He's 18, Im 15/16...

superblue

Im 15, going on 16. and not long ago, I came into contact with an old friend over facebook (who is no 18) and we got talking. We get on real well; I love talking to him, and he's always talking to me.

Yeah, he's cute, you could say I like him, and I kinda have the vibe he likes me too. But how am I to be sure? I mean he's 18, and really sweet (FYI he's openly gay, I've only come out to a few) and seems kinda eager.

Do I do anything? Help would be great!
x

Dwn Wth Vwls

It's probably not what you want to hear, but you should bear in mind that the age of consent is 17. He may not want to get involved with you because of the legal implications.

BanzaiBk

You're 15. This is confusing enough for you without complicating it with something like this.

Take your time, trust me you have loads of it.

number10a

I agree with the other guys. Take your time. If it feels right for both of you, it'll happen naturally.

L1011

While he may be "the one", you're only 15 - and yeah, he's close in age, but still. Leave it a while, keep friends with him but don't go looking for anything further, yet.

And as Dwn wth Vwls said, remember the age of consent here is 17, not 16 like most people seem to think it is!

MicraBoy

In general I would say NO NO NO and NO. This is a court case waiting to happen.

The Irish Times

BlueLepreachaun

On the one hand, that age gap is tiny, on the other, the maturity gap between a 15 year old and an 18 year old is pretty big.
Also as the above posters link showed, in Ireland you can get away with a suspended sentence for stabbing someone, but have sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend who is even slightly under the age of consent and they'll lock you up.

You can still go out with him just not have sex, or wait a year and take a trip to the uk or something...

Just dont I'd say, more hassle than its worth, for all concerned.

AcePuppetMaster

I think this is going to end up in tears with someone getting hurt. He could end up with a sexual conviction and on the sex offender's register and possibly jail. No, no, no in the strongest sense of the word.

If all you have to do is wait until you're 17 then wait. If he cares that much about you, then he'll wait. I suggest meeting someone your own age and be mindful of the age in which we live.

It may be consensual but it is called statutory rape! Beware.

superblue

BlueLepreachaun wrote: »

On the one hand, that age gap is tiny, on the other, the maturity gap between a 15 year old and an 18 year old is pretty big.
Also as the above posters link showed, in Ireland you can get away with a suspended sentence for stabbing someone, but have sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend who is even slightly under the age of consent and they'll lock you up.

You can still go out with him just not have sex, or wait a year and take a trip to the uk or something...

Just dont I'd say, more hassle than its worth, for all concerned.

I do live in the UK, England actually. =]

BlueLepreachaun

Oh, well then when your 16 go for it I suppose.
If this is about goin out with him keep in mind theres still a big maturity gap between a 16 and an 18 year old, so that may result in a lot of issues, arguments, misunderstandings, overreactions etc

superblue

superblue wrote: »

Im 15, going on 16. and not long ago, I came into contact with an old friend over facebook (who is no 18) and we got talking. We get on real well; I love talking to him, and he's always talking to me.

Yeah, he's cute, you could say I like him, and I kinda have the vibe he likes me too. But how am I to be sure? I mean he's 18, and really sweet (FYI he's openly gay, I've only come out to a few) and seems kinda eager.

Do I do anything? Help would be great!
x

I met up with him tonight, secretly, he complemented me a couple of times, and was really sweet. But i cant work out whether he is doing it just very friendly, or in a different way... he did bring 'being gay' up a few times though..

T Corolla

superblue wrote: »

I met up with him tonight, secretly, he complemented me a couple of times, and was really sweet. But i cant work out whether he is doing it just very friendly, or in a different way... he did bring 'being gay' up a few times though..

Take your time with this you are 15 alot of living to do. Take it step by step with him do not expect everything to happen quickly or it will be over and you will not know what happened. Do not engage sexually with him just enjoy what to offer it maybe the best connection you might ever make and even if all the piece do not fit into place he can become a friend for life take care kiddo and play it safe

Aard

These kind of situations can go from zero to sixty pretty fast. Carry a condom, even if you don't plan on having sex.

Roro4Brit

sorry guys but where did the op mention anything about sex? whats with the tirades on age of consent, court cases and condoms?

BlueLepreachaun

If you think the guys not gonna be lookin for sex your painfully naive Roro.

Daisy D

superblue wrote: »

I do live in the UK, England actually. =]

Ok so you live in the UK. My points of note would be the following:

1. Everyone who's posted at some stage mentions sex...why?-you're 15, why would you want to have sex at 15 when you know that the person you want to "see" or "be with" is 18...and as far as I am aware, you're parents could bring a case against this person without your consent because you are srill a "minor".
2. If you live in the UK which you do, you've said, then I would think if sex is an option wait until you're 16 (legally allowed) and then talk about it with friends/family or peers and see what you want to do...it's not THAT amazing, and believe me, you'll probably have alot of it in your lifetime!
3. 'Slow and steady wins the race' don't rush anything, because it could end in tears, or worse.
4. Friendships last forever, longer alot of the times than boyfriends! So be friends and embrace the friendship!
5. If this guy likes you, he'll wait...patiently!!

Hope at least some of my points helped, and good luck mister! xXx

Daisy D

BlueLepreachaun wrote: »

If you think the guys not gonna be lookin for sex your painfully naive Roro.

I agree with Roro...100%, I think people need to address ALL aspects of this issue, not just the ****ing!!

Aard

Daisy D wrote: »

Everyone who's posted at some stage mentions sex...why?-you're 15, why would you want to have sex at 15 when you know that the person you want to "see" or "be with" is 18...

Lol. Yes, a 15 year old male - sure the thought of sex has never crossed his innocent young mind. And the fact that the other guy is 18 - well that's just more of a turn off! Right?


I think it would be foolish not to advise him to bring a condom.

MicraBoy

Daisy D wrote: »

I agree with Roro...100%, I think people need to address ALL aspects of this issue, not just the ****ing!!

The OP didn't make it clear which aspect of the relationship he wanted to discuss. I think posters are perfectly entitled to interpret the post as they see fit in the absence of clarification.

Roro4Brit

Glad to see I'm not the only naive person on here

All I was trying to say is that Every single reply to the op was just about sex....nothing else... No advice on where to go for a date, or how to get to know the lad or how to maybe meet other similar people.....just straight in there with the sex sex sex.

I agree that anyone who is starting to date bring a condom and be prepared, but Christ, if he young lad wasn't worried about sex before he certainly is after these responses!

boredboard

why would OP ask "do i do anything?" unless he had something in mind that he wasn't fully sure he should be doing... to me that implies having sexual relations with someone when he is underage so the advice re safe sex or no sex would be considered valid... my advice would be to get to know the guy well before any kind of commitment and hope it all works out :0)

BlueLepreachaun

Daisy D wrote: »

I agree with Roro...100%, I think people need to address ALL aspects of this issue, not just the ****ing!!

I did, hence all the talk about maturity gaps.

Ok so you live in the UK. My points of note would be the following: Everyone who's posted at some stage mentions sex...why?

Glad to see I'm not the only naive person on here

All I was trying to say is that Every single reply to the op was just about sex....nothing else... No advice on where to go for a date, or how to get to know the lad or how to maybe meet other similar people.....just straight in there with the sex sex sex

..they're males and teenages...were you ever 15?

I agree that anyone who is starting to date bring a condom and be prepared, but Christ, if he young lad wasn't worried about sex before he certainly is after these responses!

No need for him to be worried at all, he shoudl't and doens't have to do anything he doens' t want to do. and I agree with everyone else that hes too young to be doing anything yet, should wait until 16 at least.

My point was to keep in mind the possibility that the world is more than just faggy fairytales about love..and there is a possibility thats not what the guys after, I hope he is, but keep in mind the possibility, and if sex is something the OP is concerned with then a good way to test that would be to see if the other guy waits until he's 16.

If you live in the UK which you do, you've said, then I would think if sex is an option wait until you're 16 (legally allowed) and then talk about it with friends/family or peers and see what you want to do...it's not THAT amazing, and believe me, you'll probably have alot of it in your lifetime!

Ah it is pretty amazing now, woduln't count on the first time being that way tho.

'Slow and steady wins the race' don't rush anything, because it could end in tears, or worse.

Friendships last forever, longer alot of the times than boyfriends! So be friends and embrace the friendship!

If this guy likes you, he'll wait...patiently!!

Agree 100%

KeyLimePie

I was 15 and dated an 18 year old and I wouldn't recommend it. We were both looking for different things and I wasn't emotionally mature enough to cope with it and especially the break up, I think you should forget about this lad and try to find someone your age

And to address the physical side of things, don't do ANYTHING straight away or at least for 2 months, it sorts out what he's REALLY looking in the relationship

shoegirl

Ah folks, in all fairness, if this was a just-16 year old girl and the guy was 18, would we be saying the same?

I would suggest waiting a bit and thinking about what you're doing. There are consequences to having sex and be well aware of staying safe etc.

superblue

KeyLimePie wrote: »

I was 15 and dated an 18 year old and I wouldn't recommend it. We were both looking for different things and I wasn't emotionally mature enough to cope with it and especially the break up, I think you should forget about this lad and try to find someone your age

And to address the physical side of things, don't do ANYTHING straight away or at least for 2 months, it sorts out what he's REALLY looking in the relationship

I hate to say it, but you were right. We went out for a week (from last monday) and it was going well (no details!), and he was keen and even referred to us in a couple of years time.
today, got a text at school, him being all nice but the fact of the matter is he broke up with me, but still wanting to be friends. So i text him back, and he says it was quite a lot of things that made him do it. That a very basic summary.

So now I feel ****, and over thinking how he said it was quite a lot of things. was it cos his friends? (because they didnt know) or is it just me? Self esteem going great for me here

Now he is ignoring me, and I feel really depressed and crap.
Thanks guys for the help anyway, I should have taken it in more, but please dont rub it in my face.
well there you have it, on and off in a week...

Boston

Don't put too much stock in whatever reasons he give you. His opinion of who you are is just that, an opinion, and not necessarily an accurate one.

Aard

Fair play for being honest about what happened OP.

Dwn Wth Vwls

I think when there's an age gap, it's generally the older person who feels awkward about it. He was probably worried about his friends slagging him for robbing the cradle. Don't take it personally, and just enjoy the fact that you had a new experience. I'm sure it was a good week while it lasted.

KeyLimePie

superblue wrote: »

I hate to say it, but you were right. We went out for a week (from last monday) and it was going well (no details!), and he was keen and even referred to us in a couple of years time.
today, got a text at school, him being all nice but the fact of the matter is he broke up with me, but still wanting to be friends. So i text him back, and he says it was quite a lot of things that made him do it. That a very basic summary.

So now I feel ****, and over thinking how he said it was quite a lot of things. was it cos his friends? (because they didnt know) or is it just me? Self esteem going great for me here

Now he is ignoring me, and I feel really depressed and crap.
Thanks guys for the help anyway, I should have taken it in more, but please dont rub it in my face.
well there you have it, on and off in a week...

Well there you have it. Your first short quixotic relationship
that'll prepare you for life.

You must remember that he dumped you not cause there's something wrong with you but there's something wrong with him and you shouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing you're still not over him cause you will get over him eventually. At least next time you'll know what to expect.

Boston

KeyLimePie wrote: »

You must remember that he dumped you not cause there's something wrong with you but there's something wrong with him and you shouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing you're still not over him cause you will get over him eventually. At least next time you'll know what to expect.

I don't think theres anything particularly wrong with an 18 year old who decides that a relationship with a minor is a bad idea. Shows he had a bit of cop on in the end, though poor form for letting it develop to the stage it did.

foggy_lad

Each time the op here has referred to this 18year old he has mentioned how he was not even sure if he was gay so dont be surprised that he has probabaly used you to experiment with and has decided now that he is not gay. From your last post it would seem that he was not out and not ready for people to find out he was going out with another guy.

Dwn Wth Vwls

foggy_lad wrote: »

Each time the op here has referred to this 18year old he has mentioned how he was not even sure if he was gay so dont be surprised that he has probabaly used you to experiment with and has decided now that he is not gay. From your last post it would seem that he was not out and not ready for people to find out he was going out with another guy.

Umm, no. He says the 18 year old is openly gay in the first post.

why so serious?

foggy_lad wrote: »

Each time the op here has referred to this 18year old he has mentioned how he was not even sure if he was gay so dont be surprised that he has probabaly used you to experiment with and has decided now that he is not gay. From your last post it would seem that he was not out and not ready for people to find out he was going out with another guy.

Yes he said the 18 year old was openly gay in his first post but I agree with you, it is obvious the prick just used him for sex, I know it sounds harsh kid but that's just the way it is, but atleast you learned a lesson, just make shore to remember it the next time you find yourself in a similar situation, and fair ****s to you for going out and looking for a relationship and not just sitting back waiting for it to happen when your only 15 years old, wish I was a bit more enthusiastic when I was your age, but remember your only 15 so you have the rest of your life ahead of you, a lot will happen even in the next year and especially with the way your going, not afraid to seek it out so I mean ALOT will happen! This time next year you look back and you will be living a different life, you will also have matured alot and be much wiser! Good luck!

superblue

foggy_lad wrote: »

Each time the op here has referred to this 18year old he has mentioned how he was not even sure if he was gay so dont be surprised that he has probabaly used you to experiment with and has decided now that he is not gay. From your last post it would seem that he was not out and not ready for people to find out he was going out with another guy.

I see how you got to that assumption, but he had 2 boyfriends before.