Tired of being kicked when I'm down

LegacyUser

Long time member, but anonymous for this one.

Got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years last night. I knew we had problems, but I thought we'd get through it. I lost my business in January, it was yanked from under me by an unscrupulous individual. Losing that felt like a bereavement, I know because I lost my dad 2 years before. Losing the business has led to a lot of stress, while that was going on, my GF had to go into hospital and have an overy removed. That really messed her up, her hormones went ape**** and she refuses to go to a doctor about it.

I just thought that we'd get through the bad times together and that it would make us stronger. I never once let myself get depressed this year, I never gave in. I'm trying my best to study a part time course and I'm hunting for jobs everyday, I'm still cleaning up the mess left by the business, but everyday gets a bit easier. I feel like everything I fought for this year was motivated by the fact that I loved my girlfriend and that I'd do anything to get back to the way things were. She was the reason I got up in the morning and she was what I looked forward to all day.

But now I feel really empty, not sure what to do. I'm 33, staying with my mother, in debt, all my friends have settled down and non of it mattered because I had dreams of the future and they all involved me and her together.

I feel like life is kicking my ass, lost my dad, lost my business and now lost the one thing that was keeping me going.

She said that she has started to see me as a friend more than a boyfriend, I tried to suggest that maybe her feelings are skewed by circumstances this year, including her operation (which left her tired, cranky and eliminated her sex drive). We talked about sex, our sex life was pretty bad this year, I see it as a reason for us drifting apart, she sees it as a symptom, to be honest, I see it as medical too! I asked her to look past this year, think about what we had before and how we can work on getting it back again, but she thinks that once it's gone, it's gone. Maybe she's right.

Any advise would be appreciated.

Fiend-Foe

Give her time. Give yourself some too.

You both need to sort your lives out individually first.

Get back on your feet and give her time to recover from her operation and start feeling like herself again.

I wish you both all the best, hope you sort things out. Sorry to hear about your Dad.

scarymoon1

you know what - **** things happen. In the space of 2 years - i lost an uncle to cancer, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me, i lost my job, family member in hospital, had to move home because of money issues, a pass degree that wasn't worth ****e and alot of other things that are significant to me but not to others. Before that my life was great - happy in school and in college i had the best time of my life with my boyfriend. Today - im still single and unemployed. But to look on the bright side im now learning more in college again.Things will get better op -your ex girlfriend, leave her do her own thing for a while. I did that and my ex came back but i rejected him even thought i still loved him. I couldnt get over the fact he dumped me! But thats me. Just go and enjoy yourself - life has its bad patches but it will be better again.