Interfaith Weddings

Superchick

We have recently got engaged and we are just starting to make plans for our wedding. I am Catholic and my H2B is Church of England. The plan is to get married in my home town in Ireland (we live overseas) but I have no idea if the Catholic Church allows interfaith marriages. Ideally we would love to have both a priest and a minister present so that we are fair to both families but I am not sure if this is allowed in the Catholic Church. Has anyone had a similar issue?

Also, are the pre marriage courses religious or are they fairly neutral. We have no issue with going to one, however H2B may not be too impressed if it is very Catholic!

Sorry for all the questions, but any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated!

St James

you need to talk to your your local priest and then the priest in your home town. it can be done, with representatives from both churches, but you might not be able to have Eucharist, given the substantial differences here.

How Strange

Have you considered a humanist ceremony which is spiritual rather than religious or is a religious ceremony essential for one or both of you?

tatli_lokma

from my personal experience of asking for an interfaith ceremony I was told that technically the answer is no - the Catholic church do not officially recognise 'blessings' or similar ceremonies and many priests will not agree to perform them. I was told that both partners MUST accept the sacriment of marriage in the Catholic sense. They have no issue with imparting this sacriment on a non-Catholic, but it must be the proper full marriage service.

As I said it depends on the priest - some priests are prepared to unofficially conduct blessings or 'interfaith' ceremonies, but for others is a definite no. It also depends on what compromises your partner is prepared to make, although it may be easier for him being Christian - my hubby is Muslim so it seemed so strange that the Catholic church were refusing a blessing and instead insisting that he accept a sacriment which meant nothing to him! They simply just wanted him to say he accepted it - they didn't really care if he meant it or not!

Also be prepared to be asked if you are willing to bring any children from the marriage up as Catholics and have them baptised as Catholics - whilst technically the Church cannot insist on this or refuse you, some of the older fashioned priests find this a deal breaker!

good luck - let us know how you get on!

katetehblue

I'm Church of Ireland and my fiance is Catholic and as far as I know you wouldn't be able to marry a Non-Catholic in a Catholic church. We were looking around and pretty much were told that I would have to convert before they would even consider it. So basically no.

Church of Ireland however would be much more relaxed about it, (at least my vicar was I don't know how others would be) and said that my fiance wouldn't need to convert or anything. As long as you are of a recognised Christian denomination, then you wouldn't have a problem. My understanding was that if one partner is a parishner than the couple can marry in the church.

My fiance isn't too religious and doesn't really mind which church we marry in, so if we do have a church wedding it'll probably have to be Church of Ireland because (as far as i understand) we wouldn't be allowed to in a Catholic Church.

baby and crumble

Actually, my best mate is CoI and married a Catholic in a catholic church. There was no problem with this, however it did have to be a catholic ceremony in all senses of the word, and they were able to bring the CoI minister to be there as joint celebrant, although the actual marriage was done by the priest.

He did have to go for a little 'talk' with the catholic priest that was marrying them. Basically to agree that the kids would be brough up catholic. He has no problem with it, but that might be a problem for some.

As for the pre marriage course, there is a special one for 'mixed marriages' (which is such a hilarious term!) that you can go to, apparently it's pretty chilled.

Bit different from when my folks married 40 years ago and my Dad had to convert to the CoI!!!! But sure anywho. That's all I know.

tatli_lokma

katetehblue:
I'm Church of Ireland and my fiance is Catholic and as far as I know you wouldn't be able to marry a Non-Catholic in a Catholic church

this is not true at all - you can marry a non-catholic in a catholic church, in fact you can marry a NON-CHRISTIAN in a catholic church. But as zoegh points out, you must have a catholic ceremony in all senses of the word, including the acceptance of catholic liturgy, creed and sacriment.
My hubby is Muslim and when I enquired I was told there would be no problem marrying us in a Catholic church, but we must have a full catholic ceremony and he must accept the sacriment of marriage (even without understanding the concept! that doesn't matter! he just has to go along with it!). The other stipulation is that my children be brought up Catholic.

I wasn't too keen on this (my partner didn't mind, as far as he was concerned, it was just words to him!) as I am not overly religious in the catholic sense, but I would have liked a blessing. A blessing was totally ruled out by the priest, and it was me who had an issue with a full catholic ceremony tbh. I also wan't keen on being told that I must raise my children as Cahtolic and totally ignore my husband's faith! So we went with a civil ceremony in the end.

Unless marrying in a catholic church means an awful lot to you, then I would suggest a civil ceremony - it can be just as nice, and in some cases nicer if you put thought into it.