Not Confident

LegacyUser

Hello everyone,

Hoping for some advice here. If anyone wants any more details please ask. On the face of things I have a good life. I’ve never wanted for anything, I’m at the beginning of a good professional career having graduated from college with top marks in the top 10% of my class, I compete at a very high sporting level and am generally well liked by everyone and held in great esteem by the senior management team at my employer (I've been told this last bit by a few different people).

My problem is I’m still not happy. I’ve always had self image problems, never been too confident in my own skin, and always been afraid of not being liked. I’ve big hang ups on my physical appearance, even tho I was told over the weekend that I was “absolutely gorgeous” by a girl who tried to kiss me. Nothing happened because I didn’t feel right about it, and would rather have just gone to have some fun with the lads (no, I’m not gay before anyone says it). I’m still not over an ex-girlfriend who broke up with me 9 months ago too.

I feel like I’ve quite a limited social circle, and while I would be very close to a few people in different groups, I don’t really feel like I have a group of friends of my own.

Generally I do a good job at keeping busy, but my life still doesn’t feel right if that makes sense? I’m very ambitious, and want to be famously successful and am confident that I will be. It’s almost like I’ve created this beautiful image of what my life is going to be like… beautiful family, wealthy, big home etc but right now, it feels like I’m at the bottom of a pit where even tho it looks like I have it all, I feel like I have nothing.

I’m ashamed that I’m showing so much self-pity when there’s people in much worse situations that myself. Any advice on what to do would be really really appreciated.

nesbitt

It seems you are a successful person with a whole lot of good things going on. You could be a little bit down and therefore being unnecessarily hard on yourself. Everyone from time to times evaluates where there at and what is going on for them, so you will be no different to anyone in that regard. A lot of us have feelings of not being comfortable in our skin, I guess on any given day we can feel like this. Do you exercise & eat well?

JuliusCaesar

I used to think all my friends should like each other......but it took time for me to realise that they often don't won't or start getting competitive with each other. So I kept my friends apart then for a long time, and saw them all in different places. I realised that I had different interests in common with each of them and that was fine. They got on ok at parties (eg my birthday parties) and would hear about each other through me, and that was enough. Eventually I got a group of people through each friend....and bingo! I had several groups of friends. (Can't say that I'm best friends with all of them - but hey that's a group)

Didn't answer your question - nobody unless they are very arrogant, is always self-confident! Doubt keeps us on our toes. Do you want to be arrogant?