Still In Love

b12mearse

hi,

i met G fives years ago and i fell in love with her. when i met her, i was dating another girl, M, and promised M, i would go to her debbs.

M was iving at the other side of the country and i only seen her on occassions. the relationship was never anything serious and it was just a matter of time before we finished.
so one night i met G in the nightclub and we hit it off great and fell head over heals for each other. that night G and I slept together and had a wonderful night.
the next day or so, G and I were txting each other and G wanted to meet again and I was over the moon.
I told G that I had promised M that I would go to her debbs and that i wouldnt stand her up as it was soon.
Then G got the impression that I had used her the night before to sleep with her so she got ever so angry and didnt want anything to do with me after that.

I was quite shocked and upset and I constantly persued her on the phone but to no avail.
So some time past and while I was in college I heard G was pregnant which devastated me.
I was told that she was with some other guy and felt the relationship was pretty cemented because of the pregnancy.

For the past five years I have never gotten over G. I found her bebo page about a year ago after constant searching and I finally somed up the courage to create my own profile and request her friendship whch she accepted!
I asked her how she was and so and so but never asked about her boyfriend or husband.
Recently I have been sending her msgs but she does not respond and makes it obvious that her profile has been active.
I'm quite sad and dont know what to do..
Am I a stalker? Should I give up?
I'm still in LOVE!

rizzee

5 years is a long time. i think its time to move on, shes settling down.

CDfm

The first thing that crossed my mind is that you send the messages when you are drunk. Do you.

OP - the thing is you dont know this person and you had a very brief relationship and a one night stand with 5 years ago.

She has a child and a relationship since then and her life is a lot more serious than thinking about some randomer she had a brief fling with years ago.

She knows that and you don't. You are just in love with an illusion.

What you are doing is unhealthy and she is doing the right thing ignoring you. It could get worse and she could complain you to the mods.

If you cant stop yourself sending messages your should talk to someone about it and if there is no one you can talk to make an appointment with your GP.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but your expectations are unrealistic.

b12mearse

I dont send msgs when im drunk.
i rarely drink.

thanks for the advice. but why should I see a GP?

CDfm

b12mearse wrote: »

I dont send msgs when im drunk.
i rarely drink.

thanks for the advice. but why should I see a GP?

You should be well over this. I can't remember people 5 years ago that I had flings with or fancied.

If this is holding you back in life and relationships you may need to talk it out with someone who is not a close friend. Sometimes talking about something acknowledges it makes it real. It may be what you need.

Then if you need to go to a councellor or help to move on you can get it.

EDIT- this isn't hugely unusual. WB Yates wrote some bloody awful poetry about Maud Gonne -nearly as bad as Morrisseys solo recordings. You just need to get it in perspective and take a wild hand with yourself.

Easy peasy. If its holding you back don't sweat it.

b12mearse

yes its quite pathetic..but i was never felt wanted like that b4

CDfm

b12mearse wrote: »

yes its quite pathetic..

Pathetic would be doing nothing about it. Recognising it and doing something about it is not.

Contessa Raven

I think it's fair to say that she has moved on and has made it clear that she isn't interested. OP, think of it this way: 5 yrs ago she was young, free and single. Now she has a child and quite possibly a long-term partner.

5 yrs is a long time and some people change alot within that time frame. Put this with the fact she's had a child, then she's probably not the same person today that she was back then. Parenthood changes people. So does time.

I agree with CDfm. You're in love with an illusion.

You should move on and find somebody else.

b12mearse

ya your right fcuk it

CDfm

We often go back and try to recapture the times when we were happiest.

You should try that but do so in search of a new woman. If anything what this points to is that you need someone to love.