as you smile like you don't have a care in the world, you'll have the most dazzling smile ever!

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks for the replies.

I dunno I just can't stop feeling so depressed and frustrated over this. I wouldn't blame the girl for not finding me attractive due to my teeth, but I'm trying to keep them out of the equation right now by making sure she doesn't see the problem area. Then maybe when she does eventually notice (provided she agrees to go on a date) I'm hoping she'll see past it.

Right now though I'd assume that at this stage physical attraction is what matters so I need to do my best to appear as best as possible. If I could go on a date with her and we get to know each other better then I suppose there'd be less at risk so to speak and perhaps I would feel comfortable enough to stop hiding it.

I don't know why I'm thinking so far ahead here, as I don't even know if she's interested in me yet! She may even be taken god forbid!

By the way, how soon after meeting a woman is it generally safe to ask her out? We haven't had the opportunity to talk much at all and I don't see her more than once a week. Thanks.

Nervous Wreck

My ex used to always give out to me for not smiling in photos. I never smiled in photos cos I was self-conscious about my misaligned teeth. These days, I'm recognisable in photos by my big toothy grin. My teeth never changed but my attitude did. Teeth are but one part of a smile but misaligned teeth or perfect teeth, a smile is always attractive.

Liam Byrne

90% of a smile is in your eyes.

LegacyUser

No biggie OP.

I'm myself am blessed with prominent canines and very big front teeth and to 'cap' it all I went a broke a front tooth when I was 22... before I got it fixed people commented about how sexy it was (yet it looked horrific).

My sister had those canines that grow straight out of the high gum too, never stopped her.

TBH this girl will either like the whole package or she won't. If she doesn't, someone else will. No harm in getting the grill fixed, but remember its not the whole package. This is not about your teeth! (probably!). When I lived in London, I know a dwarf that scored a really hot chick for a long term relationship, but I know guys who ARE models who can't get it together. Its all about charisma baby!

MissMotivated

shellyboo wrote: »

It would only be a turn off for the very shallowest of shallow women, to be honest. As long as it's a healthy tooth and your teeth are clean, one quirky one isn't going to make ANY difference.

In fact, that's the kind of imperfection a girl could fall in love with. It's these little things which make us different and interesting and unique.

Hi Op
I have a couple of sticky out teeth on the right side of my mouth which I am very self conscious about, I really hate them. I rarely smile with my mouth open in photos, my parents were never told I needed barces as a child and they didn't think of them and I'm definitely not getting them now!
I was thinking about getting veneers done and my boyfriend said if thats what I want to do then go ahead but like shellyboo said, he also said it's one of the things he loves about me, my crooked smile! He says it's one of my imperfections that he loves. I was recently at a wedding and I saw pics after that I didn't know had been taken where I was smiling and my teeth were far from perfect but I didn't look like a monster! I think I have built them up to be worse than they actually are!
Everyone has imperfections OP, you'll meet someone who will love you for you and your teeth!!keep smiling!

shellyboo

Feelingdown wrote: »

I dunno I just can't stop feeling so depressed and frustrated over this. I wouldn't blame the girl for not finding me attractive due to my teeth, but I'm trying to keep them out of the equation right now by making sure she doesn't see the problem area. Then maybe when she does eventually notice (provided she agrees to go on a date) I'm hoping she'll see past it.

Let me tell you something, OP - an uncomfortable, unnnatural smile is much more of a turn-off than one crooked tooth. She's going to pick up on your discomfort, you won't be giving her any natural smiles and that's sheer body language that she'll interpret as you being uncomfortable.

That's far, far more dangerous than her seeing your crooked tooth. Try not to cover it up, I swear to you she won't care. She will care if she thinks you're uncomfortable because she'll assume it's something to do with her.

Not only will she see past it, she won't even notice it.

Feelingdown wrote: »

Right now though I'd assume that at this stage physical attraction is what matters so I need to do my best to appear as best as possible. If I could go on a date with her and we get to know each other better then I suppose there'd be less at risk so to speak and perhaps I would feel comfortable enough to stop hiding it.

That's not really true, it's about personality as well. And appearing at your best doesn't mean not showing her your little imperfections - your best should be yourself, confident and happy.

By all means, if the tooth bothers you so much, get the braces - but I'd be willing to bet that the only person it bothers is you.

LegacyUser

Hey,

I wouldn't be put off by a couple of misaligned teeth. It would be more off putting if someone didn't care for their teeth, i.e brush them, go to the dentist and they looked like they were rotten. Or bad breath, but a couple of misaligned teeth isn't a big deal, not to me anyways.

nesbitt

shellyboo wrote: »

By all means, if the tooth bothers you so much, get the braces - but I'd be willing to bet that the only person it bothers is you.

+100%

We all have something that bothers us about ourselves, and those quirks can as others have said seem cute and attractive to others.

Heres to quirks!

LegacyUser

nesbitt wrote: »

+100%

We all have something that bothers us about ourselves, and those quirks can as others have said seem cute and attractive to others.

Heres to quirks!

I know but this tooth is quite extremely misaligned and I highly doubt many would find it attractive and I'd think that the chances this girl would are slim. She seems to take very good care of herself/appearence.

I'm sorry but guys please understand, this is something that I have been ashamed and highly self conscious about for the past 5/6 years of my life and I can't just forget about it just like that. If this girl noticed it and I knew she saw it, I most likely would not bother asking her out as I'd feel 'that's the end of that'.. I'd see it as a guaranteed rejection.

nesbitt

Feelingdown wrote: »

I know but this tooth is quite extremely misaligned and I highly doubt many would find it attractive and I'd think that the chances this girl would are slim. She seems to take very good care of herself/appearence.

I'm sorry but guys please understand, this is something that I have been ashamed and highly self conscious about for the past 5/6 years of my life and I can't just forget about it just like that. If this girl noticed it and I knew she saw it, I most likely would not bother asking her out as I'd feel 'that's the end of that'.. I'd see it as a guaranteed rejection.

Okay OP, it seems that it is really knocking your self confidence and self esteem. This then has a knock on effect on you and your life. If it is one tooth would it be possible to have it removed and then work on having the gap closed. Might I respectfully suggest that you ask on the Dentistry board if they could give you any suggestions and maybe get a few quotes and opinions from say at least two dentists. Hope this helps OP.

StormWarrior

I've got a couple of gaps where my braces never pulled my teeth together properly. It's never put anyone off me. If your tooth is really that bad and it's bothering you, can't you just get it pulled out and get a fake one put in?

shellyboo

I'm not saying you should forget about it, OP, I'm just trying to give you some perspective. Nobody in the world is so shallow as to be turned off someone because of one misaligned tooth, seriously. By making such a big deal of it in your head, you're creating a self-fulfilling prophecy - you think the tooth will put people off, you try to hide it, give off uncomfortable vibes and awkward, unnatural body language, people pick up on that, and they get put off. It's not the tooth, it's how the tooth affects your self-confidence.

If you can manage to project confidence, people will pick up on it and react better. The less it bothers you, the less others will notice.

smiles

Wow, it's been a long time since I posted.... but here goes.

My username (smiles) was picked for the irony of it, I was not a smiley person, I have a very gummy smile, my canines are a little bit prominent, my teeth are very small (compared to everyone!) and my teeth aren't gloriously white, they are, in fact, kinda yellow (like most peoples). Now this was an issue for me! I wished I had braces as a kid, I wished I could get that operation where they sew your lip to your gums to stop showing so much gum (thank you "The Swan" for giving me that idea!).... and now that I'm in my 20s.... well my smile is the thing people tell me that they love about me.

Big thing is -- she's probably ALREADY seen your teeth, drinking, smiling 'off guard', etc... so stop worrying about it.

I'm happy being the one with the natural smile (I live in the US now), where everyone has 'perfect' teeth, and I get to be the one that they remember

Good luck!

liah

I love guys with quirky smiles, and so do a lot of girls. I think you'll be just fine, OP. It's what makes you you, and if you're confident about it it becomes something extremely irresistible.