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Knowing if your gay

  • 08-11-2009 11:20pm
    #1
    Robert j
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭


    Hello, my name is robert,
    for a number of months now ive been fantacising about having intercourse with women though i am seeing a guy...im 27 years old and was adament that i was a homosexual for at least 13. Recenctly however i find that im looking at women in a whole new way...im more curious in a way. i don't want to upset the guy im with as we have been seeing each other for 7 years and are very close, though i feel my urges towards women becomeing increasingly strong and feelings for men weaker. i cannot fully describe it but i need help...i never heard of anyone else still being confused into their late twenties.....please help me.


Comments

  • #2
    Dwn Wth Vwls
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 401 ✭✭Dwn Wth Vwls


    There are people confused all their lives, I wouldn't worry about that part of it. Sexuality is often considered to be fluid, it can change. If you were so adamant before, you could have easily ignored any hidden feelings.

    Do you have a bit of the seven year itch going on? You say that you're close to him, but you don't mention being in love with him or whether you still have strong feelings of attraction. Your attraction may well be your bisexual side showing up, but I guess it could also be an avenue of escape.

    If you're not happy in your relationship but are afraid of hurting this guy, you might be refusing to let yourself be attracted to another guy because that would feel like a betrayal. You were never expecting to be attracted to women though, and so perhaps that's where your mind is wandering?

    If you are happy in the relationship, then you probably need to talk to him about it. The secrecy and forbidden aspect of it all is going to interfere with your feelings and amplify them.


  • #3
    MicraBoy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 916 ✭✭✭MicraBoy


    Robert, what's your own opinion on bisexuality?


  • #4
    BlueLepreachaun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭BlueLepreachaun


    People are always obsessed with lableling themselves and too many gay people construct an entire lifestyle around their sexuality and it consumes their entire identity.
    Don't let that happen to you, and don't equate looking at women as well with being "confused", its not a zero sum game.

    Sexuality is not a ridgid three category system as most would have you beleive, google the Kinsey reports to see what I mean, it's far more fluid than that.
    I'd say avoid obsessing over lables and just do what you feel like doing, your in a relationship so don't be flippant about it, but if you want to try something out with women that bady go for it, just explain to the bf what's going on, he wont understand and will probably be really pissed off, but theres no avoiding that.


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