falling out of love?

LegacyUser

I'm hoping you can help me here-I don't really have anyone else to ask about it!

I've been with my bf for over a year and things have always been so great- exciting, passionate, sexy, fun adventures all the time.He's an amazing guy and sometimes I dont even think I deserve him.I know he loves me a lot cause he always says it and I've always said it back until recently.

The problem is that I was always so happy in his company and couldnt wait for him to come over or call me.But now I just feel numb, bored and have to make myself smile at him.Am I just being harsh?
I've thought about a break up and the what it would be like afterwards and I know he'd be totally heartbroken and prob doesnt deserve it but at the same time I cant go on pretending things are still ok. I dont want us to grow apart but I think we are

What should I do?I'm so lost......

Tinkerbell09

apparently a throwback to our caveman (and cavewomen:D)days. i think its to do with either hormones or pheremones (not sure) the idea being that in the beginning of a relationship theres all the ripping each othes loincloths off with lust and generally a year or 18 months into it a woman is pregnant and then has another main focus after the birth.

not really helpful i suppose, but what i mean is all couples settle down a bit after this time. the difference you need to ask yourself is do you love him, or do you love the idea of him, do you want the company of a boyfriend, or do you want the company of this guy in particular as your boyfriend.

is there anything that you need to be doing to relieve the bordom? a relatioship is a mutual effort, so you need to ask yourself if you are getting complacent yourself?

best of luck wit whatever you decide:)

LegacyUser

thanks for replying-any bit of advise helps!
we were always really good for doing things together like big and small things from romantic weekends to simple picnics. now i dont get any kick out of the old things like holding his hand on the street like i used to.but now im like not motivated to do anything cause it feels like the same ol same ol......
ive even tried a break to refresh things but he couldnt deal with it and we had to meet up again after 3days and were fully back on after a week.its done nothing.
this situation makes me so sad i cry everytime he goes home and even when hes here i have to try so hard to keep back the tears, always denying that anything is wrong.
also im only 21 and ive always thrived on youth and freedom.its been such a good relationship but this isnt youth or freedom anymore, it feels like a 10 yr old marriage.....

shellyboo

Hmm, this may be harsh... but I think you should end it with him. We're not talking about a marriage here, you're young, it's only been two years... clearly you're not going to stay with him for the rest of your life just out of guilt, right?

Let him go off and find someone who can be mad about him - he deserves that and you deserve better, too.

DangerMouse27

Il be totally honest...seems like your searching for it.....your 21...time to grow up!
Id say let him go..coz your way too immature for a proper relationship.
Your 21 and your mates are heading out or being independent and you feel strangled...especially now college has started back..
The only prob here is your maturity..ps..your girlfriends are never gonna go against you and suggest to keep him....how do i know all this or make assumptions?...im a 26 yr old psych nurse student in among about forty twenty one year old student nurses....

But hey its your decision but he might jus surprize you this time and leave you be..for good!

LegacyUser

so i took all your great advice into consideration, thanks for that.

i left it for a few days and things were looking up a bit untill i was out one night and cheated on my bf it wasnt with a randomer, it was with a friend of a friend.i feel so ashamed and disgusted with myself that im just one of those horrible people now. but i think it made me realise how little my bf actually means to me at this stage....

im sure he'll take it really badly but he's too good for me now....bye bye relationship

extrinzic

That was a really immature thing to do. You knew you were going to leave him, and you couldn't do that without cheating on him. I suspect you did this in-order to brake your ex's heart. Perhaps it makes it easier on you to make him hate you. He deserved better than this. He will be better off without you.