Expected to be cool with any new situations

unreggd

So, My Dad is foreign, and goes home once a year around Christmas

Last year he remarried when he was home, but he never told me

He told my sister, so I knew, but he never told me himself

So just after they married he called me, and put her on the phone, as if I've known her for years [didn't even know her name at this point]

Then I got home a few weeks later as I was at the same time

He didnt introduce me to her, I had to do that myself


Her English isnt great, so they always speak in arabic, and its hard for me to speak to her, but I do try

She hasnt been happy since she got here. She just sits in watchin TV all day, cleanin the house, which isnt even messy as we're 3 adults

She cries a lot too, esp whenever she speaks to her family when my Dad's not there [I set up Yahoo for her]

No plans for her to work [for the sake of gettin out of the house] or learn english [so she can interact with irish people in shops etc]


She's 20 years younger than my Dad, 2 years older than my sister [his only daughter]
Again, I found this out when I brought her to the dentist and they asked her DOB
She doesnt look physically old, but I thought she was late 40's or somethin


Then I found some leaflets abt pregnancy classes, so thought she might be pregnant, but didnt know for defo, and again, he wouldnt have told me

Im in Oz now for 8 months and my sister just told me she is, and due in January
Again, Dad said nothing at all

So I wasnt sure when I left, now when I get home they'll have a 4 month old child

My Dad is muslim, so he believes he can do whatever he likes, and that thats always the right thing to do

Its not abt askin me for permission, but I'd like to know, esp when it's things that will effect my living situation

Every aspect of this situation is a mess, and he's the only one happy

I also feel so sorry for the kid, as it will be raised muslim in Ireland, and my Dad prob wont be around longer than the kids 15th birthday [a guaranteed loss]
I'm not happy sayin this, but im bein realistic
He's a bit overweight, doesnt work out, and has zero nutrition in his diet


I know at the end of the day it's his business

I just want him to actually realise how it makes me feel
[the fact he doesnt tell me anything]
and give a sh;t for once


[/rant]

sam34

ok, i do sympathise with you, it's not nice to feel excluded from family information and plans. your dad should have the courtesy to discuss things with you.

buuuuut, what age are you? i'm guessing you're at least 18, since you've gone off to oz for 8 months. in that case, you dont have to continue to live at home. get a part time job, move out and support yourself. then you wont have your "living arrangements" affected by your dad's lifestyle.

JuliusCaesar

Your father and you - different generation, different culture, different expectations.....have you ever told him how you feel?

It seems you have some sort of relationship with your stepmother, maybe you can help her to find out about English classes etc. You'll be (probably) gone from the nest fairly soon, and you'll be an uncle of sorts to your half-brother.

Does your sister live at home too?